Silver WInd Posted August 5, 2007 Report Posted August 5, 2007 There was a rose it bloomed only under the moon while its vines dug in deep each thorn pulsed with blood as the blossom gorges upon itself ever fuller it grows the seed implanted deep within while it awaits to birth open aromatic sweetness tinged with bitter. Soon each petal would slip away falling like winter rain until the stalk is left bare with only one sweet memory of what once had been. So the song is sung that never had been heard with the winds passage fires burn bright in the skies while the moon is blinded and so her lover must pale scorched by viscous sunlight.
Wyvern Posted August 5, 2007 Report Posted August 5, 2007 Very nice uses of mystical and poetic imagery in this piece, Silver Wind. :-) I particularly like the segment where the "blossom gorges upon itself," as well as the end of the poem with its interesting pale sunburn imagery. The thought of the deeply planted seeds birthing mixed aromas was very interesting as well, though the word "bitter" in the tenth line felt a bit awkward to me in its non-grammatical placement. Still, this is a very nice poem Silver Wind. Thanks for choosing to share it here, and welcome to the Pen! I look forward to reading more of your stuff and seeing you around. :-) With that, Wyvern rubs his claws together and begins scheming ways to harvest his own brand of silver moon roses, preemptively scribbling sketches for Almost Dragonic Brand Total Eclipse Bouquets and Almost Dragonic Brand Moon Crater Scent Perfume...
Silver WInd Posted August 5, 2007 Author Report Posted August 5, 2007 Thank you very much, I look foward to sharing my poetry here
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