Zadown Posted July 7, 2007 Report Posted July 7, 2007 Mishmash, a hasty signature, same ambiguous restless line as the instructions left by his mother. Letters left open, smudges left by mistakes - only somebody who can remember what was meant can decipher those hieroglyphs. What they lack they have in organic beauty, entrancing, like a flame, the eyes of a tired thinker.
Wyvern Posted July 8, 2007 Report Posted July 8, 2007 Nice poem, Zadown. :-) The subject matter is very interesting, and the I like the way that the messy writing is given a sense of mystery over the course of the poem. I also really like the reference to the instructions left by the mother in the fourth line, as it had a personal feel to it that gave the poem an element of introspection. My only disappointment was that the beauty of the smudgy lines wasn't elaborated on a bit more... "organic" was kind of a vague adjective there to me, and I wasn't as entranced as the narrator with the image. Anyway, thanks for sharing this Zadown. :-) It's nicely done.
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