Alisha Readman Posted May 15, 2007 Report Posted May 15, 2007 I truly suck at trying to rhyme or even get things in the context for a poem, so please enjoy it nonetheless. An Ode to Clothes Taking off shoes then socks, tossing the socks in my hamper, later to be washed, soon to be buried under others. A sweatshirt with mustard stains, jeans with grass stains, a T-shirt with dirt spread across it, a bandanna smelling of sweat. Weeks pass, and finally, I wake up with little to wear. Wearing sandals and sweats, I get ready for the laundromat. Opening up my hamper, I start to scream, running from the room. The shock was too much. The smell was unbearable, and the visual was worse. On top of my favorite clothes, were growing fungus and mushrooms!!
reverie Posted May 16, 2007 Report Posted May 16, 2007 (edited) eh rhyme can be a crutch. I wouldn't worry too much about it. Context on the other hand is always important, but varies poem by poem. Here's a suggestion. Linger a little more in your images. Don't be afraid to deviate from set stanzas lenths such as quatrains. Example. 1st two stanza could be rearrange like this: Taking off shoes then socks, tossing socks in my hamper-- later to be washed, soon to be buried under others: A sweatshirt with mustard stains, jeans with grass stains, a T-shirt with dirt spread across it (try something like: encased in dirt, but with a better verb) a bandanna smelling of sweat. ---- Weeks pass, and finally, I wake up with little to wear. Wearing sandals and sweats, I get ready for the laundromat. ----- Linger: Weeks pass, and having little to wear save sandals and sweats, I blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank blank, kudos, rev... Edited May 16, 2007 by reverie
Wyvern Posted May 16, 2007 Report Posted May 16, 2007 Wyvern scratches his scaly chin as he reads over the smellier parts of Ran Yoko's poem, sniffing at the air every couple of seconds to put the honored guest's current pair of socks to the test. The overgrown lizard snorts when he picks up on little more than a faint scent of pine and a hint of Norman the Runt's fishbone sandwich lunch from the Muse and Quill Cafe. He marks the final line of the poem with a claw and turns towards Ran Yoko with a toothy grin. "Hmmm... y'know, I could use some o' those mushrooms of yers as an ingredient for my Almost Dragonic Brand Extra-Chunky Prosthetic Limb Pizza Batter™." Wyvern lets his forked tongue flick out as he pulls several crumpled pieces of paper out of his front pocket. "Maybe we could strike a lil' deal? How about these five 'half-a-geld-off Almost Dragonic Brand Previously Worn Xmas Stockings' flyers for a handful of your juiciest sock mushrooms? Heck, I'll even throw in a free sample of the ensssuing pie for good measure." Wyvern spits on his claw, then raises it in Ran Yoko's direction in the hopes of shaking her hand and sealing the deal. ;-)
Alisha Readman Posted May 22, 2007 Author Report Posted May 22, 2007 Ran stares at Wyvern, then sticks her tongue out at him childishly. "In your dreams, bub." She stalks off, leaving Miho behind. Miho tiptoes over to the shocked Wyvern, and whispers to him, "The stupid auther told me to get rid of the mushrooms. However, I still have some of them with me, and I can get more. I'll sell them to you for, say, 15 geld each?"
Wyvern Posted May 28, 2007 Report Posted May 28, 2007 "15 geld?!" Wyvern snorts a laugh that ends in an ash-clogged cough. He sticks his snout in the air and raises a claw, shaking his head. "I ain't paying hard currency for something that you'd usually have to pay emergency maid service to remove! Niccce try, though." "Suite yourself..." The ninja minion shrugs and turns to walk off in the direction of Ran Yoko. "But I hear that sock shrooms are in with the goblin teens these days." "Hrrmmm." Wyvern lowers his head and raises a claw to his chin. He contemplates Miho's statement for a moment, then growls to himself and dashes off after her. The overgrown lizard races in front of her and spreads his wings to block her path, loudly clearing his throat. "Hold on now, maybe we could come to sssome sort of compromise... I'll trade ya 3 geld, 4 'half-a-geld-off Almost Dragonic Brand Previously Worn Xmas Stockings™' flyers, and this Almost Dragonic Brand Champion Razor Frisbee™ for the whole stock of sock mushroomsss and a bit of fungi on the side. A one-time only offer, think it through!"
Ran Yoko Posted June 14, 2007 Report Posted June 14, 2007 Sora walks by, hearing the exchange between Miho and Wyvern. "I think he's getting desperate," she remarks. "I'd hold out a little longer if I were you, ninja." She hurries to catch up with Ran, and pats her on the shoulder, saying, "Nice job on your poem."
Recommended Posts