Curious Mylo Posted April 20, 2007 Report Posted April 20, 2007 I wrote this for my Advanced Theatre Arts Class. We're going to be performing in a about a month and a half, and I'm really excited about it. It is the prequel to Short on Doctors. But I haven't had the brain functionability ((if that's even a word)) to think of a good name for it, so if anyone can think of one that would be appreciated. As with Short on Doctors, there are two actors for most of the aliens. All except for #5. The voices are backstage when it's performed because the aliens are telepathic. TADAA!!! Hope you all like it as much as I do. ~~~~~~~~~~~ Characters: Alien #1: Male. He's worked for the Searching New Worlds Program for half his life and hasn't gotten a job in so long that he doesn't see a point in coming to work. Voice of Alien #1: See Above Alien #2: Female. Dumb Blonde. She's one of Alien #1's sister's friends so she's never seen Alien #1 before, but she's convinced it's love at first sight. She doesn't have a mind of her own, and she's decided to do what Alien #1 says rather than #3 or #4. Voice of Alien #2: See Above Alien #3: Female. Attached by the fingers to her twin sister #4. The less smart of the twins. Not dumb, just not as witty or obnoxious. The twins are almost always fighting. Voice of Alien #3: See Above Alien #4: Female. Attached by the fingers to her twin sister #3. Very Sarcastic and always the first to tell #3 how stupid she is. The twins are almost always fighting. Voice of Alien #4: See Above Alien #5: The Leader guy of the Alien Planet. Everyone is afraid of him. He's never on stage, it's just a voice part. Alien #6: Alien #1's sister. They're close and always do what they can to help each other. She's got a very quiet personality. Voice of Alien #6: See Above 1 extra alien to carry the sign. Scene 1 [Alien #1 is sitting at his desk being bored out of his mind when his boss' voice fills the room.] Voice of Alien #5: What, exactly, are you doing? Voice of Alien #1: Oh, uh... writing. See? Words! Voice of Alien #5: Yes, now. How long has it been since your last mission? Voice of Alien #1: I've quit counting. It got depressing. Voice of Alien #5: Well, I have a mission for you. It is a very important one and you cannot say no. If you fail me, you will be released of your duties and cannot return to us. Voice of Alien #1: Of... Of course. What am I to do for you? Voice of Alien #5: You are to go observe Earth and see how close we are to being able to take over. I would like you to take notes on how quick you think it will be and how long the transition is looking to take. And get your crew ready by sun down so you can leave before light. Voice of Alien #1: Uhm...okay... Voice of Alien #5: Get working. NOW! Voice of Alien #1: Working! (#1 sits at his desk and starts working on the list. An alien walks halfway across the stage and holds up a 2 hours later sign.) Voice of Alien #1: Finished!! (First call) Hello, I'm on the... oh... you heard. Yes, I was wondering... oh. You're busy. That's okay. Thank you for your time. (Second Call) Hello. I'm on the mission to Earth and I was...hello? Hello? (Third Call) Hello. I'm on the mission to Earth. Yes, I'll hold. (sings I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts) Oh! Heh, yes, I'm here. Oh, your wife won't let you. No, it's okay. Goodbye. Scene 2 [Alien #1 is at his sister's house.] Voice of Alien #1: This is so messed up. I'm on the most dangerous mission in history, and I don't have a crew. No one will go. I don't even want to go. But... I have to. And... one guy hung up on me. Voice of Alien #6: You have to? Voice of Alien #1: I'll “be released” Voice of Alien #6: If it's that big a deal to you, I know some people that are actually really interested in Earth and would go. Voice of Alien #1: Are you serious? Voice of Alien #6: Absolutely. Voice of Alien #1: Thank you so much!! Just one moment. (pulls out his phone) Yes, I've got the crew. We'll be ready before light. Scene 3 [Alien #1 is waiting outside the spaceship when Aliens #2 #3 and #4 enter] Voice of Alien #3: Hello? Voice of Alien #1: Hello. Who are you? Voice of Alien #2: We're your crew and I’m gorgeous, right? Voice of Alien #1: Uhh, yyyyeah... about that. You're what? Voice of Alien #3: Your crew. Voice of Alien #4: Duh. Voice of Alien #1: My sister sent... you? Voice of Alien #4: Is there something wrong with that? Voice of Alien #1: You're just... not what I expected. You're... Voice of Alien #2: Actually pretty? Voice of Alien #4: Too tall? Voice of Alien #3: What? Voice of Alien #1: Forget it, if we're going to go let’s just go. Voice of Alien #4: Whatever... Scene 4 [They're flying over Vegas] Voice of Alien #3: Oh my holy wow! It's a distress signal!! Voice of Alien #4: No it's not you moron, it's definitely an Alien Detector Device and we need to leave. Voice of Alien #1: Do you have to fight all the time? Voice of Aliens #3 and #4: Yes. Voice of Alien #3: But I'm sure that they wouldn't have a problem with us. I'm sure it means they need our help. Voice of Alien #1: How are you so sure it means anything at all? Voice of Alien #4: Lights always mean something. Voice of Alien #2: What's this? Voice of Alien #3: That's Shoe Polish. Voice of Alien #2: Really? Voice of Alien #4: Yes. Voice of Alien #2: Wow!! (Begins polishing her shoes) Voice of Alien #4: These lights definitely mean that we're about to be human food. Voice of Alien #3: No, humans don't eat aliens... Voice of Alien #4: They do too! Voice of Alien #2: Really? Voice of Alien #3: No! Voice of Alien #4: Yes! Voice of Alien #3: No! Voice of Alien #4: Yes! Voice of Alien #3: No! Voice of Alien #4: Yes! Voice of Alien #1: NO! If those lights really do mean something, it's more likely to be announcing that the whole city is out of toilet paper. Not help. Not an alien detector device. Okay? Voice of Alien #3: Uhh... Voice of Alien #4: I don't think so. Why would they announce something like that? Voice of Alien #3: Why would they announce they were going to kill us. If they wanted us dead they wouldn't want us to KNOW it. Voice of Alien #4: How do you know? Voice of Alien #3: Because they're MUCH more likely to announce that they need help. (Alien #2 runs over to show Alien #1 that her shoes are shiny and sits on the control panel.) Voice of Alien #2: Do you like? They’re GORGEOUS!! And shiny. And look! You can even see yourself in them. Isn’t that great considering how great you look. (Alien #3 pushes her off the control panel and there’s an electrical failure sound thingy.) Voice of Alien #3: What is wrong with you? Voice of Alien #4: Do you even have a brain? Voice of Alien #3: You sat on the control panel and hit who knows what buttons! Voice of Alien #4: In who knows what order! Voice of Alien #1: Just fix it. And… heh… your shoes are quite shiny. Ugh! No! Let me fix this! (Alien #1 starts trying to fix the problem when the lights go out) Voice of Alien #4: What was that? Voice of Alien #3: The lights went out! Voice of Alien #4: Duh, even the blonde knew that. Voice of Alien #2: Hey! Well, actually I did thank you very much. Voice of Alien #3: What does this button do? Voice of Alien #1: Don’t. Push. Any. Buttons. Voice of Alien #4: Too late! Voice of Alien #3: Don’t push that one! Voice of Alien #4: Too late! Voice of Alien #1: What did you push?! Voice of Alien #2: Ooh! This one looks pretty! Voice of Aliens #1 #3 and #4: NO! (Alien #2 pushes the button) [The lights come on] Voice of Alien #2: Oo! Lights! Voice of Alien #1: Okay, move. Let me fix this. Voice of Alien #3 and #4: NO! Voice of Alien #3: You broke the lights in the first place. Voice of Alien #4: Let us. Voice of Alien #3: We’re professionals. (Alien #2 drags Alien #1 off to the side and shows off her shiny shoes and stuff Alien #3 gets on the ground under the control thingy and starts pulling wires while #4 pushes buttons) Voice of Alien #3: So. I pull this, you push the red one, I flick that one and you switch the green thingy. That should do it. Voice of Alien #4: I don’t think so! (gets on the ground next to her) Because I switch these and then you go up and push the blue triangle while I move that one and then you switch the green thingy. Voice of Alien #3: NO! That’s insane! Voice of Alien #4: No you’re insane! Voice of Alien #3: You’re insaner. Voice of Alien #1: Hey! What are you two doing? I said fix it. Voice of Aliens #3 and #4: Fine! (They get up and start pushing buttons and fighting over which to push. The lights start to flicker and they speed up with the button pushing and louder about the fighting.) Voice of Alien #2: Hey! My shoes look even better in flickery lights! [The lights go out and the ship crashes.] THE END!
Mynx Posted April 20, 2007 Report Posted April 20, 2007 *doubles over laughing* Brilliant! I'm really enjoying these plays of yours Mylo Please don't stop *kitten eyes* As for a title, how about 'Back Seat Fliers'? Only thing I can come up with right now... Regardless, love the play I wish I could find a way to fly over and see it performed Hmm... *wanders off to plot*
Patrick Posted May 14, 2007 Report Posted May 14, 2007 *giggles uncharacteristically* That gave me a great laugh! Thanks for sharing.
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