ryurei Posted April 14, 2007 Report Posted April 14, 2007 Wading through time,Searching for life’s meaning,Hoping for something real,Doubting the results,Believing an answer remains.Through tales of yore,And legends past,One may find others truths,And in finding those,One may even find their own.However,Each find their own interpretation,In others words and deeds,What is understood by one,Another may not see.But then a world of me,Is not to be,For then nothing would change,All the same,Eternal boredom forevermore,For what one may see,I may miss,And what they may miss,I might find,Together seeing all that is.So in need of strife,We together unite,And overcome the false in life,Our strength shared,To live as one.
Wyvern Posted April 22, 2007 Report Posted April 22, 2007 Nice poem, mai takekaze. :-) I like the underlying theme of striving to live as one, though the concepts of overcoming the "false" in life and viewing the physical world as "Eternal boredom" admittedly frighten me a bit. I really like the title of the poem as well, as it drew me towards the piece and had me questioning what it was about before I even started reading it (note: "requium" should be spelled "requiem," unless you intentionally used a different spelling for it). One element of this poem that you might consider improving upon in future revisions are the lines that relay common sense, such as "What is understood by one,/Another may not see" and "For what one may see,/ I may miss,/ And what they may miss,/ I might find." I felt that these lines didn't really add anything to the poem, and detracted from the work as the whole as they felt a bit obvious and cheap. You might consider dropping the lines or replacing them with other contemplations of differences in perception or religion. Anyway, nice stuff once again mai. :-) Thanks for sharing this here.
ryurei Posted July 19, 2007 Author Report Posted July 19, 2007 ok this probly belongs some where else but its all i got:P so here it is: "what are you doing? why do you run? you still have not called me.” I fear him “face forward. you should be able to hear it now.” Hear what? “ that which blocks your ears is worthless fear.” Whats wrong with fear? “ the enemy is one, you are one. what is there to fear?” Your right what do I have to fear? Is it his strength? His commanding aura? His money? “ cast off your fear! look forward! go forward! never stand still. retreat and you will age. hesitate and you will die.” That’s right I shouldn’t fear this man! He is only a man after all! “Mr. Morrison I’m here to take you daughter to the prom.”
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