Patrick Posted April 3, 2007 Report Posted April 3, 2007 Really enjoyed reading this first part, Mynx. Skielah goes from helpless female to powerful killing machine and it was really interesting to see you write the transformation. Eagerly looking forward for more.
Mynx Posted April 3, 2007 Report Posted April 3, 2007 Glad you liked it Pat There's plenty more in the works, I just have assignments that need to be done first *sigh* Hopefully I'll find time in the hols...
Tanuchan Posted April 3, 2007 Report Posted April 3, 2007 I liked it also, and as Patrick I'm waiting for more .
Gwaihir Posted April 12, 2007 Report Posted April 12, 2007 Just found this. Mynx, this is brilliant! I'm not sure the memory loss is completely persuasive but everything else is truly cool.
Wyvern Posted April 19, 2007 Report Posted April 19, 2007 Yikes! I just read through what's been written of this story so far, and had no idea that Mynx was put through so much hell in the past... I guess that the Pen and the people surrounding it must truly bring out the sweeter side of her character, huh? ;-) The tone and chain of events of the story definitely made the world that Skielah lived in seem like a very dark and jaded place, with Frederick offering the only glimpse of kindness or hope thus far. I like the disorienting atmosphere of the beginning of the story, as it reflected Skielah's amnesia and confusion well. The scene where Skielah extorts the weasel hitman-hirer for his gold was also well done... Mynx had quite a mean streak back in the day, didn't she? o_o In terms of possible things to improve: I felt that the events of the story thus far happened very quickly, and were sometimes over too quickly to really become emotional or dramatic. You might consider expanding some scenes or offering a bit more of Skielah's feelings to improve upon this. Also, there were points where the dialogue between characters felt a little iffy to me, particularly in the exchanges between Skielah and Frederick, and you might consider making it less direct and to-the-point as a possible means of improving this. Anyway, nicely done so far Mynx. :-) Very interesting to catch a glimpse of Mynx's past, I'm looking forward to reading more of it...
Patrick Posted April 22, 2007 Author Report Posted April 22, 2007 Read the new installment today. Nicely written. Skielah's character is starting to nicely be fleshed out. If I can have on minor bit of criticism (somewhat along the lines of what Wyvern said) then the transformation from memory-less girl to feline killer seems to be a bit rapid to me. Then again, this might be something you plan on elaborating in the future. Looking forward even more eagerly to more.
Mynx Posted May 30, 2007 Report Posted May 30, 2007 Rargh Not as happy with the new installment as I'd like to be, but I had to get it posted for my mental sake before my paranoia made me delete it *shrugs* Enjoy
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