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The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

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Posted

Shining ripe fruit

offered, like a gift

into my waiting hand

my sacrifice.

 

Snapping skin

crunching flesh

juices spatter

The private interior

breached.

 

Consuming the swollen girth

navigating skin, stem, then seed

into it's intimate secret space

Pregnant with new life

now torn open, revealed,

violated.

 

Without a thought

so many promises

crushed

and now

discarded.

Posted

There is something savage in the way we consume an apple. It is an interesting perspective. Enjoyed you view Zool.

Posted (edited)

This is very interesting; I liked it a lot, Zool.

 

Shining ripe fruit

offered, like a gift

--Here I'm not quite sure what's happening. Who offers it to you?

 

Snapping skin

crunching flesh

I can hear the sounds with this imagery-- I liked that a lot.

 

juices spatter

The private interior

breached.

I don't know what "the private interior" is... I'm not sure what purpose that line serves, but the juices spattering is very characteristic of my experiences with apples. It's also something I probably wouldn't have thought to include.

 

into it's intimate secret space

Pregnant with new life

now torn open, revealed,

violated.

I agree with Wren; this is extremely sexual imagery and methinks I like the comparison--eating an apple is consuming the reproductive organs of another thing.

 

Generally very strong and I like it a lot! Well played, Zoolio.

 

edit: fixed some quote thingys

Edited by Merelas
Posted

Brilliant poem. I've never thought of the act of eating an apple as a metaphor for anything at all. I like the way you turned such a simple act into something savage and sexual and so much more than just eating an apple. The diction really makes the poem.

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