Guest Phoenix Posted March 5, 2007 Report Posted March 5, 2007 *disappears under mountain of words* i've just realised i've done a lot of writing lately most of it isn't very good, and will never be seen - except maybe in a completely revised form after it stops being so personal and painful, which i guess is what these are. still personal and still painful, some of them, but hopefully not as scattered as they first came out i need to get them out there, and theres too many to post individually, and i dont know if i could deal with criticism for some of them yet. i know they're not very good, but i need to get them out so they stop bouncing around in my head and after i've finished picking away at and posting these, this will probably become my dumping ground feel free to comment, however you like it'll be interesting to see if any of it resonates with anyone except me i don't know if they'll be an issue with these being here, but if there is, then please let me know
Guest Phoenix Posted March 5, 2007 Report Posted March 5, 2007 Hold me closer than your breath Hold me tighter unto death Wrap me in your warm embrace Feel your skin against my face Pull me closer as I drop Breathe as one until we stop Breathe me in as I breathe you Let one form between us two I never want to let you go You seem to feel the same way, so Hold me tighter than your skin Breathe with me, and let me in
Guest Phoenix Posted March 5, 2007 Report Posted March 5, 2007 Berserker my fists hit the wall it bends won't break knuckles burst seams painting the room with their spit again. again fury not spent the universe confined to this space, this place this act of demolition a break appears more of me curls against its edges skin joining the liquid caught in edges that tear i'll leave it there my head holds me back i view the destruction wood, bone, skin, hold my hands behind my back knuckles whole walls one piece too scared to break through the barriers afraid that once opened the floodgates will loose liquid stain all, irretrievable i have worked so hard to build walk away find another vent for my anger frustrated at my weakness my skin stays would around with splinters and festers there
Guest Phoenix Posted March 5, 2007 Report Posted March 5, 2007 Desolation there are no saviours now eternity stretches beyond my reach i hold myself up, aching for a white horse to sweep this sorry form of flesh and blood away none comes there are no flowers on this barren plain pain stretches in all directions beckoning with hungry arms lose yourself in me, it calls... i hold to life, reluctant now when once i ran to oblivion if pain is your all, then all is pain numbness filters everything and everything is filtered through numbness. too scared to run to scared to stay, and scarred i am alone in this desert there is no out, no hope, no surcease there are no saviours now _______________________________ i almost feel this should have a separate posting it took a lot of me in writing but it belongs with these others, so i'll let it stay
Guest Phoenix Posted March 5, 2007 Report Posted March 5, 2007 Mindpsychosis i cry my heart open to the night sky yawning above my head all else is silence, the world sleeps deep in its grave tonight face painted sorrows dance their way across the curtains of my mind my black blank face echoes the night sky, eyes burn starbright i am alone in my madness i, here between the living and the light my hold on world things falters, follow my mind in flight the world is black and white between a million shades of grey details no one sees spring forward as the seventh world rolls in gape wider to the forcefield entry driving through your mind the sound streams out, silhouette-shaded among the stars fingers beckon me onwards as i surge beacon bright open spiralling outwards along my backstream body trails forgotten, grasping after with urgent warning i push onwards, key hunting among the viscous debris all pales in comparison to the visions that visit thus mindflight catapults me onwards into the void my humble home of flesh and blood cannot compete with these burnt casings of spirit molded flesh gasp for breath as my mind separates string-held unconsciousness finally beckons as the world begins to meld _________________________________________ yeah well... *scratches head uncomfortably* thats what insomnia does for you who needs drugs?
Guest Phoenix Posted March 5, 2007 Report Posted March 5, 2007 stare at the ceiling all bemused a spider webs its way across the white mind floats circles lines confused reminiscing bumblebee in flight solitude happy quite content to while away the hours until i move company hinders this event there is always something more to prove thougths flow unbroken slightly bent the world twines its way around my head vibrations linger heaven sent an echo of the words you said
Guest Phoenix Posted March 5, 2007 Report Posted March 5, 2007 Huntress once again i hunt for heartache tread the same steps, blinkered to the well worn path ahead hopeful, yet knowing hope is hopeless holding to moments as all i am worth wrapping my insubstantial ego in words echo hollowly in my head now. blinkers off. there was never hope and i wonder if hope was ever meant for one such as i. life lessons strew my path. purposeless it seems as lesson follows lesson with no end in sight. i mock my self pity with words on a page exulting in the beauty of hindsight. point out mistakes that glare with stupidity, as useless as the actions that led to this. nothing will change until i do, but each change takes me along the same path, through the same mistakes, to the same place, the same face, mirror-worn, watching with mocking eyes,
Guest Phoenix Posted March 5, 2007 Report Posted March 5, 2007 (edited) i hunt myself in the avenues of your skin lonely streets at night the glint off the sun as it sets follow paths set down by some great instinct fingers trail patterns 'cross the length and breadth of you you tremble beneath my fingers uncertainly afraid i soothe you best i can vibrating in rhythm to you uncertain myself, but certain that this and now is always ours and will be as long as memory can retrieve it _____________________ at some stage i named this 'save me' it no longer fits, quite but i think it resonates Edited March 5, 2007 by Phoenix
Guest Phoenix Posted March 5, 2007 Report Posted March 5, 2007 the world is aslant and my preconceptions well moulded slide of the edge like so many lemmings happy to release their hold on this world my head tilts to catch the gleam of sunlight, sparkling off the way things were then straightens with the earths rotation bringing around with it freshness new life the world turns
Guest Phoenix Posted March 5, 2007 Report Posted March 5, 2007 There is no Spoon i hoard dream-spoons. gather them in clinking clusters, run them through my fingers like silver rain. the light glints off the walls, off them making rainbows for my mind to chase. my real spoons are rusty. rarities, that must be hoarded in truth. spent carefully, if at all to buy necessities occasional luxuries a breath of fresh air to fill my mind. like real money, they disappear before you're aware of spending anything. you'd think i'd be better at saving now. but i have it in me always to reach beyond my reach. stretch limits, in the hope that some day one by one dream spoons will become reality. possibly not in such abundance. probably not. my mind works well in this at least. but more than i have now. more today than yesterday. tomorrow than today. spoons do not grow on trees, after all... __________________________________ oh randomness how i love thee this came out of a weblink i was sent it might explain a few things.... http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/2004/11/...poon_theory.php
Guest Phoenix Posted March 5, 2007 Report Posted March 5, 2007 The minutes call my soul to sleep, soft slumber of the hidden deep. The secrets locked within my soul, hold keys to doors outside control. The hand you hold in warm embrace would, lingering, caress your face, but fears the repercussions thus entangled in our hidden trust. A private moment, viewed by none, lest all should at once be undone. This moment curled inside my soul forever now is mine to hold. Unlike this hand. Its soft retreat, in tune to my hearts silent beat, leaves trails across my landscapes’ peace. Your welcome here shall never cease.
Guest Phoenix Posted March 5, 2007 Report Posted March 5, 2007 (edited) SQUish i have been stuck to the ground with a pin. my eight legs wave wildly, and my body twists through insane contortions in my struggle to free myself. strangely, pain is minimal or at least, quite far away - i think the effects of the camphor have yet to wear off - All i can think of is the inaneness of my current position. spreadeagled on the floor. dignity has fled. i lug my pin and board to the door, dragging them on hands and knees, and escape back into my hole to curl for a while away from prying eyes. later, i will work the steel from my flesh. make my limbs, joints, lights, supple and firm once more; but for now i lie in the position that i fell and wave my pride like a flag in the dark. Edited March 5, 2007 by Phoenix
Guest Phoenix Posted March 5, 2007 Report Posted March 5, 2007 I would not wish for you to be anything opposite from that which you are. Pretense. Playing at emotions that flit across your face like mist and belie the lie beneath. I’ll take what I can get, count myself lucky All unknowing of the poisons which base all potions created with my life. Gold-plated the toxins seep through I cannot expect for you to last a lifetime. I will wait 'til the mask breaks. gold peels to dross before your eyes. I do not need your sympathies. for fact it is your imperfections which attract. a darkness echoing my own unfathomed and hidden, still, from view. none knows another completely, Soulmates do not appear for all. count yourself lucky. but do not mistake my Envy for Covetousness there is room in my black heart for all the seven sins
Guest Phoenix Posted March 6, 2007 Report Posted March 6, 2007 (edited) babysteps i watch her wrap her fingers around the keys as if they were something precious, as if they were the baby's fingers that grasp her breast ask her what are you doing? she defers attentions back to others monosyallabic i would not be interested apparently maybe not maybe she is right but i at least would have tried Edited March 6, 2007 by Phoenix
Guest Phoenix Posted March 6, 2007 Report Posted March 6, 2007 strange how my heart bends around words you would have said strange how my fingers curl lie here limp as if I’m dead strange how your eyes twist miss this body by your feet strange how you run on disappear far up the street strange how this body halts hates intrusions on this space strange how my eyes track emotions running ‘cross your face strange how this music soothes and underscores this bizarre day strange how I can close my eyes look to the hills and fly away
Guest Phoenix Posted March 6, 2007 Report Posted March 6, 2007 lose yourself in the moment for a minute then cry Desire and Despair forever linked they never die Dream your dreams' destruction as Delirium laughs Destiny waits for you always at the end of the path Death laughs open-armed and kindly smiles The Endless dream on as eternity dies <3 Neil Gaiman
Wyvern Posted March 12, 2007 Report Posted March 12, 2007 Thank you for sharing these poems here, Pheonix. :-) I definitely felt a lot of pain and frustration reading through them, as well as some hints of anger... I hope that writing these feelings out was a self-theraputic process, and that you've been doing a little better since. There were several passages that stood out and resonated with me, particularly "there is always something more to prove" in the sixth poem and "I mock my self pity with words on a page" in the seventh. The final stanza of the twelfth poem was also a very powerful twist on a familiar image, and "wave my pride like a flag in the dark" was an excellent way to end it. Rough drafts or not, there is certainly some quality stuff in here. Thanks again for sharing, Pheonix. :-) I hope these comments are the sort of thing you were searching for.
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