Quincunx Posted February 27, 2007 Report Posted February 27, 2007 dull gray Plain, yet moving. The end, with the only real description found in the piece, worked well as the only point of interest in the dreary life. I stumble a bit over whether he sees her raised hand or not, though, since I had pictured his head still looking at his feet. Was that intentional? Also, "as one collective body they gave there answer", ought to be "their".
Patrick Posted February 27, 2007 Report Posted February 27, 2007 Great concept of showing the indifference today's world can present. The end made me smile. There were a few typos in the piece, but they did not really stand out. If you want I can make a list and PM it over to you.
Savage Dragon Posted February 27, 2007 Report Posted February 27, 2007 a list of typos would be very helpful, thank you thank you both for the kind words
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