the sliding glass door

[burittodood]

I'm an automatic sliding glass door. I have always been a sliding glass door, and quite frankly, I am a bit bored of being a sliding glass door. I'm a bit bored of sliding back and fourth at the whims of humans. I'm a bit bored of watching people pass me by with out a second thought.

I live and work in the waiting room at Kaiser Permanente medical center. There’s constantly the smell of brewing coffee mingled with that standard hospital waiting room smell. Revolting to say the least. I don’t even get to be an exciting and slightly useful sliding glass door like the emergency room auto doors down the hall or the sturdy and shiny elevator doors across the way from me. At least they have a sense of purpose. I, on the other hand, have been instructed to open for any one from the hours of 6 am to 10 pm to a room that doesn’t even need a door. That’s a 16-hour workday! 16 hours opening and closing for ungrateful sick old buggers. No one says a peep to me. No pleases. No thank-yous. No one even stops to ask the time! Not that I have the time but that’s not the point. It’s the thought that counts.

That’s definitely not the worst. The worst is when the little kiddies decide they’re bored. They decide the kiddy corner isn’t fun. So you know what they do? They come over to me. Do I look like an entertainer to you? No. I'm not. That’s right. But never the less, they approach. I say to my self “I suppose they want out. I ought to open up.” so I do, and I'm not even half way open they take a step back. “I guess not. But I gotta open all the way before I close.” I stay open for a little while after that just in case they change their mind, but who am I kidding? We all know what comes next: I start to close, “almost there, almost there” it’s a futile thought. I have one last centimeter before I'm closed and then another flippen' step forward and we start the process all over again. This can go on for hours at a time, and the mothers have no pity. They’re all too busy thinking “thank god my child is entertained” have you taught your child nothing lady? Does your child know it’s not polite to tease? One of these days I ought to snap one of these children right up. I’d teach them a thing or two about teasing sliding glass doors.

 

Rant ended.

[Quincunx]

That doesn't even begin to cover the smart-alec teenagers who stand in front of you with the God Pose (arms uplifted at the side) and say "Let it be Open!" . . .yes, I enjoyed reading this.

[Appy]

*Appy heartfully seconds the enjoyment in reading*

 

I love different points of view, and this was well written. Welcome

[Wyvern]

Burittodood shifts his feet through the many layers of discarded paperwork surrounding his applicant easychair, trying not to absorb too many details in the untidy Recruiter Office environment. The applicant glances towards the Office's Rolodex clock to check how late the Elder of Initiates is, only to turn his eyes as a slow creaking sound echoes from the opposite end of the room. Burittodood frowns when he turns and finds noone there, noticing only the Office door ever-so-slightly ajar. He concentrates and squints towards the door, trying to see if he can make out anyone next to it, only to jump as the Office window behind him slams open with all the subtlety of an Almost Dragonic Brand Batteringram Alarm Clock™.

 

"Sssorry to keep you waiting." Wyvern tosses a familiar-looking bag of fruit-shaped soot into the Office, then crams his way through the crack in the window, tail first. "I'm sure you'll be pleased to hear that I've marked down the price for those fruits I offered ya. It's now 6 geld for the entire sack, waddaya say?"

 

Burittodood stares down at the Office floor in silence, unresponsive. Wyvern glances down to where the applicant's eyes seem to be focused, and freezes as he notices his own scaly foot planted in the center of the fragile sack. The overgrown lizard curses through his pointy teeth, then extends a claw to Burittodood and gives him a quick handshake.

 

"Anyway, nice to see you here Moon Halo. And apologiesss, I really need to find another way into this Office."

 

Wyvern removes his foot from the crumbled soot fruit sack and glares towards the Office door at the other end of the room. Burittodood raises a brow as the door seems to slowly creak again, moving entirely on its own.

 

"Let'sss see here." Wyvern plucks Burittodood's application story from the tip of his desktop's paperwork pile and begins reading it over. The reptilian Elder raises a claw to his chin and pauses halfway through the story, glancing towards Burittodood and then at the creaking Office door. "Hrmmm. Sliding doors...?"

 

"I knew it!" Woody the Office Door suddenly speaks up, his grainy voice grating through the room. He opens and slams himself shut a few times in excitement. "Moon Halo! I knew the name rang a bell. This guy was a brother in a past life!"

 

Burittodood stares in confusion, lost somewhere between the talking door and the prospect of having once been a talking door.

 

"Don't mind him." Wyvern cocks a claw back at Woody, then waves burittodood's application sheet a few times. "Now lisssten, I normally don't accept Doors Rights Parchments cus' of personal grudgesss, but I think you might be on to something here in terms of a good, hard-working door replacement..."

 

Wyvern goes quiet as he hears Woody mumbling arcane words about Mahogoni Closet in the backgroud. He quickly stamps burittodood's application ACCEPTED before racing back towards the window, shoving his right ring out and getting his tail stuck in the process. The chair that burittodood had previously been sitting on begins to levitate, its legs aiming themselves in the direction of Wyvern's head...

 

;-p

 

OOC: An ACCEPTED application story, burittodood. Welcome to the Mighty Pen! This is a clever piece of writing, and I'm looking forward to seeing more writing from you, as well as to participating with you in creative community events. I hope that you feel welcome here and that you'll enjoy the Pen for a long time to come. :-)