Wyvern Posted February 5, 2007 Report Posted February 5, 2007 Wyvern smooths back the scales on his head as he treads through the Pen's Courtyards, looking over a long checklist that largely consists of alcoholic beverages and ninja pest repellents. The overgrown lizard pauses next to a Japanese Good Fortune Cat garden gnome that has angry eyebrows and pats it on the head. He bites his scaly lip as he accidentally chips one of kitty gnome's ears, then clears his throat loudly and whips out a large megaphone with an almost dragonic skull and crossbones on it. "ATTENTION, Mighty pen!" Wyvern frowns and shakes the megaphone, then peers into its tube and grunts. "COME AnD Participate in the latest (profitable) good deed of the pen. Hrmph, justasec." Wyvern steps next to a frowning dwarf-ish garden gnome holding a mini-spear and sets the mouthpiece of his megaphone on the ornamental weapon's edge. He twists it over the tip, only to bite his lip again as a bit of the spear chips off. "*ahem* THE LATEST GooD Deed of the pen: a recreational facility for the Courtyard's tiny yet devoted population of garden gno-" Wyvern snorts and shakes the megaphone again, then tosses it to the side and rolls up his checklist as a makeshift voice-projector replacement. "Garden gnomes. With all due respect to Asmadeus, who already has his own personal Pen lodgings, I think the garden gnomes of the Pen have grown tired of always hanging around Gwaihir's greenhouse, and could use a lil' recreational facility of their own. It is up to us to help these minature icons feel just as welcome as anyone else at the Pen. I mean, take Flamingo Mack here." Wyvern steps next to what could be a garden gnome ressembling a garden flamingo. He bites his lip again as he notices that his skull and crossbones megaphone had landed right on top of the flamingoid, covering it completely. "*AHEM* Anyway, all of the basics for the recreation facilities have been set in place, so we just need some exotic gadgets and devices to make this little center a regular garden gnome resort! I myssself am offering an Almost Dragonic Brand Garden Gnome Lawnmower Tinkering Table, essential for any true gnome-ish statue." Wyvern waves a claw towards a wide rickety table containing a buzzsaw, a chainsaw, a hacksaw, a seesaw and a piece of paper detailing the Almost Dragonic Brand Garden Gnome Lawnmower Tinkering Table's lack of health insurace. "So come one, come all! Add your own piece to the garden gnome comfort puzzle. All varieties of appliances accepted." ;-) OOC: Roll call is on! Add your own item to the Garden Gnome Recreation Center... your post needn't be long!
Ozymandias Posted February 5, 2007 Report Posted February 5, 2007 *pounds palm on desk* I... am... twenty... bloody... stumping... seven! What... happened... to... the... magical... age... of... eighteen... when... zits... were... supposed... to... dis... appear? WHY... ARE... THESE... STILL... HERE??? ... *adds desk*
Quincunx Posted February 5, 2007 Report Posted February 5, 2007 *boing* *boing* *boing* The rising sun suffers from an unscheduled eclipse: Q, bot of #thepen, paddling itself over the horizon with flicks of its Q tail. Sunlight glints off of boilerplate, then winks out. Steam puffs from rippling venetian-blind-style vents. As Q approaches, the corona around it rises to blinding glare, but the early impressions are that it is A: More spherical than it looks on IRC; B: Also rather larger than it looks on IRC; C: Hopping with unsafe velocity. *boing* *boing* *boing* Q flips its mechanical tail down and digs into the dirt. This makeshift anchor plows up half of the garden before Q grinds to a halt alongside the Garden Gnome Tinkering Table. Two parallel slices flip downwards from the sides of Q, revealing ramps to the table's surface. Winches creak, pulleys squeal, and a pair of oversized titanium rollerblades lower themselves onto the ramp, CAT-5 laces extending up to another pulley. Sparks appear in the door locks, igniting rocket boosters on the back of the skates. *ZOOM* The skates careen down the ramp, onto, over, around, under, down one leg of the table and up another. Sunlight dapples a webcam lens embedded into an axle, then another concealed in an eyelet, then another inserted into the skate's tongue. Meanwhile, Q extends a collapsible construction crane over the table, and the winches whirr again. The winches stop. The rocket boosters run out of fuel. A brake releases. From the end of the construction crane drops a giant whisk-broom, which sweeps the skates into a shoebox that is sliding down the ramps which have been lowered to below the table. All at once, Q's various components fold back into storage, sweeping the box back inside before slamming shut. Anyone who pressed their ear to the unbroken sphere might hear a passionate argument in Gnomish. To be continued. . .because Q does not need any more gnomes fooling with it.
Starlight Posted February 5, 2007 Report Posted February 5, 2007 Starlight walks by the Garden Gnome Recreation Center before the crowds arrive and looks around furtively before planting a life-size Minta statue made of sugar next to the flamingo. Before walking away, he plants a sign next to it saying This sugar-gnome will only diminish if Minta licks it.
Appy Posted February 5, 2007 Report Posted February 5, 2007 Now I only have to add this thingy *click* and then thingy this, *screw* and.. *thingies* .. tadaaa! Appy looks up from her.. thingy and beams I call it.. Stuff. *wanders off again*
Tanuchan Posted February 5, 2007 Report Posted February 5, 2007 (edited) A black wolf pads in, noticing with interest the sudden appearance of the gnome gardens... or would it be garden of gnomes... in that corner of The Pen Keep. She sees the sugary statue next to the flamingo, and sniffs it curiously. Hmmmm.... I wonder what happens if someone else licks this.... She ponders a bit, then decides it is better not to risk attracting Minta's attention in any way. So, after examining the garden and bumping her head on a desk What is a desk doing here?!, she stops by a small pond. After a bit of weaving and pushing at watery threads, Tanny smiles and leaves the garden with a glint of satisfaction. Behind her, the gnomes each have under them a thread of water energy, assuring that they'll remain clean and free of any kind of moss while the pond endures. Edited February 5, 2007 by Tanuchan
The Portrait of Zool Posted February 5, 2007 Report Posted February 5, 2007 As Tanny is leaving a strange sight rounds the corner into the courtyard of the garden gnomes; an enormous sail-like rectangle, appearing to float as it weaves down the trail. Accompanying the entrance is a shrill, agitated voice constantly stammering out directions: "EASY! To-to the right... to the... to the RIGHT - TOO FAR! Look out for the sugar statue!.... LOOK OUT FOR THAT TREE BRANCH!" Finally, after much shouting and contradictory direction, with a groan and tremendous sigh of relief the rectangle settled against the growing pile of garden gadgets, then the cloth is pulled back to reveal The Portrait of Zool, Elder and former Ancient of the Pen is Mightier than the Sword! He is not displaying his usual regal countenance, however, but is sitting in one corner of the giant frame, his face white and covered with a sheen of sweat. He is hyperventilating, his whole body trembling as he holds his head in his hands. "Good GOD I'll be glad when Grimmael comes back from vacation!" he proclaimed. The sack cloth which had been used to cover and protect the full sized standing portrait in transit stirred, and then from underneath came... the rubber chicken. He crawled slowly, haltingly, then collapsed on the grass, his little rubber wings pooped, his little rubber chicken tongue lolling out. "Puk-AAaaaak." After a moments rest, they got to it. The rubber chicken had carried in not only the enormous surly portrait, but also a large and heavy box, which he now opened. Inside the box were a variety of paint brushes of every size, and numerous large paint pots, which the rubber chicken started to unpack. "You sir... Yeah you, gnomie-man! Come and help unpack these paints. Can't you see my friend here is a rubber chicken? Do you expect everything to be done by a rubber chicken?" The garden gnome statue in question looked self consciously from side to side before looking back at Zool, then slowly pointed a chubby finger at himself. "Yes you! Come on and help out! And you three under that brush - I see you - you can help out too!" Slowly the garden gnomes abandoned their defensive positions and began to help out the rubber chicken with the numerous paint pots. "These are wonderful paints," said Gneville Greenleaves, "But we are garden gnomes, not building gnomes or carpenter gnomes. We appreciate it and all, but I'm not quite sure what we will use all this paint for." "Yeah," added Gnadia Mountainwater, "We don't even have as much as a fence to paint - this is a courtyard!" "Nonsense!" replied Zool. "You like these paints precisely because these are the colors of nature. See this green? This will keep the grass a lovely color all year long - you won't even have to water it anymore!" "Are you suggesting we paint the grass green?" asked Gnorbert Deeproots incredulously. "Of course! And look at that pool over there, the water is all sand and clear colored. I have a beautiful blue here that will fix that in a jiff! And then there's the flowers... uh... Hey... What the...?! Where are you taking me? Wait! Rubber Chicken! Help! Heeeelp!" The gnomes had hiked The Portrait of Zool on their shoulders, carried him to the end of the path and unceremoniously threw him out of the courtyard. Zool landed with a portrait-jarring crash and lay inert, face up. The rubber chicken ran up and looked down at him with his best "I told you so" expression. "Oh, shut up," said Zool.
Gwaihir Posted February 5, 2007 Report Posted February 5, 2007 Gwaihir smiles and very gently carries a pot of earth. Fidelia Flower asked to have one of her seeds brought here. She's too settled to emigrate here herself, but she'd like to send a child.
Zadown Posted February 6, 2007 Report Posted February 6, 2007 Zadown sneaks in, mutters something to himself while surveying the various trees in the garden. Finally he nods, stops to wave at Gwaihir, then produces out of thin air a large globe that glows with vibrant green light and hangs it from a sturdy branch. "A magelight, for those darker evenings. Nice, warm glow, neh?" He grins, frowns when he notices the smell of paint, then his face clears and he wanders away, again.
Mynx Posted February 6, 2007 Report Posted February 6, 2007 Panting slightly from the summer heat, Mynx wandered into the area, 'looked' around, and wandered out again. Moments later, the feline returned with what looked to be a rather ornate garden fountain. Setting it up on a small table out of the way, Mynx muttered a charm over the fountain and set up a tray of mugs next to it, along with a note. This fountain will flow with any liquid of your choice, be it hot or cold. Simply announce clearly what you want and fill your cup. Nodding and smiling to herself, Mynx nodded her head to the others she sensed in the room and went on her way, a kitten scampering ahead of her.
reverie Posted February 6, 2007 Report Posted February 6, 2007 (edited) Revery strolls in decked out in an what could best be described as a 19th century accountant's black suit and vest combination sans jacket as Fountain trails behind laboring under the burden of what appears to a massive stack of tax forms and other assorted bits of paperwork. "Just place those on that desk over there Fountain." Fountain with a lurch heaves the pile of form onto the ever-aging desk. Sighing, the dreamlad gives the dreamlost that annoyed "anything else look?" "No, that's all, you can go play in the Garden now, while I make the announcement...yes, go play/mingle, entertain yourself, I've got business to attend to..." With that Fountain scampers off and Revery dons a slick limey-green visor, while setting out an brilliant blue abacus, a shinies-powered calculator, several indigo quills, marbled-wax impression kits, and blotting paper out on the desk. Content with the arrangement the dreamlost hangs a shingle off the front of the desk, and waits expectantly. Dreamlost TAX Advice and Financial Planning: Specialization in Inquisition Audit Defenses, Magics Schools Savings, Anything but Geld Investments, Anti-Scrooge Charms and Potions and Magical Real-Estate Sales and Transfers. Forms of Payment Accepted: Story, Trial, or Shiny. revery the dreamlost "'tis the season" ~someone not me the dream continues... Edited February 6, 2007 by reverie
Peredhil Posted February 6, 2007 Report Posted February 6, 2007 Peredhil's emergence through the shimmering Portal has all the drama and struggle of a child being born. When he finally lays gasping happily, having made it back to the Pen Keep, a Hand reaches through the Portal and snatches him back into Real Life, leaving nought but a lingering Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! behind.
Canid Posted February 6, 2007 Report Posted February 6, 2007 "Garden Gnomes?!" The voice seems to be coming from beneath the earth, muffled by 20 pounds of dirt and two worms. There is the sound of some digging and a conversation becomes increasingly audible. "...ky but you'll be declared a wiener if you don't get them a present." "Tacky is almost an understatement. I swear I can smell plastic..." A nose thrusts itself out of the turf next to Flamingo Mack, who tries to distance himself from the growing hole in the ground, but twangs back into place, held fast by his wire stake. "Definitely plastic. Why do they have to be plastic?" Flamingo Mack crosses his feathered arms, and contorts his rosy smiling beak into as close a thing to resentment as he can manage. Canid hauls herself from the earth, followed closely by a beset upon looking Prospero, the very image of a shot messenger. The two wolves shake in unison, sending bits of grit flying at the faces of several onlooking, scowling garden gnomes. "I won't do it! I will not give presents to plastic garden gnomes!" A nearby cement gnome, painted in somewhat questionable tones of white and purple crosses his arms. "We're not all plastic you know." Canid glares at the gnomes. The gnomes glare at Canid. Prospero nudges two unearthed worms back into the newly vacated hole. Canid suddenly switches to a bright smile. One eye twinkles slightly. "Right. You things need a new friend." Some of the brighter gnomes look slightly worried. The wolf trots around the garden, nose to the ground until she finds a smallish boulder. In front of it she sits and produces hammer and chisel. She holds these up rather awkwardly to the rock, paws slipping repeatedly on the chisel. A yip summons Prospero back to her side, who hesitatingly assists with the wielding of the tools, and flecks begin to be knocked from its surface. The gnomes watch with some interest and some horror as a gnome unlike any other takes shape. It has a rather bull like head, muscular arms and fingers rather than toes on its bare feet. Halfway through its carving it takes the hammer and chisel from the two wolves and finishes the rest of itself off. The completed creature is somewhat gruesome, but definitely a gnome. Canid nods to it. It nods to Canid. The Anti-Gnome pockets the hammer and twirls its chisel meaningfully.
Mardrax Posted February 6, 2007 Report Posted February 6, 2007 (edited) "Gnomes?" A fluttering of robes follows the question. Mardrax, his hair tightly bound back into a braid which hangs down over one shoulder, staggers into the garden. His eyes darkly rimmed, shooting this way and that, as if looking for something. Looking far ahead of him, into the smallest spaces. Under that brush over there. Way up in the top of that tree. In between Flamingo Mack's toes. But never at his own feet. He trips, falls, hits his head into stuff. Standing up, he makes three feeble swipes at his robes to remove the grass on them, then looks forward and repeats the question. "Gnomes? I know gnomes. Wait..." One hand disappears into the pocket it was swiping at. After a few moments of rummaging, it emerges, holding a book. A depiction of a forest gnome - front and back view - fills the entire cover, together with some small scribling saying "Forest gnome, 275 years of age. In the prime of life. True height (without up): 15 cm.", amongst other bits of trivia about the gnome. In large, swirling letters, the word "Gnomes" lines the top of the page. "by Rien Poortvliet." He puts it down on the thingies and staggers away again, mumbling something like: "...everything you've always wanted to know. And more." Edited February 6, 2007 by Mardrax
cryptomancer Posted February 6, 2007 Report Posted February 6, 2007 The Raven glides lazily into the garden and lands at the fountain that Mynx set up. The quizzical look ending in the queried tone of the word “absinthe?” Cryptomancer sits sipping the mug of absinthe, enjoying the tranquil noise and bustle of the garden, and carving runes in the cover of a dictionary. Placing the dictionary on the desk the rune mage opens it to the middle, inscribes a final rune in the air above it and watches as the words take shape and float into a small cloud above the book’s fluttering pages. Then gently picking words from the air , the Cryptomancer arranges them into a short phrase. And lets the new arrangement float just below the cloud, “for my Muse”. Sitting back down on the grass, Cryptomancer watches the cloud of words float, and as he sips the absinthe, continues to randomly select and arrange the words into short verses of strange and interesting poetry.
ryurei Posted February 6, 2007 Report Posted February 6, 2007 (edited) Ryu wanders in to the Pen courtyard with Keiko close behind. They pause a moment and with a confused look try to figure out where all the gnomes came from. With a shrug they examine the objects and services left by previous members only to wonder at the odd collection of things gathered. “I wonder where the items are going to go after this is over?” Ryu muttered as Keiko frowned at him. “probably into the pockets of that…..” he trailed off as Keiko put a hand into her ribbon pocket. “Ah…. I mean… What should we leave Keiko???” “Maybe we could start with a new attitude???” Keiko asked pointedly with a sweet look on her face. “Yes! a great start!” Ryu said with a forced smile as he sweated bullets. “Hey I know what we can leave!” Ryu said as he started to dig through his pockets for some string. “What are you thinking of??” Keiko asked as she crossed her arms. With a true smile Ryu pulled out the string he found and tied the ends together. and started to chant, “ Genkaku jitsugen suru no ho ni ano sora” he sat it down the now stiff string and walked away with Keiko to try the fountain and see how well it did at making Sake. A small child with pale skin and white hair floats up to the string and looks at it quizzically. Her ice blue eyes look it over several times as she floats there. As realization of what was left dawns on her she smiles and giggles. “Only he wouldn’t think of leaving an explanation!” she states with a light voice. A second voice sounding as if it came from the abyss was heard saying, “Well his mind is often on her lately thanks to you.” “Well, Taura, I think our contribution should be an explanation what do you think.?” The girl asked to the voice. “I think we should just leave after trashing it but if you insist, Aura, I can’t stop you right now,” Taura answered angrily. Aura smiled broadly as she decided how best to explain it. With a wave of her hand over the air in front of the string glowing words appeared: With a thought your desires will take shape within the circle. They shall be as solid objects to do what you wish till the setting sun. Then they shall return to their native state. Edited February 6, 2007 by mai takekaze
Gyrfalcon Posted February 7, 2007 Report Posted February 7, 2007 Daryl grins as he scampers through the garden of garden gnomes, dodging and weaving between Pennite legs and sliding into 'safety' behind the rickety bench of dangerous tools Wyvern set up. Glancing around furtively, Daryl opened up Gyr's Bag of Holding that the werefox had 'borrowed' and started pulling out statues and setting them in various spots around the garden. Grinning to himself, Daryl trotted away leaving the garden even more crowded... now it has an infestation of Garden Foxes.
Ayshela Posted February 8, 2007 Report Posted February 8, 2007 Kaitlyn wandered through the garden with a slightly concerned look at the growing population of garden gnomes. Some of them seemed to have lost their hats, and some were a little off-balance - almost as if they'd been caught out too late after a party and turned to stone where they wobbled. With a sudden gleam of excitement Kaitlyn ran to her room and came back dragging her lawn chair and clutching a small bag. Within moments she'd affixed lopsided bows of varying colours to each non-fox gnome without a hat. (No one ever quite figured out how she managed it, either.) The one particularly wobbly gnome had been gently pushed over to recline in her lawn chair - comfort level most definitely questionable. Kaitlyn surveyed her handiwork and skipped off, humming happily, searching for Ayshela.
Gryphon Posted February 8, 2007 Report Posted February 8, 2007 There is a crackling sound and a flash of electrical discharge followed by a thud as a stressed bedraggled looking Gryphon crashes to the ground amidst the welter of items being left by various Pennites. With a groan Gryphon pulls himself painfully to his feet and begins to slowly walk around trying to decide what he should contribute. Shortly thereafter there was a startled squawk as the poor bewildered Gryphon stumbled into a fresh work-wormhole and disappeared leaving a few stray feathers floating to the ground.
Ran Yoko Posted February 8, 2007 Report Posted February 8, 2007 Seras walked into the garden and looked at all the gnomes, and then at all the things left behind by the other members. "Sorry," she said in her monotone. "I don't have much." A thought occured to her. She dug in the pocket of her coat, and pulled out a single silver bullet. She walked to the middle of the garden and set it down in the dirt. "I can't leave you my guns, I need them," she said. "But this will protect you from any werewolves." She turned and left, leaving behind several puzzled gnomes.
Asmadeus Posted February 9, 2007 Report Posted February 9, 2007 (edited) A Gnomie enters the Garden Gnome Recreation Center, takes a look around to see what is here, and quickly gets angry : "How DARE you calling this place a GNOME garden ? I don't see anything made for gnomes ! It's all still a few inches too big !" He glances at the statue, desk, bullet... "Look, that statue is 2.145 inches too high, the desk 1.68, and that bullet could be used as a chair !" He pulls out some kind of shovel and digs into the candy. Or try to, at least : it didn't even scratch it. He decides to leap it, and it tasted quite good, so he didn't comment about it. He keeps trying every single stuff, moaning about everything, and once he is done with the whole lot he pulls out a TOOLBOX out of nowhere and adds it. He nods : "THAT was the missing thing ! No gear, metal bit, rod, nothing ! And it's not even messy !" He throws some broken contraptions on the ground... "Way better now." He turns back and leave the garden, happy of what he has done. Edited February 9, 2007 by Asmadeus
Katzaniel Posted February 9, 2007 Report Posted February 9, 2007 If it makes you feel better, Ozy, I'm 23 and mine don't seem to be going anywhere either. And... hm... a slide. There ya go little guys. PS. What's that about this being optional now?
WrenWind Posted February 10, 2007 Report Posted February 10, 2007 Wren wanders around the garden in deep though twirling her fingers through her curls then came the perfect thought ... she conjurs up wigs for each of the garden gnomes plopping them on the gnomes absentmindedly leaving in her wake a garden full of mini "cousin it" look alikes.
Xaious, Master of Time Posted February 10, 2007 Report Posted February 10, 2007 Nickoli wanders near the garden, fiddles in his pocket, and plants an old battered pocketwatch on a chain around the neck of a gnome. Smiling beneath the cowl, he walks away.
Alisha Readman Posted February 14, 2007 Report Posted February 14, 2007 Ninja Minion walked into the Pen Keep, carrying a huge platter of sushi, with a kotatsu strapped to her back. She set the platter on a nearby desk, then removed the kotatsu, setting it on the ground. Plunking the platter down on the kotatsu, she straightened up, brushing her hands together. Reaching into the sleeve of her black kimono, she pulled out a sheet of paper and a bullhorn. She cleared her throat and began to slowly read the note, speaking through the bullhorn. "*ahem* To our friends the garden gnomes, myself, Ran Yoko, and all of the Mystics have decided to buy you some deluxe sushi. We hope you en-en. . ." Ninja Minion's voice trailed off as she tried to read the author's handwriting. She finally just crumpled up the paper and tossed it over her shoulder. "Since when do they have money to buy deluxe sushi?" she muttered. "Okay, gnomes. The stupid author and the Mystics were too busy brainstorming over the first chapter after they made the sushi, so they made me bring it. I also got something for you." She reached into her sleeve again and withdrew a small Buddha statue and a bottle labeled "Poison Antidote". "Kagero sent the antidote," she said, setting the two objects on the kotatsu. She clapped her hands together twice and bowed before the Buddha statue. "May their souls rest in peace." Ninja Minion then vanished in her smokescreen, leaving behind very nervous gnomes.
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