How to make me

[Zadown]

take a man

gut him

and pour acid of anxiety inside

let the flesh burn into ulcers

 

when he relaxes

leans back into the inevitable

surrenders

 

whip him with ice and snow

pelt with hail

 

and kick, once

for good measure

[Wyvern]

Ouch. I really like this poem, Zadown. From the visceral opening to the extra-sadistic close, it definitely packs a sting. I like the slanted rhyme that connects the last lines of the second and fourth stanzas, as it seemed to tie together the whole torture metaphor well. I also like your use of violent verbs throughout, with "gut" and "whip" standing out to me in particular.

 

Anyway, cool stuff. Thanks for sharing it.

[Appy]

yesss

 

*wanders off again*

[Gwaihir]

Very expressive.

 

Am I allowed to add "take care of yourself!"?

 

-Gwai