And Now, Wyvern with the Spam Report

[Wyvern]

The cameras pan around the Mighty Pen HQ newsroom as an off-key news broadcast melody cues up in the background. The visuals swerve, then focus on Wyvern sitting at the news reporter desk, picking at his snout with a claw. The overgrown lizard tilts his head as he notices the cameras, then quickly removes the claw from his nostrils and wipes the ash on his sleeve.

 

"And now, this ssspecial report." Wyvern ignores the sound of Kassie's insane laughter in the background and clears his throat. "Many of those new to the Pen have been confused about the current process of validation. After regissstering an account here, it can currently take a few days before that account is validated and available for posting. Today, we'd like to dispell the rumors of almost dragonic pre-validation extortion and give you the cold, jiggly truth."

 

Wyvern tilts a claw in the direction of Bob, and a boxed image of a can of spam appears at Wyvern's side.

 

"The reason that accountsss must currently be validated by admins before they're available for posting isss due to a new internet phenomenon: message board spam botsss. These tiny mechanical entities, often set in motion via remote control, have been plaguing all types of message boardsss with truckloads of tasteless, non-Almost Dragonic advertisementsss. In the current validation process, the Elders of the Pen go through the accounts that have recently been registered and delete those that are obviously spam botsss. This keeps the Pen clean of spam, though there can be a waiting period of a few days before a legitimate registered account is available for posting. We hope that this measure will only be temporary, and extend our apologies to the newly registered for the validation waiting period."

 

Wyvern ignores Kassie as she runs across the studio in the background with an unknotted straightjacket flailing in one hand.

 

"To those who have newly registered here, pleassse be patient and don't become discouraged. We really appreciate your interest in the Pen and will validate your account shortly! And to those droning spam botsss with their bleeps and their "one-time-only-offers": get lossst before I decide to cram you into cans and sell you as Almost Dragonic Brand Metallic Tofu™! This is Wyvern Q. Almostdragon, signing ou-"

 

A camera crashes over and the visuals turn to static. Cue crazed Kassie laughter...

[Appy]

Can't this information be put upon the login page? Just in case there are those people who don't read the news y'know.. it'll happen, once every hundred years you can depend upon it! **giggles madly and bounces off*