For the birds

[Mardrax]

Small birds,

such lovely creatures,

such strong flyers,

such powerful singers,

so easily crushed and mangled.

 

This one here,

sitting easily in my palm,

so certain, so calm,

an admirer's gift; more of an alm?

Will it stay near?

Will I crush it, trying to hold on?

Will I scare it, playing Don Juan?

Will it ever long to die,

along its friends in the sky?

Will I ever know

if I never try?

Edited September 7, 2006 by Mardrax

[Wyvern]

Interesting poem, Mardrax. My favorite part of it was the first stanza, as the way you switched up the tone with the line about crushing and mangling was a very nice twist. The rhyme scheme and structure of the second stanza were also very well thought out, though there were points where it seemed like certain words were only being used to fit the rhyme scheme of the poem, which felt a bit awkward. The allusion to Don Juan confused me... do birds have some significance in the tale of Don Juan? It's possible that birds were intended as sort of metaphor for women, though the Don Juan reference is the only part of the poem that would suggest it at this point.

 

Anyway, interesting stuff once again, Mardrax. :-) Thanks for sharing it.

[reverie]

don juan reference could be an allusion to ancient bird/sex poem of Catullus (84? B.C.–54? B.C.)

 

http://rudy.negenborn.net/catullus/text2/e2.htm

 

Lesbia’s Sparrow (Poem 2)

 

Sparrow, favorite of my girl,

with whom she is accustomed to play, whom she is accustomed to hold in her lap,

for whom, seeking greedily, she is accustomed to give her index finger

and to provoke sharp bites.

When it is pleasing for my shining desire

to make some kind of joke

and a relief of her grief.

I believe, so that her heavy passion may become quiet.

If only I were able to play with you yourself, and

to lighten the sad cares of your mind.

 

(2b)

 

It is as pleasing to me as they say

The golden apple to have been to that swift girl,

Which untied that long-bound girdle.

 

(Poem 3)

 

Mourn, oh Cupids and Venuses,

and whatever there is of rather pleasing men:

the sparrow of my girlfriend has died,

the sparrow, delight of my girl,

whom she loved more than her own eyes.

For it was honey-sweet and it had known its

mistress as well as a girl knew her mother,

nor did it move itself from her lap,

but jumping around now here now there

he used to chirp continually to his mistress alone:

who now goes through that gloomy journey

from whence they denied anyone returns.

But may it go badly for you, bad darkness

of Orcus, you who devour all beautiful things:

and so beautiful a bird you taken away from me

o bad deed! o miserable sparrow!

Now on account of your work my girl's

slightly swollen little eyes are red from weeping.

Edited September 29, 2006 by reverie

[Mardrax]

It could be. That thought is at least something to hold on to, because mostly, it IS better to have a bird in the hand, even though the bird you're looking for might still be in the bush -or, like that proverbial bush translates into Dutch: in the sky-

I'll give you a few more birds to hold on to though.

 

Does the bird grant you its presence because it wants to be with you, or because you need the company? Out of admiration, out of pity, out of something else?

If you'd try to seduce that bird into staying, into coming closer, would that work? In any case?

 

Metaphores and proverbs go hand in hand, and will turn up at alot more corners you pass than those where you will be looking for them. I try to avoid them like the plague, try to chase them off, but sometimes they just won't listen

[Cerulean]

Hey Mardrax,

 

This poem has been poking away at the corner of my subconscious for days now. There was something about your juxtaposition of images that really struck me. Like Wyv I was taken by the unexpected twist, but rev's replies and your responses to them gave me a half memory of another piece I'd seen a while ago. Finally today, rereading your thread, I've remembered what it evokes for me - it's a short story by Oscar Wilde called The Nightingale and the Rose. I love it when one work leads me to another. Thanks for both your thoughts and the thoughts that spiralled from them.

 

Best wishes, and sorry for rambling, C.

[Mardrax]

Rambling is good in a way, as within every ramble are bound to be the words meant to say, wether or not literally so.

Thanks for the ramble Cerulean, and the thoughts are gladly given