WrenWind Posted July 29, 2006 Report Posted July 29, 2006 (edited) Going slowly crazy Not sleeping Vision gone hazy Can't focus Mind drifting lazy Easily distracted A bee on a daisy Butterfly gone A river called Chazy Floating slowly A woman in paisley Eats apple pie Everything is hazy No sleep Drives you crazy Edited July 30, 2006 by WrenWind
reverie Posted July 30, 2006 Report Posted July 30, 2006 I think you created your own repeating form here. Neat. On a personal note, I'm attempting to adjust my own sleep schedule because of my new job at UPS. I use NyQuil. It works, so long as you don't take too much. Otherwise, you'll oversleep and end up being late for work. rev...
Sweetcherrie Posted July 30, 2006 Report Posted July 30, 2006 How about warm milk instead of chemicals? Like the poem, especially how you ended it on three lines instead of four
reverie Posted July 31, 2006 Report Posted July 31, 2006 not a big fan of milk. I like soy milk though. Wonder if soy warm milk would work too.
Regel Posted July 31, 2006 Report Posted July 31, 2006 (edited) Intoxicating, that's what sleep deprivation does. It is intoxicating and it's effects are clearly show in your poem. A river called Chazy Floating slowly A woman in paisley Eats apple pie Put's me in mind of an old Beatle song. Can you guess which one? It goes Picture yourself in a boat on a river, With tangerine trees and marmalade skies Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly, A girl with kaleidoscope eyes. Both are heavily image laden works brought about by altered states of conciousness. Going slowly crazy Not sleeping Vision gone hazy Can't focus Sleep deprivation is a serious problem; people do go crazy, the inability to concentration and irritability. No wonder it was used as a brain washing technique. Your health is at risk here. If you can't resolve this sleepless state your in on your own, seek help. Edited July 31, 2006 by Regel
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