Tasslehoff Posted June 30, 2006 Report Posted June 30, 2006 To be able to kiss your lips, Feeling the passion passing back & forth. To be able to hold you in my arms, Feeling as if the world has stopped turning. To be able to look in your eyes, Feeling nothing but the connection between our hearts. To be able to whisper in your ear, Feeling the goose bumps on your neck as I tell you I love you. To be able to call you mine, Feeling as if Ive finally found the other half of me.
Wyvern Posted July 15, 2006 Report Posted July 15, 2006 Nice poem, Tasslehof. :-) I especially liked the line about the goose bumps that form on the neck of the loved one, as it almost suggested something less than positive and seemed to add another dimension to the piece. The impressions that you detail here are nicely done for the most part, though the statement in the last line felt less genuine to me and struck me as a bit of a cliché. I think that dropping this line and ending the poem with a line that is more connected to the details of the specific relationship that the poem presents would give it a more powerful close. Always nice to read a new poem from you, Tass. :-) Thanks for sharing this here.
Recommended Posts