Appy Posted May 28, 2006 Report Posted May 28, 2006 One stands dark and one stands light. They are the focus of each plight. One sees peril, one sees hope. How are you supposed to cope? One stands left and one stands right In the middle you find might. Leverkusen, 28th of May 2006, 3:46am ~ Not meant to sound so angsty, I had this small spurt of inspiration while watching the new red glassed lanterns I bought today. One was already burned down, the other still alight. It seemed a nice metaphore for all the choices we have to make in life.. of course this was highly influenced by us (my hubby and me) playing Knights of the Old Republic. Star Wars fans will know what I talk about here. I'm having trouble finding a title though... Found one.. the subtitle was suggested by my husband (Plus being the supermarket where I got those laterns) ~
Sweetcherrie Posted May 28, 2006 Report Posted May 28, 2006 (edited) Hmm… *goes to make cappuccino while going over this again in her head* You know.. *returns with cappuccino in her hands* Pretty cool that two lamps can give you this, inspiration is all around us, and I’m glad one of its waves managed to grab you You’ve captured Yin and Yang very effectively with these simple words, and how you look at it with different angles before deciding that the middle should be the right way to go, is done pretty well. One possible suggestion, but mainly something that makes sense in my head, is to try and change the order of the second stanza. Erm…let me try and explain why. In the first stanza you let us look at the dark before looking at the light. As if you’re looking at a line-up…first comes dark, and after dark you get light. In the second stanza you repeat this, first dark and then light (peril and hope). And then in the third you switch to the middle way, because to have someone or something standing at your left and your right, you need to be in the middle. It could possibly be nice to change to point of view in the second stanza, as if you’ve walked around the situation and are now looking at it from a different side, first light then dark. Not only gives this the other side, but it also builds towards hopefulness, because you first see what’s right and not until later you take a look at what can go wrong. Not sure how much you would have to throw the words around to achieve this, but it’s only a suggestion. *breathes* Right, quite a bit of dissecting for one cup of cappuccino *finally takes a sip and notices that it is cold* Oh well, either way, I really like this and the images it gave me were not those of lights, but those of whole world of right and wrong. Thanks Edited May 28, 2006 by Sweetcherrie
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