Strains

[Finnius]

I am covered in sound -

In audible distractions,

In musical frustrations,

In fractious speech,

In sorrowful silence.

 

And this noise is layered -

Has wonderful depth,

Has blissful tonality,

Has perfect pitch,

Has no meaning.

 

It is just an echo -

A repeated disonance,

A harsh reminder,

An evil face,

A hollow refrain.

 

And as I sink deeper -

I hear my heartbeat,

I see my chest rise,

I know my own tempo,

I feel my own truth.

 

That the world is covered -

In light facing the sun,

In darkness facing the moon,

With meaning in silence,

But always with sound.

 

The world is covered in sound,

But there is only one sound.

The world has no greater meaning,

Than the song you play it,

Than the sound you give it.

 

~~~

 

Yeah, I have no idea where that came from.

 

Edit: Also, I somehow managed to misspell my subtitle. Eesh.

Edited May 20, 2006 by Patrick

[Tanuchan]

I love this.

 

It brings images and sounds to my mind when I read it, and it conveys some fuzzy feelings - but that ring very close to me. Nothing I can really put in words, but they are there, and they are touching.

 

Thank you for sharing, Finnius. And I hope you have more of these sudden, mysteryous inspirations. I think they're usually the best ones.

 

*hug*

 

~Tanny

Edited May 20, 2006 by Tanuchan

[Izabella]

Is this a hint? Am I THAT loud? -sob-

 

 

All kidding aside, it was really beuatiful. You should really collect all these and submit for publication, Bean.

[Dros]

Being a musician myself (not saying that I should be the only one who could feel this way) I can relate. The sounds brought imagery to mind and it painted a sorrowful, but beautiful picture as well. Very Very Very nice!

[Katzaniel]

I, too, really enjoyed this piece. It's strongly expressed, and the words as you used them set up both an interesting topic and a perfect mood for that topic. Using the sounds of words to set the mood is difficult, but you did it well.

 

My only real quibble was the line "An evil face", which was different from the rest of the lines in that stanza - indeed, the rest of the poem up to that point - and thus threw off the pattern and in my opinion acted as a distraction. It refers to a concrete object. The shortness of the word may also have played a part, but I think not as much as the former reason. Anyway, I'm guessing that this was unintentional, since you had that line buried inside of a stanza, and also returned to your pattern for the next one.

 

A top-rate poem, Finnius. Thanks for posting.

[Finnius]

*nodnod*

 

Actually, I was thinking that too until I looked back over it. (And really, I'm serious, sometimes I have no idea where this stuff comes from.)

 

But then I realized face doesn't actually refer to a person's face, but to FACE, the memory tool taught to a lot of beginning musicians. (And also that a lot of the time, learning that kind of stuff leaves you less interested, or at least did for me. I'd rather think of it as notes than as a face.) Anyway, F,A,C,E are the open spaces on a musical staff. It's a coincident that it can be read that way, and I like to think a nice double image. The loss of beat was just a happy accident.

 

Hope that helps with the clearing-upping, anyway.

Edited May 20, 2006 by Finnius