Dros Posted May 14, 2006 Report Posted May 14, 2006 The floating irridescence of a midnight dream, Still lingers in the once imaginative thoughts Of a child, lost, hoping to one day find the life Of the Fairytale fantasy, that hath withered into nothing. But vague memories and nightmares, Consuming all of the "signs" that might lead the way To her childhood forgotten. And remember once again, why the Old Lady called it ...Neverland...
Wyvern Posted May 14, 2006 Report Posted May 14, 2006 Nice poem, Dros. :-) The nostalgic approach to "Peter Pan" is interesting, and I like how you connect it to the theme of forgotten childhood near the end. I also liked the sense of the unattainable that the last two lines of the poem seem to communicate, and thought that the word "Neverland" was well-placed there. The one instance of language that felt out of place to me was "hath withered" in the fourth line, which felt like a different voice and tone than the rest of the poem. It would be interesting to hear a musical adaptation of this, as the freeform structure of the lines doesn't strike me as particularly musical or rhythmic. Out of curiousity, are you considering rewriting this to fit a musical setting, or are you thinking of putting these exact words to music? I'd be interested to hear the results, either way. Nice stuff, once again. Thanks for sharing it here. :-)
Dros Posted May 14, 2006 Author Report Posted May 14, 2006 Nice poem, Dros. :-) The nostalgic approach to "Peter Pan" is interesting, and I like how you connect it to the theme of forgotten childhood near the end. I also liked the sense of the unattainable that the last two lines of the poem seem to communicate, and thought that the word "Neverland" was well-placed there. The one instance of language that felt out of place to me was "hath withered" in the fourth line, which felt like a different voice and tone than the rest of the poem. It would be interesting to hear a musical adaptation of this, as the freeform structure of the lines doesn't strike me as particularly musical or rhythmic. Out of curiousity, are you considering rewriting this to fit a musical setting, or are you thinking of putting these exact words to music? I'd be interested to hear the results, either way. Nice stuff, once again. Thanks for sharing it here. :-) Thank you! I was thinking about making an acoustic track for this piece. Not using the exact words, as you said, it isn't too rhythmic or musical as is. I think I'll make it more of an Epic Ballad than anything. Just something I can listen to put me to sleep. Afterall, this was inspired by my Grandmother, hence "The Old Lady." Thanks again Wyvern. *tacklehugs*
Zepheri Posted May 14, 2006 Report Posted May 14, 2006 I really like this poem. It grabs ones attention with the first line "The floating irridescence of a midnight dream" That sounds so beautiful. I would also like to hear it with music. It would be nice if The Pen were able to have that on here. Then you really could share it with us. But this works just fine.
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