Dros Posted May 9, 2006 Report Posted May 9, 2006 She whispers sweet nothings in his ear, but all he understand is pain. She tells him that he has nothing to fear, because she'll always be right here. How can he feel so alone, when she's always by his side? This is a tale of a broken heart. The one he hides behind. She reads the words of an unmarked grave, the red rose on the stone in a bloody rave. The silent tear falls from her face, knowing that he's in a better place. She wishes he was back to render her speechless. But if he did come back...What wouldn't she say? This is the tale of a broken heart... The one that took him today.
Ayshela Posted May 9, 2006 Report Posted May 9, 2006 wow. She whispers sweet nothings in his ear, but all he understand is pain. I know too many people this fits too well. the red rose on the stone in a bloody rave. this line is a bit obscure. You'll probably lose several readers there. She wishes he was back to render her speechless. But if he did come back...What wouldn't she say? nice. it'll take me a bit to untangle the thoughts on this one, but - nice... nicely done. always a sad topic, but gracefully handled.
Sweetcherrie Posted May 9, 2006 Report Posted May 9, 2006 really nice, and the story it tells is sad, but indeed well handled. How can he feel so alone, when she's always by his side? The lines I like best I think. Still somehow it feels as if the story is interupted, as if there is a gap between the two. On one hand I like this because it lets the reader fill it in with his/her own thoughts, on the other hand...what did happen to him? An interesting poem all in all. Welcome at the Pen, and thank you for sharing this with us.
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