sea vegetable Posted May 2, 2006 Report Posted May 2, 2006 TRUCE Pulling you Into me We Curved like shells Sleep Forgive now The arrowed words My purple rage The morning silences Us With one raw kiss.
madhatter Posted May 3, 2006 Report Posted May 3, 2006 (edited) I liked this one I'd also like to welcome to the Pen and I hope that you have a pleasant stay I'm loving how you've already submitted so many works.. definitely keep it up The only thing I have to say to help you would be that I think the title is a little too weak for such a passionate and powerful poem. Also, what meter/rhyme are you using, or are you going for a sort-of freestyle? Edited May 3, 2006 by madhatter
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