Orc and Pie: OOC

[Quincunx]

System borrowed wholesale from TamerBill of Giant in the Playground forums. After this experiment runs its course, I'll link back to the campaign which he runs on those boards. Could've linked now but ran out of skill points for Crush Metagaming: Superb +3, so we're on the honor system for now.

 

Welcome to Play-by-Post International Airport, Concourse A. Do not leave the rules unattended. Unattended rules will be confiscated and impounded. Thank you for your cooperation.

 

(speakers whine)

The time is Three Fifty Two Pee Em. The airport chapel is located in Concourse B, next to DaVinci's Experimental Bakery. (feedback) Enter your character sheets into the chapel raffle for a chance to win two extra skill points. Hurry hurry!

 

Play-by-Post International Airport is pleased to announce that the new Concourse A will be summoned into existence in two weeks, one day, and eighteen hours precisely. The existing Concourse A and everyone within it will be returned to the primordial chaos. Play-by-Post International Airport will not be held liable for anyone without a spare character sheet. Thank you for your cooperation.

 

Betty Garble

Half-Orc PA-System Operator

 

Strength: Fair

Dexterity: Good (1 point)

Constitution: Fair

Wisdom: Fair

Intelligence: Great (2 points)

Charisma: Fair

 

Betty has failed six Cheerleader of Patina tryouts in the last ten years (she was barred for four years after failing to set her clock forward for daylight savings time, and showing up one hour ahead of her scheduled slot), and really is getting too old for that sort of thing. Not that they'd ever let a half-orc in the squad, as the county doesn't issue citizen cards to half-orcs. In between tryouts, she maintains half of the family business: she fulfills demands for clear communication, while her brother Gurgle creates that demand...

 

Craft (Makeup Application): Mediocre -1 (1 point)

Craft (Pompons): Mediocre -1 (1 point)

Ignore Tumbling Damage and Other Blunt Trauma: Superb +3 (5 points)

Innate Sense of Time: Mediocre -1 (1 point)

Innate Sense of Snacktime: Great +2 (4 points)

Illusion (Noises into Other Noises): Great +2 (3 points with specialization)

Knowledge (Plot): Great +2 (4 points)

Knowledge (PA Systems): Good +1 (3 points)

Knowledge (Tax Law Loopholes): Good +1 (3 points)

Lift Heavy Things Like PA Speakers and Other Cheerleaders: Great +2 (4 points)

Perky yet Soothing Voice: Good +1 (3 points)

Profession (Airport Nurse): Good +1 (3 points)

Prayer to Patina: Great +2 (4 points)

Transmutation (Speaker Squawks into Intelligible Speech): Great +2 (3 points with specialization)

Tumble in a Short Pleated Skirt: Fair 0 (2 points)

 

Owns: neat coils of speaker wire, digital watch with cracked face (but it still works, why throw it away?), makeup kit, makeup paddle, airport med kit, cheerleading manual, portable PA system, five blank long-form Form 1040s*, vouchers for travel on Corsair Air, black ballpoint pens.

 

*the standard U.S. tax form. We're not THAT international yet at Play-by-Post International Airport.

Edited April 17, 2006 by Quincunx

[Sweetcherrie]

Shanai

 

Elf, 4 feet tall, brown golden hair, and green eyes.

 

Shanai is a household elf and will not be seen too often without a cloth in her hands, and most of the times she’s polishing something…or someone. She loves doing this, and although she’s fairly young (only like 117 years old) she will attempt to mother over everybody. She’s a very promising household elf, and will probably graduate as top of her class. Oh…she loves singing…unfortunately.

 

Strength: Fair

Dexterity: Fair

Constitution: Good (1 point)

Wisdom: Good (1 point)

Intelligence: Fair

Charisma: Good (1 point)

 

Skills:

- Cleaning – Superb (5 points)

- Walking past a dirty spot without stopping (in case of emergency) – Mediocre (1 point)

- Bouncing – Great (4 points)

- Enchantment (Getting rid of door to door salesmen) – Good (3 points)

- Enchantment (Making people clean their own things) – Fair (2 points)

- Singing – Mediocre (1 point)

- Sewing – Great (4 points)

- General Cooking things from Scrap – Superb (5 points)

- Kiss and make better (well a bit at least) – Superb (5 points)

- Shoo birds away (or people) (especially handy in vegetable gardens) – Great (4 points)

- Hunting dust bunnies (also works when hunting real bunnies at times) – Great (4 points)

- Craft (egg warmers) – Great (4 points)

 

Owns:

A broom, a bucket filled with cleaning stuff (cloth, sponge, several sorts of scouring cream, window spray, etc), a flint stone to make fire for cooking anywhere and everywhere, a herbal pouch with a range of herbs, and a small med kit with plasters with funky pictures on them.

 

Something like this?

 

Edit: Changed according to Quincunx's post. (I can't count)

Edited April 18, 2006 by Sweetcherrie

[Falcon2001]

Kael the Beautiful Mage

 

Strength: Mediocre (-1)

Dexterity: Fair

Constitution: Mediocre(-1)

Intelligence: Superb (+3)

Wisdom: Mediocre (-1)

Charisma: Superb (+3)

 

Skills: (9 Used)

Fashion (Superb, +5)

Rapiers (Great, +4)

Diplomacy (Superb, +5)

Comedy (Fair, +2)

Knowledge (Arcane) (Superb, +5)

 

Magic: (25 used)

Conjuration (Superb, +5)

Transmutation (Superb, +5)

Illusion (Superb, +5)

Abjuration (Superb, +5)

Enchantment (Superb, +5)

 

Kael was born to a pair of fairly homely, but successful parents in a large city (The city wasn't nearly pretty enough to warrant remembering.) They recognized his talent for magecraft at a young age and sent him off to Wizard School, where he quickly realized he was FAR prettier than anyone else there. Even though he had to suffer through living in such a homely environment, he did very well in school as long as he could relate his magic to fashion and beauty.

 

He has matured over the years, eventually realizing that not everyone cares how pretty he is. However, he still doesn't care, so it's anyone's guess how much he really grew.

 

Kael is a human who maintains a clean-shaven look. (So as differentiate himself from the animals.) He has quite striking and pronounced features, with an elegant chin, strong cheekbones, and a perfect complexion. His blonde hair is kept short and extremely well-kept in the modern style (oh, but you MUST have heard what the modern style is). He is in moderately good shape and spends a fair bit of time primping himself. He wears mostly reds and other strong, elegant colors.

Edited April 22, 2006 by Falcon2001

[Quincunx]

The time is Three Fifty Five Pee Em. Errata nailed to the door of the airport chapel (speaker feedback, several seconds' worth) in the nearest waste disposal bin. Have a nice day.

 

Magic:

 

Hands up who thinks Hicchup was too effective in that fight? Yeah, I thought so. I keep forgetting to apply the -1 penalty for each consecutive spell, so Hicchup effectively had infinite MP. That won't be happening again (much).

should be part of the Rules.

 

Skill Specialization:

 

Skill specialization costs only decrease the cost of magic skills.

 

Sweetcherrie: Your Craft (egg-warmers) Superb would cost five points. I'd recommend just lowering it to Great, because your sheet is otherwise balanced.

 

Falcon: Your skills are tabbed up correctly. I got an amendment that starting characters aren't supposed to have more than four Superbs at character generation, but I won't ask for a retroactive change. That applies to any new characters after this post, though!

 

P.S. Does His Prettiness have facial hair? And, although it's not as important, what race is he?

[Wyvern]

Jack of All Trades.

Human Half-Time Intermissions Clerk.

 

Strength: Poor (-2)

Dexterity: Good (+1)

Constitution: Mediocre (-1)

Intelligence: Fair

Wisdom: Great (+2)

Charisma: Superb (+3)

 

Son of Mark of All Trades, a wealthy marketing monopolist whose Stocotto gaming merchandise left a nation of aristocrats stampeding during holiday seasons, Jack of All Trades took to the theatre at an early age--though not to the stage. Jack's ill-befitting name fails to assess his single focussed skill: whistling. Be it sound effects, intermission music, or just good ol' fashioned sound language, Jack of All Trades is your man. Unlike his father, Jack is unabashedly in love with Senna, and has an obsession for costumes. His unwillingness to undress has left more than a few actresses disappointed.

 

Skills:

Whistle (intermissions music): Superb +3 (5 points)

Whistle (sound effects): Great +2 (4 points)

Whistle (bird calls): Good +1 (3 points)

Whistle (sleep-inducing lullaby): Fair (2 points)

Whistle (high-pitched/deafening): Good +1 (3 points)

Whistle (taunt): Good +1 (3 points)

Whistle (hypnotic melody): Mediocre -1 (1 point)

Whistle (suggestive): Good + 1 (3 points)

Whistle (uplifting melody): Great +2 (4 points)

Whistle (distracting): Good + 1 (3 points)

Whistle (military code): Mediocre -1 (1 point)

Prayer (Senna): Superb +3 (5 points)

Knowledge (Choreography): Medicore -1 (1 point)

Knowledge (Staging): Fair (2 points)

 

Owns: Portable 7 foot tall wardrobe on wheels, with a Senna shrine located within. Numerous costumes, without a touch of purple in sight. Sharp haircomb/letter opener. Subscriptions to five fashion magazines, five theatre magazines, and ten fashionable theatre magazines. A breath freshener. A rolled-up red carpet, which occasionally substitutes as a cape. Various pieces of Senna fandom. A large portrait of Bultar, which he spits on once a day and wields as a blunt object. A mailbox for theatre reps to drop requests in (requesting in person is unfashionable, these days).

[Quincunx]

The time is Three Fifty (speakers CRACK!, then emit a low electrical hum).

 

Inside the PA booth, on the other side of the airport chapel, Betty opens up the back of the PA system and pokes around with a ball-point pen.

 

If this wasn't important to the plot, it could just be roleplayed out. However, I need that PA system working in order to start the game, so it's an attempt to advance the plot, so I need to roll the dice. Twiddling around expensive electronics with a blunt ball-point pen is probably an act of dexterity

 

Dexterity: Good +1

 

and Betty knows her PA systems well

 

Knowledge (PA systems): Good +1

 

and then luck, in the form of three six-sided dice (a.k.a 3d6), is added. I used this online dice roller since I haven't found the physical dice yet.

 

3d6: 1 + 1 + 3 = 5

 

So 3d6 + Stat Mod + Skill Mod becomes 5 + 1 + 1 = 7.

 

 

*****

 

Betty yelped and dropped the pen, then pulled it out a few seconds later, held it up, and looked at the electrical burns on the barrel. She tested the pen on the back of a Corsair Air voucher, looked at the blotched result, and lay down pen and paper on the busted PA system. Betty then added the cracked timepiece (3:56 PM) atop the voucher, threatened to tear out her hair with both hands, and screeched, "HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!"

 

3d6: (13) + Wisdom (0) + Prayer to Patina (2) = 15

 

*****

 

The pile quivered and straightened. Betty untangled her fingers from her hair and picked up each item. The pen was as good as new, with an unchewed cap. The watch crystal was still broken but the display underneath had a new field for the date. Instead of one defaced Corsair Air voucher, there were now six, with four already completed and ready to submit. Underneath the vouchers was a spotless manual for the PA system, with a bookmark peeking out of the top.

 

*****

 

Wyvern: You're good to go. Welcome to the monkeyh airport.

[Quincunx]

3d6 (11) + Dexterity (1) + Knowledge (PA Systems) (1) = 13

 

Betty opened the manual to the bookmarked page, which was, by divine coincedence, the beginning pages of Chapter XIV: Improvised Repair Tools. The bookmark's motto You're cutting this aw-ful-ly close, my dear glowed briefly, then faded as she knelt down and jabbed the pen into the service panel again. A breaker closed, the speakers whined like a baby that just dropped its lollipop, and Betty snatched up both the microphone and the watch:

 

The time is Three Fifty Nine Pee Em. Meet me at Four Oh Five Pee Em for tea and pie at DaVinci's Experimental Bakery. Hurry hurry!

 

 

*****

 

Character signup will not close!

Edited April 23, 2006 by Quincunx

[Finnius]

Because I should have been doing something constructive, obviously I instead did this...

 

Jimmy, Disciple of Phonnus and Paper Delivery Boy

 

Strength (Mediocre) -1

Dexterity (Good) +1

Constitution (Mediocre) -1

Intelligence (Great) +2

Wisdom (Good) +1

Charisma (Good) +1

 

Born to two unimaginative working lower class parents, a toddler-like Jimmy was sold to wandering blind monks, because, as Jimmy's father (Gus) put it, "When blind monks ask to buy yer son for a large bag of gold, and you look over and there's yer son, chewing on a dirt clod, you can't really say that's a bad deal." Jimmy argued with the monks often, played loud music at all hours of the night, and moved out shortly after graduating monk school. He has not been back since, and the blind monks often wonder if they bought the wrong child. Gus has refused all requests for a refund.

 

Jimmy, who to his knowledge is the only open acolyte of Phonnus, the God of People Calling You Jimmy, leads a somewhat bewildering life. His day job is to deliver sales papers... to other dimensions. Why someone in another dimension would go to the trouble of finding and paying for dimensional travel just to save a few quid on laundry detergent is entirely beyond Jimmy, and who would send such papers to interdimensional residents is similarly obscure.

 

Nonetheless, it's a steady, if a bit shady, job and Jimmy does have an uncanny knack at popping himself in and out of other dimensions. The only real problem he has with the job is that many of the... er... customers he is charged with delivering sales papers to don't actually want them, and will go to great lengths to get Jimmy off their property. Sometimes yelling is involved, sometimes napalm.

 

It is good then, that Jimmy is quite adept at not getting shot, stabbed, eaten, beaten, crushed, castrated, or decapitated. After all, every day brings paper deliveries to new and excting places... and sometimes airports!

 

 

Skills -

(5)Beseaching Phonnus to Grant Divine Aid to His Poor Disciple, Before I get Eaten or Otherwise Dead (Superb) +3

(5)Leaping Out of the Way of Danger (Superb) +3

(4)Being Charming in Hostile Situations (Great) +2

(1)Being Charming in Non-Hostile Situations (Mediocre) -1

(3)Talking People Into Giving Jimmy Money They Legitimately Owe Him (Good) +1

(4)Foraging for Food (Great) +2

(3)Thrown Weapons - Sales Papers (Good) +1

(5)Tracking... Down 'Customers' (Superb) +3

(2)Knowledge: Orders of Blind Monks (Fair)

(3)Knowledge: Deities Who Have At Some Point Been Called Jimmy (Good) +1

(4)Knowledge: Paperwork (Great) +2

 

Magic-

(5)Conjuration, especially of the Interdimensional Sort (Superb) +3

 

Equipment:

1)Company Uniform consisting of Snazzy Button-Down red shirt, Standard Issue black slacks, and comfortable running shoes (very important in Jimmy's line of work)

2)Photo IDs with the phrase "Hi, I'm Jimmy!" in Large Red Lettering (in case one gets lost)

1)Standard Issue Shoulder-sack full of rolled up sales papers (anywhere between 10 and 20)

1)Photograph of Jimmy posing Dramatically with his arm around a rather Embarrased Looking Individual whom Jimmy claims is Phonnus, but is more likely Willy Nelson

A few random coins, just in case someone wants change

An embarrasingly slim wallet

Secret Monk Decoder Ring

Edited April 25, 2006 by Finnius

[Quincunx]

Finnius, your stat numbers are a wee bit out of whack. I think you intended to have three +2 stats and three -1 stats, but instead took four of the good kind. Since you went ahead and sunk five points into Conjuration, I assume that it is an un-specialized Conjuration, handy for more than just plane-hopping, plane-skipping, and planar-travelers-on-the-lam.

[Finnius]

Count number 1 corrected, and correct on count number two... s'just that our man Jimmy only *generally* uses it for that purpose, but if the situation arises, ya, he could probably whip something else up.

[Sweetcherrie]

I'm possibly to do some rolling there, but if someone could maybe explain how exactly that works....

[Quincunx]

Thanks all for this bizarre little romp. I'm still very sorry about the loss of momentum half-way through.

 

In a quirk of fate, during that extra time, the original Generica campaign has re-opened recruitment (Team Abstract Vitamin keeps losing people). I'm going to design a new character for him and invite anyone who wants to continue using these characters to come with me via a flight on Corsair Air, the airline that puts the Arrrrrrr in Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!:

 

Generica OOC

 

Generica: Team Potato Tree

As promised, the link back to the campaign that started it all.