& I Fall Right Through Your Arms.

[Tasslehoff]

Are these truths getting any easier,
As every moment fades away in his shadow?
Take a look at what we have become,
Take a look at what we have done to us now..

What was it that you really wanted,
A body to fill the time & his emtpy space when all alone?
If only I saw it coming,
How far down will I fall,
& if I never come up again?
Cause I'm sick of it all...


& you want everything to change,
Just how deep will this actually go?
Till you see through it all,
Till you consume all that I have left.


Would you say you were finding your way out,
Is anything coming in clearer?
Or am I just in the way,
Still you dont see the game you play,
Falling further away from my composure,
I wonder if I dont come up again?
Cause I'm sick of it all...

I wont ever be the right answer,
To help you fight his disease buried in your head?
But in the end, its all the same,
The circles start over again...

[Wyvern]

Interesting poem, Tasslehof. :-) I really like the frustration that you convey through the tone of this piece, and the cyclical nature of the relationship mentioned at the end is intriguing. The basis of the relationship, with the concept of filling "empty space when all alone," also made for good subject matter. I enjoyed some of the wordchoice and phrasing in this poem, particularly with the image of moment's fading into the third person's shadow.

 

One thing that I've noticed in a number of your poems is an emphasis on posing questions to the reader. While I think that questions can be a powerful means of grabbing the reader's attention and making them think, I also think that it's important that they lead the reader in a certain direction, and too many questions can sometimes lead to a poem being bogged down in ambiguity. You may want to consider restructuring some of your questions with this mind, as there points where I felt like I wanted something more concrete and definitive.

 

Thanks for sharing, and nicely done. :-)