Life Question # 19

[Salinye]

Well, It's been a LOOOONG time since I've done one of these, but here we go. :0)

 

Valentine's day is just around the corner. How do you feel about Valentine's day? On February 14th do you flit around with your heart a flutter anxious to see what the day will bring, or do you wear all black and protest the very existence of the holiday?

 

Secondly, are you able to feel anything about the holiday unbiasly or does your current romantic situation highly effect how you're feeling about the holiday each year?

 

Finally, what is your idea of the perfect Valentine's day? Has commercialism improved the holiday or added hype that now kills the original and true meaning and spirit of the day?

 

The thread is now yours....

 

~Salinye

[Quincunx]

Crap, I knew I was forgetting something this week.

 

When I was younger, Valentine's Day irritated me, but not much more than the simple existence of lovebirds did. The one year I didn't go to school on the day, which should have been the easiest, turned out to be the worst. I found the carnation in my locker the next day before first-period and jammed it at the nose of the defiler after third-period class. (Didn't quite achieve 'up' the nose.) I moved after that year and didn't trouble myself with the day since then.

Edited February 10, 2006 by Quincunx

[Sweetcherrie]

I wished marketing would let me forget this day

 

Everywhere I go it's pink, although the yellow of easter shines through already. I guess I have nothing against the day, but have nothing for it either.

 

And I've always imagined that in a relationship you should have a few more days than Valentine where you're nice to each other....

[Zadown]

Valentine's Day has no roots here in Finland, there's no real traditions attached to it - it is mainly something the shops and such try to promote to get us buy more. So I hate the Finnish version (same as I hate the Finnish version of Halloween, which is rootless here as well) and can't say anything about the US version.

 

All in all: meh.

[Salinye]

Shamefully, I must admit that for me how I felt about Valentine's Day each year had a lot to do with whether or not I had a Valentine that year! lol If I was dating someone special then ofcourse I couldn't wait for Valentine's Day. Flowers, surprises, the thrill of dating someone new, etc. However, on the flip side of the coin, we girl's that didn't have anyone special each year would wear all black and boycott the Holiday in a more humorous than bitter manner. *grins* But then ofcourse if we got a surprise valentine or flowers from someone then we quickly abandoned all loyalty to each other and our protest and joined the starry eyed love sickos by the masses! lol For shame! For Shame!!

 

I don't like the way the media has changed Valentine's Day and I absolutely forbid my husband to buy roses on that day. I know how much roses cost and I think it's ridiculous how much they bump up the price for this particular holiday and I just can't support it!!

 

When I was first dating my husband (And I mean REALLY early on) he called me at work on Valentine's day and my friend (One of the gallant and devoted protesters of Valentines Day) was making smart silly comments in the background. Later that day some flowers arrived for her. The card simply read "Because no girl should be without flowers on Valentine's Day." She didn't know who they were from, but I recognized my (now husband) boyfriends handwriting. He later showed up with flowers for me as well, but I think I loved him more for what he did for my friend. :0)

 

So there is your sappy love story for the holiday!!

 

Something Sweetcherrie said struck me in an interesting way and I agree with her. If Valentine's day is EVER looked forward to as a day when your "Valentine" will finally be nice to you because he/she has to, I'm thinking you're with the wrong person. :0) *grins* I'm sure most would agree!! :0)

 

Happy day, lovebirds!

 

~Salinye

[Gwaihir]

I have a someone but I can honestly say that I didn't even realize it was Valentine's day soon until I saw this. I doubt my love knows it now.

 

Does Valentine's day have any non-marketing roots in America or Europe? I would llike the day much better if I could find some tradition besides stores.

[Sweetcherrie]

If I would have a someone who would only be nice to me on Valentine...he would be out of the door already....but there's no someone at all

[Salinye]

For Gwaihir and enquiring minds alike...(from The History Channel Website)

 

The History of Valentine's Day

Every February, across the country, candy, flowers, and gifts are exchanged between loved ones, all in the name of St. Valentine. But who is this mysterious saint and why do we celebrate this holiday? The history of Valentine's Day -- and its patron saint -- is shrouded in mystery. But we do know that February has long been a month of romance. St. Valentine's Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. So, who was Saint Valentine and how did he become associated with this ancient rite? Today, the Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred.

 

One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men -- his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.

 

Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons where they were often beaten and tortured.

 

According to one legend, Valentine actually sent the first 'valentine' greeting himself. While in prison, it is believed that Valentine fell in love with a young girl -- who may have been his jailor's daughter -- who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter, which he signed 'From your Valentine,' an expression that is still in use today. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories certainly emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic, and, most importantly, romantic figure. It's no surprise that by the Middle Ages, Valentine was one of the most popular saints in England and France.

 

The History of Valentine's Day

While some believe that Valentine's Day is celebrated in the middle of February to commemorate the anniversary of Valentine's death or burial -- which probably occurred around 270 A.D -- others claim that the Christian church may have decided to celebrate Valentine's feast day in the middle of February in an effort to 'christianize' celebrations of the pagan Lupercalia festival. In ancient Rome, February was the official beginning of spring and was considered a time for purification. Houses were ritually cleansed by sweeping them out and then sprinkling salt and a type of wheat called spelt throughout their interiors. Lupercalia, which began at the ides of February, February 15, was a fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture, as well as to the Roman founders Romulus and Remus.

 

To begin the festival, members of the Luperci, an order of Roman priests, would gather at the sacred cave where the infants Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, were believed to have been cared for by a she-wolf or lupa. The priests would then sacrifice a goat, for fertility, and a dog, for purification.

 

The boys then sliced the goat's hide into strips, dipped them in the sacrificial blood and took to the streets, gently slapping both women and fields of crops with the goathide strips. Far from being fearful, Roman women welcomed being touched with the hides because it was believed the strips would make them more fertile in the coming year. Later in the day, according to legend, all the young women in the city would place their names in a big urn. The city's bachelors would then each choose a name out of the urn and become paired for the year with his chosen woman. These matches often ended in marriage. Pope Gelasius declared February 14 St. Valentine's Day around 498 A.D. The Roman 'lottery' system for romantic pairing was deemed un-Christian and outlawed. Later, during the Middle Ages, it was commonly believed in France and England that February 14 was the beginning of birds' mating season, which added to the idea that the middle of February -- Valentine's Day -- should be a day for romance. The oldest known valentine still in existence today was a poem written by Charles, Duke of Orleans to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London following his capture at the Battle of Agincourt. The greeting, which was written in 1415, is part of the manuscript collection of the British Library in London, England. Several years later, it is believed that King Henry V hired a writer named John Lydgate to compose a valentine note to Catherine of Valois.

 

The History of Valentine's Day

In Great Britain, Valentine's Day began to be popularly celebrated around the seventeenth century. By the middle of the eighteenth century, it was common for friends and lovers in all social classes to exchange small tokens of affection or handwritten notes. By the end of the century, printed cards began to replace written letters due to improvements in printing technology. Ready-made cards were an easy way for people to express their emotions in a time when direct expression of one's feelings was discouraged. Cheaper postage rates also contributed to an increase in the popularity of sending Valentine's Day greetings. Americans probably began exchanging hand-made valentines in the early 1700s. In the 1840s, Esther A. Howland began to sell the first mass-produced valentines in America.

 

According to the Greeting Card Association, an estimated one billion valentine cards are sent each year, making Valentine's Day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year. (An estimated 2.6 billion cards are sent for Christmas.)

 

Approximately 85 percent of all valentines are purchased by women. In addition to the United States, Valentine's Day is celebrated in Canada, Mexico, the United Kingdom, France, and Australia.

 

Valentine greetings were popular as far back as the Middle Ages (written Valentine's didn't begin to appear until after 1400), and the oldest known Valentine card is on display at the British Museum. The first commercial Valentine's Day greeting cards produced in the U.S. were created in the 1840s by Esther A. Howland. Howland, known as the Mother of the Valentine, made elaborate creations with real lace, ribbons and colorful pictures known as "scrap".

[Ayshela]

I've never really liked Valentine's Day, whether i had a valentine or not. Yeah, it's nice sometimes to have someone make a special point of doing nice things, but if it takes a national holiday for someone to remember to let the people they care about KNOW that they care, there's something much more amiss than an overcommercialized holiday. Around here, that *is* a daily occurrence, because i believe that's how it should be. What point a special day to do what should be done regularly, if not daily? *shrug*

 

and i swear that makes sense in my head, even if not through my fingers tonight. *sigh*

[Vigil StarGazer]

Well, It's been a LOOOONG time since I've done one of these, but here we go. :0)

 

Valentine's day is just around the corner. How do you feel about Valentine's day? On February 14th do you flit around with your heart a flutter anxious to see what the day will bring, or do you wear all black and protest the very existence of the holiday?

 

Secondly, are you able to feel anything about the holiday unbiasly or does your current romantic situation highly effect how you're feeling about the holiday each year?

 

Finally, what is your idea of the perfect Valentine's day? Has commercialism improved the holiday or added hype that now kills the original and true meaning and spirit of the day?

 

The thread is now yours....

 

~Salinye

True Love's existance is based in experience and trust in one's own feelings, not in a Glarmourity given by sweet words or flowers. You can not expect to suffer through this situation. You must love or die. In this respect, I would say you must have strength in yourself not to be hurt or fooled by those who claimed to love you. You must learn to play. Dig?

[Canid]

First of all, I am working at Carlton Cards right now, and Valentines day is being rubbed in my face in all its commercial glory.

I don't like sappiness, I hate pink and I have a taste for nice toys - Valentines toys are without a doubt the most appaulingly horrid, shapeless and tacky things on earth. No other holliday quite matches it when it comes to the ratio of cheap, ugly toys to nice ones.

 

That said, I liked getting candy in my cards when I was little (though admittedly, my liking of the cinnamon hearts and little message hearts was marginal at best, the only ones I really enjoyed were the chocolates). I only wrote a few cards each year, as my mother was of the opinion that it was silly to send cards to people I didn't count as friends, which I never really disagreed with (though I do vaguely recall that I was quite... concious of the fact that the candies I was eating were given to me by people who hadn't even gotten a card from myself).

The sweets were all it meant to me then, and it means little more to me now. Valentines day is a holiday far couples, and the insanity of sending valentines cards and necklaces and whoo-haw flying about to your cousins, nieces and nephews hits me almost as hard as ANYONE sending a card to somebody on Halloween (pet peeves anyone?)

 

Later on, when I find a *someone*... it might be an excuse for a dinner out.... but I am not a sentimental enough person to ever want to make anything more of the holiday.

[Appy]

The general idea of Valentine is kinda nice, but completely missed by the commercialising of it.

If you look at what we celebrate and when, it's not that strange that we put a date to it. Or, to be precise, that the christian church put a date to it. Which isn't all that bad if it weren't for the fact that we're now dictated by the stores on HOW we'll celebrate it.

 

I've always been remembered of Valentine's day, since it's my aunt's birthday. But I don't remember ever sending a card. If I couldn't seek contact with someone I was interested in on any other day, I didn't feel it would make it any easier or more succesfull on that day, so I reasoned.

And I don't even remember for sure if I got any cards myself... could be. This is how much impact they had.

 

Yesterday my husband brought home flowers. Just like that. Because it had been a long time since he did so, and felt he wanted to show his appreciation for me through them. Those are my Valentine's days.

 

And, incidentally, a lot cheaper too then the actual one, would we celebrate that. In fact, I think I specifically forbade my husband to buy me any flowers as well on that date, just like Salinye.

 

-Rambling Appy

[Quincunx]

I'd forgotten about the Valentine's paraphernalia. Those chalky message hearts made great ammo, although the chocolate wasn't even worth eating (anyone remember Whitman's chocolate samplers, half-price after the big day? Yuuuuuurgh). As for the cards. . .Later in high school, the friends from which I'd moved away restarted the Valentine's card giving amongst themselves, I think because one of them had gone to vo-tech for printing courses and made her own, or was looking out for her future income. Only one card made it out to me, a Disney valentine with sappy_saying_01, and it was funny, with a remark like "Can you believe how bad this is?" written on the back side. Scouring the shops, competing with your friends to send the worst and sappiest valentines you can find, regardless of whether any of you had dates or not--that would have been fun.

[Mira]

Its really sad the way US companies have commercialized all holidays, not just this one. I mean they started playing Christmas music around here the day after Halloween, almost two full months before Christmas. They're planning on putting Easter decorations up very soon where I work, another two months before the holiday! I just wish corporate America would stop shoving this stuff down my throat and let me enjoy it in my own way.

 

(I've got no problem with Valentine's Day itself.)

[Salinye]

Worst Tackiest most sappy annoying Valentines Day EVER cards. Now THAT would be a good Pen Event this coming Tuesday! ROFL Quincunx!

 

~Salinye

[Regel]

I do a lot of things outside of this day to remind the woman I married that she is still loved admired and appreciated. SHe is too pramatic to allow my sentimentality to get too expensive but allowing Valentine's day to pass without a card or flowers or something would also be expensive (ie. Replacing vases that had been tossed at me and medical services.)

 

I still send my mother a dozen white and red carnations on Valentines. It was my father's tradition and I carry it on.

 

As for those company's that make money on candy cards and flowers, big deal, if people didn't enjoy receiving them Valentine's day certainly wouldn't help there cause.

Edited February 11, 2006 by Regel

[Ayshela]

Side note: the Consolidated list of projects/exercises has been brought up to date, so if you're new and haven't seen these before OR if you've missed any, they'll be easy to find.

=)

[Finnius]

I am normally inclined to agree with the previous statements about comercialism, over-exposure, tacky cards, candy of suspect quality, and overpriced pollen-carriers, but these concerns have already been noted. No, Pennites and Pennettes, it is a far more serious matter that I must bring to your attention and I am sure it is one that has already been noticed by our membership, but it is a topic so horrid in its implications that most of them simply would not speak of it.

 

I am talking, of course, about the great Valentines Day mind-control conspiracy.

 

Every February 14th, millions upon millions of tacky pink teddy bears are shipped out across the good ol' U.S. of A. and of those, at least three or four are equipped with brain-washing hypno-beams that, when combined with the subtle but tasteless will-eroding solvent placed on the powder-candy hearts that are crammed down the throats of millions of heart-throbbing lovebirds, turns them into mindless agents of the Central Unified Protection and Information Division.

 

Yes, CUPID.

 

I know, many of you have never heard of this agency, let alone are willing to believe the ravings of a half-crazed lunatic of questionable credentials and uncertain seriousness, BUT-

 

If I'm right, then we are all being spyed on by couples who are otherwise seemingly engaged in harmless displays of public affection. Every snuggle and kiss, hand-holding and bench-warming make-out session is a subtle code to CUPID agents on the whereabouts and activities of every single US citizen.

 

This is a travesty that must not be allowed to continue!

 

Up the revolution, upon St. Crispin's Day!

 

Or something like that.

 

*collapses*

[Appy]

*falls from her chair laughing and huggles the lil' blue man*

 

That was short of brilliant! *grins and wanders off again to hide pink fluffy teddybears all over the Keep*

[Salinye]

Salinye panics as a small fire smolders next to her. Grinning sheepishly she explains to the surprised onlookers. "What? The pink bear was looking at me funny. I...I...I didn't want to be a victim to C.U.P.I.D!!"

 

REVOLUTION!

 

~Salinye

[Tyrion]

I don't like hyped up holidays in general, so it's no surprise that I don't like Valentine's day. I'm the kind of person who doesn't notice it's December 25th, but I almost always know when it's November 11th (don't ask me why).

 

The reason I don't like Valentine's day is that it tries to make "love" seems warm, happy and fuzzy. Real love is about something much greater than that. It's about pain and humility. The warm, happy, fuzzy stuff is the hook that makes you endure the other stuff. There's no pain like the one that love brings you. It's the most productive feeling there is.

 

Love without conflict is only half the experience. Love works in extremes. You can live all your life perfectly contented without ever experiencing any of it. You get into it for the 'happy' things, but the rest is what makes you grow. If you never have any pain or conflicts, then love is just a boring, mundane feeling to you. No great story was ever written about a perfect relationship.

 

Pain helps you define yourself. How you handle it shows your character. How you face it shows your courage. No matter who you are, it will teach you humility.

 

Valentine's day should be about pain.

Edited February 12, 2006 by Tyrion

[Gyrfalcon]

Viva la revolution!

 

Very nice, Finnius... I'll be sure to keep an eye out for any teddy bears I see upon that day. *grins* Do you know whereabouts they conceal the camera lens?

 

Otherwise, I don't mind Valentine's Day. In fact, half the time, I don't even know we've hit that day until Valentine's Day. I barely watch TV and the sites I frequent don't go out of their way to announce it... so I suppose I'm lucky that way.

 

And yes, I also hate the comercialization of holidays. Like Mira, Christmas started WAY too early last year... in my case, I think I started seeing comercials and ads two days BEFORE Halloween. *sighs*

[Zariah]

In my family, I give cards to my mom and dad that are cute and funny. And they give me a card and something like candy or a teddy bear or something that’s cute and funny. And my parents give each other one really nice card and then funny ones. My dad usually gives my mom roses or something at her office. No one takes it really seriously in my family, and no one is offended if we forget about Valentine’s day. I remember my mom even forgot once and it was no big deal. I think as long as you know that love isn’t about a holiday or even receiving things that “reveal” how someone feels about you, then Valentine’s day can be fun and care free. I know in elementary school all the kids were told in advanced to bring in something for everyone. But of course, kids who didn’t like other kids wouldn’t give them their valentines and some felt bad. Some would count all their valentines and use it as a measure of popularity. So so silly.

 

I don’t wear red or black. I just wear everyday clothes b/c it doesn’t strike me as something to get all worked up about either way. I think it only sucks when you have other people who have big todo’s about valentine’s day and share it with you and you aren’t in a relationship. I think it feels like someone is rubbing their happiness in your face. But that’s a mindset. And probably a sign that you are lonely and want to be cared about. I don’t even think it’s about not having something on Valentine’s Day, it’s probably about not having anything at all.

 

I don’t think my opinion reflects the fact that I’m in a relationship b/c I’ve been single when Valentine’s Day rolls around and I was thoroughly satisfied with sharing the Holiday with my parents. My dad cooked a lovely meal and the three of us played rummy (a card game). It was nice to be with the people who love me, but then again, it should be nice all the time.

 

My idea of the perfect Valentine’s Day? It’d just be a good regular day with a moment that I could tell Oliver how much I love him and give him some funny cards to make him laugh and reminisce. Then we’d huggle! And you know what? That’s reasonable and that will happen and it’s peachy keen. I don’t focus on the commercialism b/c I think as a society people are too focused on getting “things” and focusing on this sad reality only deepens my sorrow/concern that we as a nation are soon bound to be finished, much like the fall of other great empires. In the long run, it doesn’t affect me b/c I feel blessed to know the true meaning of love and giving and receiving and also blessed that I can pray when I feel sad about things. So, I can pray for those who fall victim to society’s commercial mindset. I know I have in the past, so it’s not a “I’m bigger than that thing” it’s just my wish that others can experience true happiness without things.

[Sweetcherrie]

Zariah: I think there might also be a slight culture difference here....

 

In general where I live (and everywhere I have lived so far) it's simply not as 'Valentine' as the states yet. Commerce is trying to turn it into the same hype, but most people look at it pretty soberly and simply wonder where this day comes from all of a sudden....

[Zariah]

It's good to get a different cultual perspective. I was refering to my own understanding of American culture. Sorry, I should have been more specific. I sometimes get caught up in the moment and forget that there are people from all over the world. Also, the generalizations I make, most likely don't refer to most people I know. Simply because I try to surround myself with people who have depth, insight, knowledge, and more awareness, understanding, and security than me. This place is a place of growth.