Katzaniel Posted January 31, 2006 Report Posted January 31, 2006 (edited) I'd let them dance and twirl and sing, For me they'd do most anything; They'd all be sweet and cute and fun - They would not be just anyone! My merry men, they'd join the crew Oh think, the things that they would do! We'd laugh, we'd spin, we'd stay up late, We'd take all night to celebrate. And in the morn we'd go again, Trill endless singing to the rain, Dance disco moves and Irish jigs, And eat a meal of ham and figs. My pretty men, they'd do my will, But never ever have their fill. Such fun beyond the harem wall, And then of course they'd bare it all. (EDIT: typo) Edited February 1, 2006 by Katzaniel
Sweetcherrie Posted January 31, 2006 Report Posted January 31, 2006 LOL! This is great I just love funny poems
Mynx Posted February 1, 2006 Report Posted February 1, 2006 *claps and cheers* The imagry from this got me through work today. Vielen Danke!
Parmenion Posted February 1, 2006 Report Posted February 1, 2006 Brilliant! - fast paced, easy flow and a fun oul tale of what all us men secretly think about...shhhh.....
Katzaniel Posted February 3, 2006 Author Report Posted February 3, 2006 Wow, it's an amazing feeling to write something you like in a medium you find difficult, and then see that it made some people smile - three of them enough to reply to the piece. Thank you for the feedback. Oh, I keep tripping over "Dance disco moves and Irish jigs" - if anyone can think of a less awkward word in place of "moves" please tell me.
Peredhil Posted February 3, 2006 Report Posted February 3, 2006 Heh, makes me want to write something for all the wench's in Peredhil's Dungeon. This is delightful fun. Dance disco .... Hmm. you could find a "d" word for the alliteration. A two syllable word might balance the beat established by the one syllable "morn", two syllable "singing", a two syllable ...., and the one syllable "meal". If you found something two syllable, soft sounds like "singing" then it could balance the hard "M" sounds of "morn" and "meal". But, as Parmenion can tell you, I'm a dangerous person for suggestions, as I tear things apart in three dimensions.
Tanuchan Posted February 5, 2006 Report Posted February 5, 2006 Loved it, Katz! As it was already said - fun, light, and made me laugh. It has movement, rhythm - and for me, brings to mind a feeling of carefree life, one that's lived on the spot, without worries. Really good, Katz - thank you
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