Regel Posted January 19, 2006 Report Posted January 19, 2006 Passing the stranger Better take care Eyes drink their fill At his wandering stare. His face a closed story With no life of its own Frozen contempt Shards of glass, broken bone. Street hardened features A life on the skids No family to speak of No wife and no kids. Hair matted and greasy Soiled raggedy clothes Old vapours of whiskey Two feet but nine toes. People walk by him Avoiding his stare Go about their business Won't worry, won't care.
Appy Posted January 19, 2006 Report Posted January 19, 2006 Powerful image you have here. I really like how it changes from Better take care to won´t care. Thank you for posting.
WrenWind Posted January 27, 2006 Report Posted January 27, 2006 Sadly there are too many of those people on the streets *hugs Regel*
Sweetcherrie Posted January 28, 2006 Report Posted January 28, 2006 I liked this the first time I read it, and I still do. The images you create really drive the feelings behind them through and I agree with Appy how you manage to shift from caring to not caring....as society does more and more. Only one thing bugged me... Second stanza has too many syllables in 2nd and 4th line...not sure if you did that on purpose, but for me it broke the flow when I read it out loud. The rest thunders down like a waterfall, but here it seems like there's a pebble in the way. Still...amazing poem..thanks *hugs*
Regel Posted January 28, 2006 Author Report Posted January 28, 2006 (edited) The poem was an attempt to recreate the impression I had walking in the downtown business core of Toronto. I had taken my wife and two sons to Blue Jay game, and decided to finish the day by dining out. We decided since it was a warm and pleasant late afternoon to stroll the two or three blocks to the restaurant. We came upon this wreck of a man, sitting stone faced on the concrete sidewalk. In front of him was a Tim Horton's cup with some loose change in it. I watch they way people would look at him, slowly to take in the view as they approached but then quickly returning to a quicker pace. They would breeze by him as if he a was grafitti, or some form of urban blight. Strange how easy it was to drop a tooney in his cup and keep on walking. My discomfort was very real. Had a person simply fallen and scrapped their knee I believe many people would have stooped to offer assistance even to a stranger but this was different. In my mind a voice screamed out "Different how?" He has a name and a story (be it a sad one) that explained how he came to be this way. My decision was to walk by and leave him to his circumstances. Certainly one could argue that there was something wrong with him. I couldn't shake the idea that there was something wrong with me. Thank you for the comments. Edited January 28, 2006 by Regel
Da_Yog Posted January 28, 2006 Report Posted January 28, 2006 Forlorn images come to mind. Expectations unfulfilled. A life that could have been something else, something much better perhaps...
Parmenion Posted February 1, 2006 Report Posted February 1, 2006 Excellent Regel! Good meter and Rythym coupled with a keen eye for interesting description. I very much enjoyed this read. I particularly liked the lines: His face a closed story With no life of its own Frozen contempt Shards of glass, broken bone. Was thinking that maybe an extra word in the third line like Frozen with/in contempt might help the flow by lending an extra syllable. Regarding homeless people and my subjective opinion. I have little or no time for them. I used to work the streets selling as a street vendor years ago. I remember one specific girl who used to prod her baby's bum with a pin to make it cry in the hope of getting more attention and more money. I knew another guy who made a mint swindling money out of people by saying he needed train fare to get to a job interview. Regardless of whether you are there by circumstance or by choice there are agencies and places out there to help. If pride stops these people from seeking help and genuinely wanting to change their circumstances then they have learned nothing about human society and how it functions and in my personal opinion deserve their fate.
Regel Posted February 4, 2006 Author Report Posted February 4, 2006 And the Lord said to Cain, Where is your brother Abel? You know Parmenion, it is not so easy for me to talk about this. I can't argue with the feelings you have and it was never my intention to change peoples opinions. It is just my opinion that one day I will have to face my creator when he asks me the same question.
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