Tyrion Posted December 12, 2005 Report Posted December 12, 2005 (edited) In my History of the United States class, we had to cancel the midterm because of a professors' strike. To make up for it the teacher sent us a 5-page assignment by e-mail due on the same day as the final, with less than 2 weeks' notice. That didn't go well with one student, who replied to the teacher and the whole class saying how that was unacceptable and making demands. I couldn't help but laugh at the irony and I wrote the following, which I've translated to English for your convenience. Of course I sent this to the professor and the whole class, making sure to state it was intended to be a joke first. "Unanimous declaration of the United Students In the deplorable eventuality of dissention between a group of students and the professor who forms them, fundamentally equal beings all linked by a powerful thirst for knowledge, the side who feels their rights are being infringed upon must clearly express the reasons for their discontent. It is obvious that the educational mandate of a faculty and, by extension, of a professor is only justifiable through the trust the students have in its capacity to adequately evaluate their efforts and the performance derived from them. If the student, basis itself of this wonderful community that is the university, loses the impression that his time is used in a fair and enriching manner, the system finds itself obsolete. Hence it is a right and a duty to rectify the situation by removing from its position the power the element preventing the continuation of a pleasant learning experience. To demonstrate the necessity of such a maneuver, the infractions leading to this verdict will be listed here. The efforts invested on many occasions in the study for a midterm exam, while taken into consideration, were never compensated. The unilateral establishment of measures to make up for lost classes is an act of tyranny and goes against the principles promoted by the rules concerning the syllabus. The delay given for the redaction of a substancial essay is vastly insufficient in the current situation. The time necessary for preparation for a final exam, without mentionning the due dates in other classes that we must also pay attention to, makes such a request unacceptable. We, the United Students, declare by this document that those united individuals are from now on independent, that they no longer have to answer to the requests of the faculty, and that any affiliation between these two institutions is void. As free beings, we reserve the right to dictate our own evaluation measures, to arrange for the correction of our assignments ourselves and to give our consent to an affiliation to a different establishment, should the situation arise." The translation isn't perfect, but it's close enough. Here's the original for those of you who can read French, it would seem silly to make a second post in the Manor of Tongues for it. "Déclaration unanime des Étudiants-Unis Dans l’éventualité déplorable d’un désaccord entre un groupe d’étudiants et le professeur qui les forme, êtres fondamentalement égaux tous liés par une puissante soif de connaissance, le parti qui sent ses droits lésés se doit d’énoncer clairement les raisons de son mécontentement. Il va de soi que le mandat d’éducation d’une faculté et, par extension, d’un professeur n’est justifiable que par la confiance des étudiants en la capacité de cette institution de pouvoir évaluer adéquatement leurs efforts et la performance qui en découle. Si l’étudiant, base même de ce merveilleux milieu universitaire, perd l’impression que son temps est utilisé de façon juste et enrichissante, le système s’en retrouve périmé. Il s’agit donc d’un droit et d’un devoir de rectifier la situation en retirant de sa position de pouvoir l’élément qui nuit à la continuation d’une expérience d’apprentissage plaisante. Pour démontrer la nécessité d’une telle manœuvre, les infractions menant au verdict rédigé seront ici même énoncées. Les efforts investis à maintes reprises dans l’étude d’un examen de mi-session, bien que pris en considération, ne furent jamais compensés. L’établissement unilatéral des mesures de rattrapage est un acte de tyrannie et va à l’encontre des principes mis en vigueur par les règles concernant le plan de cours. Le délai accordé pour la rédaction d’un essai substantiel est largement insuffisant dans la conjoncture actuelle. Le temps nécessaire à la préparation de l’examen final, sans mentionner les échéanciers des autres cours auxquels nous devons également faire face, rend une telle exigence inacceptable. Nous, les Étudiants-Unis, déclarons donc par la présente que ces individus unis sont désormais indépendants, qu’ils n’ont plus à répondre aux exigences de la faculté et que toute affiliation entre ces deux institutions est révolue. En tant qu’êtres libres, nous nous réservons alors le droit de dicter nos propres mesures d’évaluation, de nous arranger nous-mêmes pour la correction de nos travaux et de consentir nous-mêmes à une affiliation avec un autre établissement, si la situation se présentait." Edited December 12, 2005 by Tyrion
Wyvern Posted December 16, 2005 Report Posted December 16, 2005 Wyvern barges into the Cabaret Room wearing a long white wig of aristocratic curls and a pansy diplomat's wardrobe. The 18th century gecko reaches into a small tin he carries and dots his snout with "black snuff," a Almost Dragonic ash equivalent of the traditional noble accessory. The lizard's snout twitches as he approaches Tyrion, and he snatches his "Unanimous Declaration of the United Students" with a "hurmph!" "More foolish upperclassman rhetoric, I see." Wyvern crams a cracked monacle next to his right eye as he reads, sticking his snout as high as possible and holding the sheet above his head. 'They'll fall to their lack of geld incomes, though I'm mosssst curious as to what will come next. A Extracurricular Consitution? A Second Ammendment on the right to bear crib notes? An eventual disbandment and system collapse at the rise of Almost Dragonic Brand Lumpenproletariat Socialist Manifestos?" Wyvern pauses for a moment as he considers the possibilities,. He breaks into a grin at the thought of a law restricting paintings that don't include Wyvern with a long white wig in them. The overgrown lizard ignores Tyrion's blank stares as he reaches for the peacock quill tucked in a plush pocket of his diplomat suite. "Y'know, on further consideration, this actually ssseems like an endeavor worth supporting." Wyvern scrawls his initials on the upper-righthand of the page, next to the word "United." "Just be sure to get lumpenproletariat's signature. And remember: you can always count on the crimson red of Almost Dragonic Inc!" With that, Wyvern cackles and slaps Tyrion on the back, holding out the tin of ash in the hopes of offering him some. The lizard pauses and twists his snout, however, as a wift of ash circles in the air. He takes two steps and raises a claw to his nostrils, breathing deeply as the lethal sneeze approaches... ;-)
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