The Mighty Pen Quiz

[Patrick]

The idea had taken some time to materialize in his head and working out the details wasn’t the easiest, but he was by now pretty sure that he was ready. Fred Jickson only had to stick up a few posters on the walls and then wait for contestants and spectators. He sat down in front of his computer and typed out the poster. He tried several different variations, before finally settling on one, which he considered not too obvious, but still noticeable. It said in a mixture of light blue and light green ink:

 

The Mighty Pen Quiz!

Original idea by Christopher Malcolm

Individual and team competitions!

Spectators also welcome!

Soon to begin in the Conservatory.

 

He printed out the poster about a dozen times, and then admired the result. Fred Jickson was a professional show organiser and was going to be backstage during the whole show, while others got their moment of fame.

 

Only one more thing was missing. A crucial element. One without which a quiz show could not happen. A host for the show. He had earlier asked Christopher whether he wanted to take the role, but the journalist-photographer (and God knows what else) had to turn the offer down due to his participation in a new newspaper, some Gazette or other.

 

He didn’t have much time to find a host for the show. He scanned over a long list of possibles, knowing full well that most of them definitely weren’t show host material. Some were too young, some too old, some too ugly, some too good looking and others were not of the right type to be quiz show hosts. He needed someone new, someone fresh, not yet known in a wide circle.

 

It took him the best part of an hour to sift through the names before he found one, which seemed to be perfect. Heather Monsley was a student of art, and was going to finish in a few months time. And not negligibly, she had won the Miss Student competition last year…

 

A phone call later it was all arranged. He was going to meet her that night, to go over the details. In the meantime he had to go and decorate the Pen Keep with his “magnificent” posters.

[Patrick]

"I've got to rush to get changed." - Heather announced, two hours before the show was about to start. Fred nodded and then motioned for one of the cameras to be slightly moved. The big day had arrived, and there were still a lot of things to do. The participants, not as many as he had expected, were going to arrive soon. While on stage only half a dozen people moved around, making minor adjustments to equipment, backstage everything was chaotic. Unused props lay in disarray around them. He would have to tell the participants not to worry about it. All that matter was what went on TV, and backstage didn't except for a small part where the pre-quiz interviews were going to be held. That corner was immaculately clean, in stark contrast with the area around it.

 

Heather made her way to the dressing rooms. The makeup artist arrived just then, and after she put on her evening gown, of a deep green colour, she sat down to have her makeup adjusted. Although she didn't quite agree with everything the makeup artist did, she did not complain. She wasn't a makeup professional and therefore, she supposed, did not know that well. Fifteen minutes later, after even her hair was brought into shape she walked back towards the backstage area, where the first of the participants was just arriving.

[Wyvern]

"What did I miss?!" cried Wyvern, coming to a jolting halt as the dimensions of his costume clashed against the narrow backstage doorway. The overgrown lizard shook his head for a moment to clear his senses, then kneeled and side-stepped his way into the quarters. Heather raised a brow at the lizard's outfit, which consisted of a large metal locker with the words "Ladeez Only" scrawled in purple marker on the front. Wyvern waved his arms in front of himself, trying to make out details of the room through the thin vision slits of the locker door.

 

"Sssscuse me, could someone direct me to Heather Monsley's dressing room? I've got an urgent appointment as an, errr, interior locker janitor."

 

Heather Monsley frowned and placed a hand on her hip, glaring at the walking locker. She approached the odd figure in two long strides, and opened the locker with a swing of a hand. Her face went blank at the shocked expression on the face of the lizard hidden within.

 

"H-H-Heather." Wyvern's jaw hung loosely. "I, uhh, I jussst wanted to get your intellectual opinion on-"

 

Heather glanced at the interior of the locker door, only to blush upon noticing a poster of herself from when she posed in the Miss and Mister Student contest.

 

"That is, errrr-" Wyvern broke into a sweat, and reached for the belt of the locker suit only to drop a disposible camera. The gritted his teeth and hung his head for a moment with a low hiss. After an awkward silence, he extended a scaly claw.

 

"I mean- I'm Wyvern, the future winner of the Mighty Pen Quiz game show... autographs for 500?"

 

;-p

[Patrick]

Heather nearly laughed out loud. When Fred had told her about Wyvern he had not exaggerated, as she had first thought.

 

“Ah Wyvern.” she said, while gathering her thoughts, slightly put off balance by the reptilian elder’s arrival.

 

“Interior locker janitor.” she chuckled. It seemed that she had already had an effect on the almost dragon before they even met.

 

“That is a poster of me, you meant to say?” she announced, this more than she asked. “I’m not quite happy with that picture, as my hair wasn’t quite right on it. If you want I can give you a better one, just remind me after the show.” She smiled a knowing smile. “About you being the future winner, well I am sure that you shall try your best, as will all of the other participants and in the end the best one shall win.”

 

She went through her hair with a hand, putting a rogue lock of hair back in place.

 

“About the autograph, did you mean wanting to pay me?” She could not withhold her chuckle, and Fred came over to see what was happening. When he saw Wyvern and the poster he guessed most of what had come to pass in the last few minutes.

 

“Ah, Mr. Wyvern. Glad you could come. I am Fred Jickson, the organizer. Do you have any questions?” – he asked.

[Gwaihir]

"Durn it!" Gwaihir muttered "I really need to stop sleepwalking. It is so bloody annoying to wake up and not have a clue where you are."

He shrugged and took a left. Suddenly he found himself in a very complicated room with a lot of people dashing to and fro.

A pretty woman approached. "Have you come to participate in the show?" Gwaihir blinked. Well, no one was expecting him..why not. "Yes that sounds wonderful."

Someone on the other side of the room began gesturing for her to approach, so she turned to leave. "Well, we're very glad to have you. Fred Jickson, our host, will be here to greet you shortly. If you head that way there are a few refreshments."

Perfect, Gwaihir thought. After all this will be breakfast to me regardless of what time it is and I am hungry.

He tried to hurry carefully, but really metal pipes should not be left on the ground. He didn't quite fall headlong though, because he caught himself on some wood...wood covered in paint. "Hmm, that looks like the set" Gwaihir muttered. "oh well, they won't notice a handprint there I hope. Or at least if they do then no one will know it's me maybe."

He trotted off towards the donuts.

A few minutes later a maid wondered why the donuts were green, but no one told her.

[Sweetcherrie]

Looking around the set Dana noticed thing she’d never seen before. The lighting for example was all too bright, and totally unnatural. Why would anybody want something like this in their house? And what a weird house it was. There were too many people living here and they all seemed to walk around with boxes over their ears or in front of their shoulders. Then there was the fact that she hadn’t been able to find the fire, and the heat that was in the air felt as unnatural as the lighting. All in all, she didn’t feel at ease in the studio.

 

A woman who held a box against her ear, and who was talking rapidly approached her.

 

“One moment please.” she took the box away from her ear, and looked straight at Dana, “Are you a contestant?”

 

Dana nodded.

 

“Please follow me.”

 

The box went back to her ear and the woman started talking into it again. Dana wondered who she was talking to and what sort of creature was small enough to live in such a tiny box. She recalled having seen Sweetcherrie with one of those boxes once, and made a mental note to ask her about it.

 

They arrived at a door that had a sign on it that said ‘dressing room’ and the woman told her that she could wait in there until the stage assistant would come and get her. Bottles of what looked like water were standing in the corner and she decided to take a glass of that, but when she opened the bottle, a chemical smell rose up from it and as she took a closed look it seemed as if they had added something to it.

 

Dana shook her head, ‘Silly people, water is good enough on its own, why add things.’

 

She sat down, and closed her eyes to try and become one with the energy around her. It took her a while, but finally she picked up a nice fresh flow and mentally followed it outside. Dana guided her mind through forest and past mountain streams.

 

And suddenly she had an idea!

 

She would make this whole unnatural environment a lot better! Surely the people would be a lot happier if there were a few trees around, and if there was some proper water to drink.

 

Closing her eyes she focused on the trees that she had seen earlier and started summoning and crafting the manaflow at her will. When she finally opened her eyes again, sweat was pearling on her forehead, but she had done it. The dressing room was half filled with trees now, and in one corner a small waterfall of fresh mountain water was splashing down.

 

Even from the hallway she could hear excited screams, the people must be happy all over the place, seeing that she had placed trees in the rest of the studio as well. Dana smiled and cupped her hands under the waterfall to drink some water and refresh herself.

[Patrick]

"WHAT?? WHERE ARE ALL THE TREES FROM??" - Fred's voice could be heard from right next to Wyvern, who's ears received quite a vocal assault. The set technicians all stared at Fred, wondering themselves about the same question. Fred rushed to the set to survey the "damage", which had been done there.

 

 

The same woman came rushing in to see whether anything had happened to Dana when the trees "attacked". She was relieved to find her safe and sound, and led her backstage.

 

 

 

Heather motioned to Dave, one of the cameramen to come with her. She was going to do her first interview. She was slightly nervous, as she had never done this before, except in practice sessions with Fred. The sudden appearance of half a forest didn’t help either. She knew that in order for everything to be ready for the show, there was only very little room for mistake. She approached Dana, as she seemed at first glance to be quite sympathetic, and that was what Fred had told her to choose first. Someone who was going to be easy to interview. That probably meant leaving Wyvern to the end, as she had no idea how that interview would go.

 

She made out Dana’s form among the unused lighting equipment and motioned for her to come over.

 

“Hi I’m Heather. I’ll be the host for tonight’s show. I was wondering whether you would be available for a shortish interview before the show starts?” – she started when Dana came over. The camera behind her, in Dave’s expert hands was already running and was recording everything which was being said.

 

Dana looked curiously at the camera device and wondered what the guy was doing with the box on his shoulder, and didn’t like it one bit that something was stuck under her nose, but she stayed calm and nodded. In fact the person under the box seemed quite cute, nothing like the men where she came from of course (he simply missed the roughness), but still very attractive.

 

“Can he take his head out of that box as well?”

 

Heather smiled. She had been told that some of the participants were not what she would expect. She knew a bit of their backgrounds, and knew that Dana was not from this world.

 

“That box is a recording device, with it he can record what we are saying and then later we can have a look at it again.” – she explained, patiently.

 

Dana shook her head, surprised that there were still people using devices for that, then again she also knew that not everybody in this world was able to use the mana, or even feel it for that matter.

 

She nodded slowly. Personally she liked personal contact more, but if they thought that it was important to see her again and again through a box, who was she to stop them.

 

Dana hadn’t had any objections so far, she had even nodded, which she could interpret as an approval, so Heather guessed that she could go forward with the interview.

 

“Ok. Would you mind telling a bit about yourself, in generalities, so that the public shall be able to know a bit about you when they get here?”

 

“Err…”

 

The question was so open that she was lost with it. What would people want to know about her? Would they want to know about how she learned to summon things? Or would they possibly want to know about her home world? Dana hesitated and hoped that she looked confused enough for the girl to elaborate on her question a bit.

 

“Let me explain a bit. What we are recording now shall make a short video, an association between pictures and sound, which shall be shown to the public just before you enter on stage. So basically to introduce yourself the best would be to say your name, maybe a few things about your past, if you feel comfortable speaking about that, what you do now and that sort of stuff.” – Heather just hoped, that it was clear enough. If not, she would just have to explain more, or ask precise questions, then let the video editing team do most of the work.

 

“Right, well….my name is Dana, and I come from a different world. I got sucked into this one because…well, one moment I was there and the other I was here, they even thought I was Sweetcherrie for a bit. I….”

 

She hesitated, should she tell them how little she still knew about this world? It might give other contestants a head start. Then again it might give them a false idea of security, after all she wasn’t stupid either.

 

“I still have a lot to learn about your world, and hope that I will do well here, tonight.”

 

“Is that the main reason why you chose to participate?” – Heather asked. After all, one of the items on her checklist to acquire for the presentation of the participants was the reason why they were here. Not that she had the checklist with her now, Fred had been sure to have her memorise all that was on it.

 

“I simply thought it would be fun, and to be honest that price didn’t sound bad either.”

 

Heather once again ran over what Dana needed to say for the video, and then remembered the last thing.

 

“One more thing, before I let you chat with the others: ” – she said with a smile. “If you were to win, what would you do with the prize?”

 

Dana blushed here.

 

"I was thinking of using it to improve a bit on some of my spells, I'm a bit clumsy at times...."

 

Heather nodded. Magic was still quite a new concept for her, as she had lived a totally normal life, until up to three days ago. That day all she had learned had shocked her. She found out about magic, different worlds, wonderful creatures. She had realized then, how much of the world she had missed while being a simple art student.

 

“Thanks.” – she said to Dana, then turned to see Fred coming back from the set. As they had agreed previously, he was going to do the next interview, while Heather talked with the participants, making them feel at ease.

 

 

 

Fred was frantic. He knew that he couldn't simply get rid of all of the trees before the show started. He would just have to work with it. He had had to offer the construction crew a bonus for them to rearrange the lighting and the stage on time, but they had agreed to do it. He could hear them working behind him. Fred saw that Heather had finished interviewing Dana, and knew that the interview he had to do was next. He snaked his way through the trees backstage and went to his dressing room, to dress.

[Patrick]

Fred watched Heather walking towards the other participants. He could not help but like the girl. Fred had never married, and had never felt in love. Until now. But he did not know that yet, all he could feel was a strange feeling inside, which he could not yet explain. He fought down this feeling as he walked towards Gwaihir. He approached the elf, and as he got near he extended his hand, as was the custom there where he came from. Dave the cameraman was already recording what was going to be the third interview to be shown at the start of the quiz show.

 

Gwaihir looked confused. "I don't think I have any money on me. How much does it cost to be here? If it's cheap some friend of mine might loan it but I tend to forget to pay them back so maybe not too much.”

 

It was hard for Fred not to grin. He had tried studying the cultures of the participants, but it seemed that he had missed an important point here.

 

"Oh, no, no. I don't want any of your money dear friend. Shaking an others hand is a means of greeting each other in the society I come from, I did not realise that this was different there where you come from."

 

"Oh!" Gwaihir cheerfully grabbed Fred's hand as it retreated and squeezed ...perhaps a bit to hard but he figured it was better to look excited than unfriendly.

 

Fred grimaced as he felt the slightly wet hand nearly break his bones. Then as Gwaihir withdrew his hand, he could see that it wasn’t simple wetness, but paint on the elf’s hands. Along with some dirt. He restrained himself, and did not react to getting dirty.

 

“Thanks for having come to the quiz show.” – He said. “At the start of the quiz show we are going to be showing a short introductory video of the participants, so that the public can get to know them a bit. For this I would like to ask you a few questions.” Then he remembered what had happened during the prior interview. “Oh and before you ask a video is an association between pictures and sound, which can be looked at several times.”

 

"Well, I'm not really much to look at, but okay." Indeed Gwaihir was not just being modest. He was dressed as one might dress to do a hard day of messy outdoor labour and in fact multiple people had tried to throw him off the set at first.

 

"Thank you. So tell me: what was it that brought you here to the quiz show?"

 

“Honestly? I just made a wrong turn. Then someone invited me to stay.”

 

That wasn’t the answer Fred had been expecting at all, but the public would like it. He continued.

 

“I’m pretty sure that you are aware that there is a prize for the winner of the quiz show. What would you do with the prize, were you the winner?”

 

Gwaihir scratched his head and produced a small dirt shower. "Good question. Well...Probably buy a bigger garden plot maybe some trees. I've always wanted to get to know some trees.

 

Fred smiled. “Actually the prize is a book.”

 

“Even better! Honestly I don't know what to do with money. I usually just let pen friends be my banker. “Books are fun, the perfect thing to do when you want to rest out in a garden”

 

Fred wasn’t going to tell Gwaihir that the book wasn’t one you could just simply read, right now. There wasn’t enough time for that. If they wanted to get the show started on time, then the interviews also had to be finished on time.

 

“Ok, one more question. Who do you think has the best chance of winning the quiz show? If you don’t know, then I’ll tell you that the confirmed participants so far are Dana, Wyvern, Venefyxatu and you, while we also have two people who have signed up, we just don’t know who they are, though they might arrive any minute.”

 

“Well... I don't think it'll be Wyvern. He doesn't usually have any more luck than I do at these things. I'm going to bet on the unknowns because the less time one's spent at the pen the better for things like this--we're too weird we pollute people.” – Gwaihir replied.

 

Fred nodded. “Thanks for the interview.” – he said. He walked away, letting Dave give the tape to the video manip people, while he went to wash his hands and to get the set, finally set up the way he wanted it to be.

 

“Thank you.” Gwaihir smiled but he wished that Fred looked happier and hoped it wasn't his fault.

 

Two minutes later the reason for Fred’s unhappiness became apparent as his shouts from the set drifted backstage.

 

“I told you to set up that platform two meters further….I don’t care, just put it there, will you?”

[Patrick]

The Madame sailed through the door much like a galley sails into a harbour that's been built to accommodate small fishing vessels. Her deep blue robes, accentuated by a few kilos of golden jewellery moved just as majestically as she did when she approached the first person she saw.

 

“The Madame knows that you can give her directions.”

 

As soon as The Madame arrived Heather and a cameraman were nearly immediately next to her. The interviews had started running late, and they had to hurry them up if they wanted to leave a chance to the video editors to be able to cut all of the material before the show started.

 

"Ah Madame! We have been expecting your arrival!" - Heather said. "You have come to the right place if you were looking for the quiz show. I'm sorry that I don't have much time to explain, but due to some unfortunate time constraints we need to do an interview before I can explain things in detail. I hope this doesn't inconvenience you?"

 

“Of course not. The Madame understands better than anyone how much time can be a problem, because she very often has problems with is herself. That prize, if the geld part will happen, then it would, of course, be invested in the Pen through participation in another project.”

 

With a mysterious smile she added, “The item ... the Madame will have a special use for that.”

 

Heather nodded. She hated to admit it, but she was slowly starting to become nervous as the show approached. She didn't even question how the Madame had known the question she was just about to ask. Some people around here, she had come to expect, were going to surprise her.

 

"Ok...next question. Why did you sign up for the show?"

 

“Because it was in my fate to do so. The stars themselves spoke to me and told me that it was necessary.”

 

Suppressing her surprise at some of the answers was starting to become a reflex for Heather. She then remembered that she had forgotten a quite important part of the interview.

 

"Excuse me, but I seem to have forgotten something...would you mind telling us a bit about yourself?"

 

“Well, as you know, I am Madame Artsuhtaraz, greatest fortune teller on this world and probably three more. You may know me from the horoscopes in the Mighty Pen Gazette, and the advice I give to “Abby”, and you may call me Madame. I believe that that is all that matters for now?”

 

"Just one more question...would you use your fortune telling powers to find the answers of the quiz questions?"

 

The Madame got a somewhat insulted look on her face.

 

"Of course, the Madame would do no such thing!"

At least that answer was expected, Heather smiled to herself. She thanked the Madame and turned, looking for the next subject to interview.

 

Just as Heather turned, the Madame sailed past her, onwards to where she'd find the other waiting candidates. Now that she was here, she might as well get a look at the competition...

[Katzaniel]

Jhenrau Tyier was tiredly eating dinner - a vacuum-packaged, all-nutrients banana-flavoured blend - and feeling sorry for himself. He had once been a Captain of a great ship, and now they wouldn't even let him on the ships anymore. He knew that he had to tread carefully, avoid attention, but that was the trouble: he loved attention. He wanted the world to know him... but not as they did, not as a failed man. Still, he must resign himself to the life he'd earned.

 

Suddenly a portal appeared in the wall. Jhenrau was surprised, but not shocked. He had learned about portals in school. They were rare, caused by a mixture of magic with molecular disturbances on the quantum scale, and very dangerous. Of course, this world had no magic, but scientists well knew that other worlds - the worlds that could be reached only through portals like this one - had magic. They hypothesized that a portal could appear only between a magic and a non-magic world, but of course that could not be tested. They didn't even know for sure whether two non-magic worlds could be linked (you'd have to enter the portal, to find out, and then how do you get back to share the results?) but theory suggested they could not. Magic appeared to be a necessary ingredient to the portals.

 

But all this he thought in less than a second, for he also knew that portals were usually short-lived. Jhenrau hated his life, very much, and thought that nearly anything was better than what he had. So it didn't take much consideration for him to choose all those lights, and people, and cameras (these must be relatively science-primitive peoples), and noise - and trees, he saw, with wonder - and leave his dull, earth-bound days behind.

[Patrick]

Written by me

 

Heather looked around to see who, of the remaining two, she could interview. She had wanted to interview Wyvern as last, but she would have to interview him now, as the other contestant had not arrived yet. She sighed, and motioned to Dave to follow her, as she made her way through the vegetation to reach the reptilian elder.

 

 

 

Written by Wyvern

 

The chirping of the cicadas lost its resonance to the roaring currents of the waterfall as Heather and Dave approached the area where Wyvern had last been seen. Heather carefully lifted a vine and twisted her nose at a buzzing mosquito. She ducked her head, careful not to let the vine touch her fine hair, then let it fall into Dave's face. The large waterfall crashed down craggy cliffs into an ominous pool of rapids, like a feral jumbo-sized celebrity hot tub.

 

"Wyvern?" Heather scanned over the clearing while Dave panned out and filmed the nature scene, fufilling his secret ambition of making New Age music DVDs. A high-pitched squeal of distress caused the two explorers to turn.

 

"Haaaallllllllllllllllpppp!"

 

Heather squinted and covered her forehead with a hand as she glanced up in the direction of the studio lights. Her eyes widened as she spotted Wyvern near the top of the highest tree, clinging to an unstable branch that swayed up and down.

 

"Uuhhh, Dave?" Heather motioned with one hand, her eyes glued to the branch. "Could you, uhhh, could you help?"

 

"Arrrggghhh!" Wyvern snarled at the squirrel that made its way onto the branch. The tree limb creaked downward more as the squirrel began wapping its tail. content with the acorn it was eating. "G-g-get off, n-no room here!"

 

Dave set his camera down and moved to the base of the tree.

 

"Yaaaaaaaaa!" Wyvern cringed as a bird landed on his horn, causing the branch to creak again. The bird hopped onto the lizard's scaly head and sat there for a long moment, only to produce an egg. The branch swayed downward with a crack, half broken from weight. "Sh-sh-sshhhhhoo! Off off!"

 

Dave turned to Heather with a frown and held his hands out, not finding anyway up the tree.

 

"Eep." Wyvern froze up as the mosquito that had buzzed around Heather's face earlier began circling his head. He watched it buzz around idly for a moment, then shut his eyes as it landed on his other horn, causing the branch to snap.

 

"Aaaaaiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeee!"

 

Wyvern plummeted down the waterfall, only to land in the rapids below with a loud crack as the falling tree branch hit him over the head. He sank into the rapids unconscious, flailing his claws above the surface in one final last-ditch effort to find stable ground.

 

 

Written by me

 

“Get help!” – Dave shouted to Heather, as he stripped off his shirt, removed his pants and then jumped after the reptilian elder. Heather standing just a few feet away stood there rooted to the spot. It was only three minutes later, when Jeremiah, the second cameraman got there that she snapped out of her trance-like state.

 

Jeremiah was pointing at Dave’s equipment

 

“Where is…” he noticed Dave struggling below in the waters to hold up Wyvern’s head above the water. He didn’t even take off his clothes as he jumped over the edge. Five minutes later the two of them managed to half-drag, half-push the unconscious body to the shore, where Heather, who had in the meantime fetched Fred was waiting.

 

“Is he ok?” – she asked anxiously. Dave motioned to the onset doctor to walk over. After the short, bald man listened to the lizard’s heartbeat he pronounced that nothing was wrong, Wyvern had only swallowed a bit of water, and he should come to any moment.

 

“Heather, go and tell the guests, and then announce it to our public that the show shall be at least half an hour late.” – Dave asked her, and Heather did as she was told.

 

 

Written by Wyvern

 

Wyvern coughed and sputtered as he lifted himself from the pool surrounding him. His eyelids flickered open as he noticed the bald doctor curling up his stethoscope and placing it in his medical bag. The overgrown lizard jumped to his feet and raised a claw in a miraculous recovery of strength, pointing towards the doctor with an accusational cough.

 

"No hossspital bills!" The disgust on the lizard's face deepened as he looked over his soaked scales, dribbling water and trembling. "Yeesh, aren't there any towel bushes around here? What sorta fashion jungle is this anyway?"

 

Wyvern snatched a towel from Jeremiah, then pointed towards Dave.

 

"Ron-"

 

"Dave."

 

"Right. Dave, lissssten, if you see the Heather chick tell'er it was all a stunt to express my appreciation for her new picture offer." The lizard sneered and rubbed a claw on his chest. "The fact that a gigantic tree and a waterfall sprouted from the ground directly under me was purely coincidental. I'm gonna go freshen up before this thing starts, can't go waddlin' around like some amphibian when the quiz goes public after all. See you when I get firssst place."

 

With that, Wyvern began to dash away from the clearing, only to trip over a vine a few feet away from him and fall face first into a bramble bush. The lizard lifted himself from the bush, bowed to Dave and Jeremiah with a cringe, then ran out of the clearing in the direction of the dressing rooms...

[Patrick]

Half an hour later

 

 

The clapping of the crowd subsided and the cameras centered on Heather's smiling face.

 

"Ladies and gentleman! We are sorry about this technical delay, but everything has now been sorted out, and the show is ready to start!"

 

The bright overhead lights were dimmed until nearly switched off, and blue and green spotlights flashed across the scene.

 

"And here come the contestants!" - Heather announced, and on the overhead screen the Madame's face appeared. A silver-lettered text appeared, spelling out the question of why the Madame had signed up for the quiz.

 

"Because it was in my fate to do so. The stars themselves spoke to me and told me that it was necessary. That prize, if the geld part will happen, then it would, of course, be invested in the Pen through participation in another project. The item ... the Madame will have a special use for that." - her replicated image announced. As the short video finished, Fred motioned to the Madame that she could enter the stage. As the audience spotted her some of them began cheering and applauding. The Madame took her place behind the closest of the six hastily erected stands. Three of the original ones had been broken, when the trees suddenly leaped from the floor and Fred had decided to replace all of them.

 

The screen was lit up again, and this time it was Dana, who introduced herself.

 

"My name is Dana, and I come from a different world. I got sucked into this one because…well, one moment I was there and the other I was here. I still have a lot to learn about your world, and hope that I will do well here, tonight. I simply thought it would be fun, and to be honest that price didn't sound bad either. I was thinking of using it to improve a bit on some of my spells, I'm a bit clumsy at times...."

 

Dispersed laughter greeted the last sentence and was followed by applause as Dana entered and took her place next to the Madame.

 

"I just made a wrong turn. Then someone invited me to stay." Gwaihir's voice came from the speakers, while his cheerful face showed on the screen. Several members of the public started chuckling to themselves. "Honestly I don't know what to do with money. I usually just let pen friends be my banker. Books are fun, the perfect thing to do when you want to rest out in a garden."

 

Gwaihir walked in and stood next to Dana.

 

A single yellow spotlight focused on Heather.

 

"As I was saying we did have some technical problems, and it is due to these problems that we could not produce introduction videos for the remaining three contestants. It is therefore my honour and privilege to introduce them to you. First, we have the one and only, Almost Dragon, Elder of Initiates, Wyvern!"

 

The crowd, obviously oblivious to who Wyvern really was cheered loudly as the reptilian elder entered and took his place next to Gwaihir.

 

"Next up is Eda, of whom we do not know much, but please give her a very hearty welcome!"

 

"And finally we have Jhenrau Tyier, who arrived only recently on this planet. Let's all give him a very warm welcome!"

 

Jhenrau walked in and stood at the last available spot. Six parallel beams of light shone on the contestants, illuminating each of them, standing there in a semi-circle around Heather.

 

In her long, silver dress, decorated with pearls, Heather looked possibly even more beautiful than when she had won the Pageant. The camera centered in on her smiling face, as she announced:

 

"Let the show begin!"

 

Thunderous applause greeted the announcement, and all lights dimmed on the scene.

 

"The first two to compare their knowledge are..." The sound of drums rolling emerged from the speakers for several seconds. "Wyvern!" A red light shone on the almost dragon. "aaaand...Jhenrau Tyier!" A blue light shone on Jhenrau.

 

"Please step forward, both of you, next to me here." - Heather indicated. Jhenrau went and stood on her left side, while Wyvern stood on the right.

 

"Our two contestants shall now choose the two topics from which both of them shall receive 4-4 questions each! And remember everyone two extra questions from other topics shall also be presented to them, making a total of ten."

 

"And here are the topics!"

 

On a large screen, partially hidden by a tree, twelve topics appeared.

 

 

 

Dreams	Current Age	Computers/Technology
Music	Science-Fiction	Origin of Foodstuffs
Horoscopes	Plants	Famous Pennites
Famous Elves	Great Discoverers/Inventors	Medieval Times

"Wyvern, and Jhenrau, each of you now need to choose a topic!"

Edited January 29, 2006 by Patrick Durham

[Patrick]

Jhenrau, smoothing a crease in his clothes was the first to pronounce his decision.

 

"I shall take..." but he could not finish as Wyvern interrupted him.

 

"Horoscopes!" the lizard shouted, pointing a scaly claw at the list of topics. Heather nodded, and motioned Jhenrau to continue.

 

"As I was saying" Jhenrau pointedly stared at Wyvern for a second "I shall take Computers/Technology/Science Fiction. That's a topic I might know at least a bit about."

 

Heather motioned for the two current players to step forward, one on each side of her. The lights dimmed, and only the faint shimmer of a projector projecting the chosen topics on the large screen could be seen.

 

"Two more topics have been chosen to make a total of ten questions!" Heather announced, a pale blue light illuminating her matching colour robe. "There shall be one question each from History and Music!"

 

Matching colour lights illuminated at first Wyvern and then Jhenrau.

 

"Are both of you ready?" Heather asked.

 

"Yes!" Wyvern said, already daydreaming, imagining the pile of geld he could win. Jhenrau simply nodded.

 

Drums rolled, as music came from the speakers and after a few seconds the first question appeared on the screen. Heather read it aloud.

 

"Which of the following is not a synonim of horoscope? Natus, birth chart, astrogram, cosmogram, nativity, vitasphere or radix?"

 

Wyvern broke from his daydream and slammed his claw on the buzzer.

 

"International scheming for 500!"

 

Heather frowned and stared at the reptilian Elder in silence. She cleared her throat as the sound of crickets echoed from the quiet crowds.

 

"Wyvern... I'm afraid you'll have to answer the question. You know, the one I just asked?"

 

"Oh." Wyvern crumpled the Heather doodle on his counter and shoved it under his seat. His eyes turned towards a screen that Heather was frantically motioning towards with her head. "Hmmm... horoscopes, where have I heard of those things before...?"

 

Heather raised a brow. "You, uhh, you chose it as your subje-"

 

Wyvern slammed his claw down on the buzzer twice.

 

"Gonna have to go with vitasssphere™ on this one, Heather. None o' those other one's are patented, so it's only natural that they be put into horror vision with those awful nativity birth charts." *shiver*

 

During this time Jhenrau had plenty of time to think of his answer, and he announced it in a much softer voice. The technician decided to adjust the volume output from the microphone fixed to Jhenrau's shirt so that he could be more easily heard.

 

"I'm not exactly sure, but I'd guess that the odd one out, the one, which is not a synonim of horoscope would be nativity." he ventured.

 

"Now that we have both of the answers let us see what the real answer was!"

 

The question faded from the screen, and was slowly replaced by a single word.

 

ASTROGRAM

 

As she received the instructions in the earpiece, Heather explained.

 

"Astrogram was a project by NASA, not a synonim for horoscope. Unfortunately that means that both of you are wrong. Next quest-"

 

"Butbutbut..." Wyvern stammered. "I was closer wasn't I? I mean I had three letters: a, s and t from the answer, while he only had two, a and t." he said pointing at Jhenrau. "Shouldn't I get the point?"

 

Heather shook her head. "I'm sorry, but we can only accept fully correct answers for this question."

 

Soft music played this time as the next question appeared on the screen before Wyvern had a chance to argue any further.

 

"When describing relative angles between planets what angle does the Quincunx represent?" Heather read the question. She herself had no idea of the reply to this question, as had been the case with the first one.

 

"Wait, you sure this isn't a typo? Not 'angel'...?" Wyvern asked, interrupting again before Jhenrau had a chance to speak.

 

Heather glanced at her wristwatch and tapped her foot on the ground as she waited for a proper response.

 

"Hmph." Wyvern hesitated, then laid his claw on the buzzer. "The right angle to kick your ass if you should tamper with its underwear collection, shiny tiara, or pet lich?"

 

Jhenrau finally managed to push his buzzer and announce his answer.

 

"My guess is the Quincunx represents ninety degrees, and I'm nearly sure of my answer."

 

The answer appeared almost immediately on the screen. "One hundred and fifty?" Wyvern asked. "That's not right."

 

"I'm afraid it is, Wyvern. Both of you were however wrong, as a right angle is the same as ninety degrees. Next question is" she waited the few seconds for the answer to fade and the question to appear.

 

"In the Tropical Zodiac the astrological year begins with the Vernal Equinox. True or false?"

 

This time Jhenrau managed to get in first and though Wyvern stared at him, he continued unabashed and announced his guess.

 

"My guess is that the statement is true." he said "Although" he stroked his chin "It is a complete guess."

 

"Hmmm, I see a pattern here." Wyvern raised a claw to his chin in contemplation. "Vernal Equinox, Quincuinox... lunar eclipse, the 666th, may or may not-"

 

Wyvern broke into a grin and swat the buzzer.

 

"None of the above!"

 

Heather, Jhenrau, and the audience all stared at Wyvern in utter confusion.

 

"What...?" Wyvern frowned and shifts in his seat, then snapped a claw. "Ooohh, right, sorry. What is 'None of the above.'"

 

Still unsure of how to get out of the situation, Heather was relieved to hear Fred's voice in her ear.

 

Just give the point to Jhenrau. He gave the right answer didn't he?

 

Heather absently nodded, then did as she had been told.

 

"Jhenrau has the right answer. This means that he has one point."

 

In the bottom left corner of the screen the names of Wyvern and Jhenrau appeared and a golden bar, with the number one written inside it appeared above the once-famed captain's name.

 

Wyvern seemed to be transfixed by the golden colour, could not take his eyes off it. It shined almost as geld would have, and in his wishes the reptilian elder envisioned a large pile of geld of the same colour.

 

"When was the earliest known horoscope recorded?" Heather said, again snapping Wyvern out of his daydreaming. She continued as extra instructions arrived from Fred. Tell them that whoever is closer wins. Heather did so.

 

Wyvern in an attempt to get the correct answer earlier than Jhenrau was again first, his scaly claw almost smashing the buzzer, so hastily his elbow descended to press it. A few birds flew up from the trees called by Dana, but settled back down a few seconds later upon seeing that the noise was not threatening them. One of them even settled on Wyvern's snout, but the almost dragon brushed the avian away. With an annoyed squawk the bird returned to the branch on which it had been perching beforehand.

 

"I'm gonna have to say the Racouolettes' 'My Horoscope Says Lady Luck doesn't like me,' first recorded in Terra Age VII on a titanium steel gramaphone. Produced by yours truly."

 

Wyvern leant back in his seat with a confident gleam on his face, then sat up and tapped a claw on his counter.

 

"Though truth be told, while I was closer to the Racouolettes than Jhenreraurin or whatever his name is, I ssstill don't really get the point of the question."

 

Before Heather had a chance to clarify, Jhenrau pressed his buzzer and made a wild guess.

 

"Four hundred and forty four. That is if we've already passed that year." he said. Coming back from the future had the inconvenient of being completely unaware of what time it was. Heather nodded, acknowledging that 444 had indeed already passed.

 

Even before Heather had a chance to acknowledge that Jhenrau had been closer (Fred had estimated that 444 AD was closer to 409 BC than Terra Age VII), the golden bar above Jhenrau's name doubled in size, and the number one was replaced by an equally shiny number two.

 

"Fifth question!" Heather said, ignoring Wyvern's strange answers, as Fred's suggestions went. "Is from the next topic. In computing what does VPN abbreviate?" Heather being an art major had absolutely no clue as to what the answer to this question was, but luckily she did not need to know the answers in order to host the show. She dreaded what could happen if the earpiece mysteriously died, but knew that in this age of technology the chances of that were quite slim.

 

"Oh!" Wyvern laughed and slammed on the buzzer immediately. "Well, thisss one's just easy! Very Pornographic Netscape."

 

Jhenrau, coming from a much more technological age, took longer to think about the answer.

 

"Virtual Pointer Node?" he ventured at last.

 

"Unfortunately both of you were wrong. The answer is Virtual Private Network." Heather announced after the necessary wait and dramatic music.

 

"So we have finished the first half of the quiz match between the two of you. And after the first five questions, Jhenrau is in the lead by two right answers to zero." Heather turned to face the camera. "Tune in shortly after the break for the rest of the quiz show!"

 

[Patrick]

The break was but a short one, and Heather had been told to make it, because due to a branch leaning onto the wires from one of the trees, there was a danger of the wires snapping and possibly causing a fire. The wires were moved and the show could continue.

 

"Sixth question. Wyvern and Jhenrau I wish you luck for these remaining questions!"

 

"Who was the first science-fiction author to win both the Hugo and Nebula awards?"

 

Jhenrau was faster on this one, having read works of Asimov, on the cover of which he had seen the words winner of Hugo and Nebula awards printed.

 

"My guess is Isaac Asimov." he said, hoping that he was right.

 

Wyvern wavered in front of his counter, then proceeded to bang his head several times on the buzzer, causing a sharp ring of static to pierce the sebsitive ears of the audience.

 

"Gonna have to go with the Mighty Pen's own Aardvark for this one. The Hugo van der Goes Award™ wasss pretty much in the bag for him, and we all know he's bound to win the Nebula award with the dreadnaughts and the chalkboard that offed Titanus on his side."

 

"There were two acceptable answers for this question, as in 1966 two authors, having previously won Hugo awards won the first Nebula award. They were Frank Herbert for Dune, and Daniel Keyes for Flowers for Algernon. Asimov only won in 1973, so seven years later."

 

"Typed in a Linux command prompt, what does 'ls' do?" Heather had absolutely no idea what this question meant, and, it seemed, neither did Wyvern.

 

*bzzzt!*

 

"It acts as the verb 'to be' in the present tense for the Lynux." Wyvern sneered to the crowds, then leant in to his microphone. "Let'sss just hope the Antelopuxs have left the area."

 

Jhenrau did seem to have some recollections however, and nearly got the right answer.

 

"List settings?"

 

"Nearly." Heather said, upon hearing the answer to the question in her earpiece. "It lists the contents of the active directory."

 

"Eighth question. How many laws of robotics did Aasimov describe in his books?"

 

Wyvern striked at the buzzer.

 

"Jussst one." Wyvern's forked tongue rolled from his mouth as a grin made its way across his face. "The unintentional law of robotic writing. HAH!"

 

Wyvern's smug sneer shifted to a grimace as a robot's arm was tossed at him from the audience. The metallic appendage ricocheted off of the floor and narrowly missed Heather and Jhenrau, bouncing past Wyvern and doing a flip in the air before landing in Dana's lap. From the audience, a voice screams:

 

"Just because that Hollywood adaptation of "I Robot" sucked doesn't mean that Aasimov did!"

 

"I'm not really sure." Jhenrau started. "I have read some of his books, but I don't recall the exact number of laws. I definitely recall three of them, but I'm not sure whether there had been a fourth." The concentration was visible on Jhenrau's face.

 

"I need a final answer." Heather said after half a minute passed without Jhenrau speaking again.

 

"I'll go with three then." the ex-captain said.

 

"The answer is four, since after creating his original three laws of robotics, Asimov created a Zeroth law later."

 

"And with that we finish this topic and now shall have a question from the world of music. If you don't manage to answer right now Wyvern, then unfortunately you shall have lost."

 

A haunting guitar theme started playing and was sporadically accompanied by drums. A voice started singing, and a question appeared on the screen.

 

Which of these bands sung the lyrics

 

You won't find it here

Look another way

You won't find it here

So die another day

Dream Theater, Metallica, Iron Maiden, Jethro Tull, Haggard or Opeth?

 

Wyvern turned and swatted the buzzer with his tail stinger.

 

"I could definitely see an iron maiden singing that." Wyvern rapped his claws on his counter. "After all, people won't find what they're looking for once they notice it's iron, unless they're doing a Dominatrix dungeon inventory or something. Plusss, it ain't dying until until Almost Dragonic Inc. comes through searching for something too steel."

 

"I'll have to go with a complete guess here, so let it be Jethro Tull." Jhenrau said, his hands gently pressing his buzzer. He hoped that Wyvern was wrong.

 

"The answer was Dream Theater." Heather announced, and Wyvern's expression immediately turned several shades sadder than what it had been. His dreams had just been shattered, and the pile of geld he had imagined would remain only that. Imaginary.

 

Jhenrau did not gloat, he knew that that would not be seen too well.

 

"We still have another question. From history. Which country's capital was captured in 1526 by the Turks?" Heather asked.

 

Despite having no more chance of winning, Wyvern was the first to reply to the question. He smashed the buzzer with his claw, finally cracking it in a final *bzzzzt* of sparks.

 

"I remember it all too well." Wyvern's lower lip trembled. "In the country of Zool's Portrait, the Chicken Shack was ruthlessly invaded. The turkeys came from all angles, using the paintings frame as trenches, and the Shack eventually lost hope. The shack has since become known as the "chicken Shack," though the lost capital is still being searched for to this day."

 

"Country?" Jhenrau asked, puzzled. He had no idea what countries existed around this time and decided to go with the one, which also existed in his time, hoping that it existed in this time he had arrived in. "China?" he said finally, with a lot of hesitation in his voice.

 

"The correct answer is Hungary." Heather announced. "Final results for Jhenrau versus Wyvern have not changed since the first half, and I can only congratulate Jhenrau for winning two zero in a very close matchup. Next up is Dana versus Gwaihir. Step forward and choose your topics from the remaining ones!"

 

As the lights showed the two contestants, and hid Heather she picked her microphone and softly requested the buzzer Wyvern had used to be replaced.

Edited February 26, 2006 by Patrick Durham

[Patrick]

"Ladies and gentleman." Heather's voice sounded clear, as the single spotlight shone on her, creating a large shadow on the bark of the tree behind her. "Please excuse us for this slight delay, as we sort out some technical problems. In the meantime, let us take a short interlude, while our next two contestants, Dana and Gwaihir tell us a bit more about themselves."

 

Dana stepped forward, her tall frame closely matching Heather's own height, her dark-brown hair providing an interesting contrast to Heather's lighter coloured strands. For most of the men in the audience it was a visual treat to see these two beautiful women next to each other, although they would never admit that to their wives or boyfriends.

 

Heather handed Dana the microphone, surprising her much less this time than an hour earlier. Still Dana blinked, when she heard her own voice magnified several times resonating among these beautiful trees she had called.

 

"What can I say?" Dana started, her velvet voice sounding surprisingly pleasant through the amplification. "I have pretty much already told you about myself during my introduction, but if you really want to know some more, well...without going much into my history, which I'm sure we don't have time to tell, I have been through quite a lot of things: I have lived with a nomad tribe, received training from them. Since I arrived here I haven't had the chance to make many friends yet, but I hope to be able to do so."

 

Fred reported to Heather that the repairs were nearly finished, and understanding what Fred wanted her to do, Heather called Gwaihir next to her, letting him also talk a bit about himself.

 

"I am also somewhat unfamiliar with some of the customs here." Gwaihir said, thinking back to the handshaking incident with Fred not so long ago. Gwaihir glanced at Heather, wondering whether what he had said was enough. He guessed from her gaze that it was not and added: "I also really like plants, and that is why I shall choose them as my subject."

 

Heather held the microphone for Dana, so that she could now also announce her subject.

 

"I shall be taking dreams."

 

Unannounced, the lights dimmed as the screen and the computer behind it proceeded to randomly determine the two other subjects Dana and Gwaihir would receive one-one question of. The two topics shining in golden letters from the screen were famous elves and medieval times.

 

"And without any further ado, let the second quiz begin!" Heather announced, her robe swirling as she turned to face the two contestants.

 

"First question is from the topic of plants: As of 2004, how many species of plants have been identified? Let me remind you that whoever is closer to the actual answer gets the point here."

 

Neither of the two contestants pushed their buzzer, unfamiliar with the function that it served, since no one had told them that they needed to do so.

 

Dana wondered how she was supposed to know this, and which plane he was talking about. She loved nature, but this question was rather funny to ask to someone not coming from this plane. Oh well, she would simply guess it, and see whether she would be close or not.

 

"About 30?"

 

Gwaihir was pretty sure that this was a tricky question, and replied with a question of his own.

 

"By whom? The plants know each other completely."

 

Heather was caught off guard by the question, but managed to get a rather coherent reply.

 

"By us...humans."

 

"Oh." Gwaihir brushed his hair sending flecks of dust flying through the glare of the light shining on him. He counted on his fingers, for the species of plants he knew, and then replied. "I guess there are at least more than the thirty Dana has said."

 

"As of 2004, 287,655 species of plants have been catalogued by humans." Heather announced. "Thus, the point goes to Gwaihir."

 

"Second question: Photosynthesis consists mainly of carbon-dioxyde being converted into oxygen in a plant's cells. True or false?"

 

"The plants say that t hey breathe in a mix of stuffs and the poof out the useless stuff so that we can breathe it." Gwaihir explained.

 

"Does that mean true or false?" Heather asked.

 

"Well, the question sounds sort of like what I said, so I guess true."

 

Dana knew that plants used sunlight to feed themselves, and also that they made oxygen, but if this was the main part of photosynthesis….probably not.

 

"False."

 

The answer appearing on the screen was true, and Heather explained. "The most important part of photosynthesis consists of carbon dioxyde and water being converted into a carbohydrate and oxygen." She breathed a barely audible sigh after pronouncing all of those strange chemical expressions. "Gwaihir leads by two points to zero."

 

"The next question is about seaweed. What colour can seaweed be?"

 

Again it was Gwaihir who replied first. Both buzzers laid untouched, but it did not bother Heather, and from the silence in her earphone it did not bother Fred either.

 

"I have seen many: red yellow green. There may be more but it is hard because I coudl not ask the seaweed. You see, I have never learned their language. It seems to be all bubbles and I am unable to bubble. The fishes know the language of seaweed but I do not speak fish."

 

Funny question that was, Dana thought, probably about any colour depending on where you would find it.

 

“Green, red, yellow, black (when it’s rotting).”

 

That would have to do, she could go into things like light-green and pinkish, but these were probably the main colours.

 

"From your answers I can accept green and red. Other possible colours were brown and blue, although the latter is quite rare. That means that both of you get two extra points, bringing the score to four-two."

 

"With that we arrive at the last question of the category. How do you call the fossilized resin produced by some plants?"

 

Heather was struck by a spell of irony. It was really interesting that she had no idea of the replies to the questions, but that she was the one who always gave the correct answers thanks to the answer sheets he was holding.

 

Dana blinked in reply to the question and made a hesitant guess: "Stone?"

 

"I call it a mummy." Gwaihir said without hesitation.

 

"And the correct answer is: amber, which is also used as a precious stone in jewels."

 

"Now we shall have a single question from the category of famous elves. This question comes from a book by a very well known author: Who was Beren's beloved?"

 

Gwaihir, being an elf himself easily remembered the answer to this question.

 

"Luthien. My grandmother says Luthien's in our family tree, but we suspect she's just name-dropping."

 

Dana also replied without wasting any time. The bard songs clearly came to her mind; that poor Beren had loved Esmeralda for ages, at least in her world.

 

"Esmeralda."

 

"The point once again goes to Gwaihir, meaning that at half time we have Gwaihir leading five points to two."

 

No break was scheduled in the middle of this quiz, enough time had already been wasted with the repairs.

 

 

OOC: the only break is between the two halves of this post. Other half to follow in the coming days.

[Patrick]

The music changed, and the lights turned a pleasant shade of blue, as Heather announced the topic change.

 

"Without any further ado, let us proceed to the topic chosen by Dana: dreams!" Heather's dress looked magnificient in this lighting.

 

"Sixth question: What does R.E.M. abbreviate?"

 

Ah, now this was Dana's territory.

 

“Rapid Eye Movement.” she answered without hesitation.

 

Gwaihir followed with a reply of his own.

 

"'Real English Malcontents' They're a very exclusive club of English roses and only the most purebred snob is allowed in."

 

"Dana gets it right, bringing the score to five-three!" Heather said, and continued with the same breath. "Let's go right on to the next question, which is a pretty easy one. How do you call the scientific discipline of dream research?"

 

"What do I call it? Boring." Gwaihir replied, loooking quite bored in fact.

 

Dana smiled. She was getting easy points.

 

"Oneirology", she correctly replied.

 

"With that correct answer from Dana the score is now five-four and Gwaihir's early lead has melted to but one point. Will Dana catch him in her own area of specialty?"

 

"The eighth question is once again about R.E.M., but in connection with animals this time. Which is the animal with the longest average periods of REM sleep?"

 

Now that was quite an interesting question. Heather had heard a bit about what R.E.M. sleep really was, but she hadn't known that animals could also have it.

 

"Too much I suspect! But what animal could be said to possess a club of roses? A bee perhaps. But who's ever heard of a sleeping bee? They can't sleep more than an hour or two a day." Gwaihir replied. Heather guessed that his answer was bees.

 

Dana had only studied dreamstates with humans and humanoids, it had never interested her too much what animals dreamt, but if she thought of the watchfulness of Zena, it could well be that…

 

“Cats?”

 

Heather had to look at her answer sheet twice to see whether she really had the right answer.

 

"The correct answer is the armadillo."

 

Now wasn't that a pretty obscure fact? she thought.

 

"Last question from this category: What does a cat mostly dream about?"

 

"More sleeping?" Dana prompted.

 

"Mice and mayhem?" was Gwaihir's guess.

 

"While your answer is close Gwaihir, I can not accept it. Cats seem to mostly dream about chasing their prey and playing with it."

 

"Before the last question, Gwaihir still retains his lead of five points compared to Dana's four. Dana you only have one more question in which you can catch Gwaihir! And that last question is from medieval times: In which century was the term Middle Age first coined by the italian humanist, Flavio Biondo?"

 

Dana thought back to the history classes she’d had when she was younger, and wondered whether the period from 250 to 550 before the great storm, or the 100 years that the sun stayed away were meant. She had heard something about the ‘middle ages’ also being called the ‘dark ages’, so she went with the last one. But then who the hell was Flavio Biondo?

 

Hmmm…the sun had left around 1680 and had come back around 1770, so it would probably have been afterwards.

 

“1820?”

 

"Dana guesses the 19th century! What is your answer Gwaihir?"

 

"I have no idea. Sixteenth?" he said, making a wild guess.

 

"The term "Middle Age" ("medium ævum") was first coined by Flavio Biondo, an Italian humanist, in the early 15th Century" Heather announced. "Congratulations Gwaihir, you have won six-four in a quiz, which was exciting right until the end!"

 

A greenish spotlight focused on Gwaihir, showing the elf happily smiling at his victory. Heather was already preparing for the next contestants, busily reading the notes on the card in front of her, while she was not in the center of attention.

 

After a few seconds though the beam of light shone on her.

 

"Ladies and gentleman, the time has come for the last of the first round mathcups, which shall see Eda face off against the Madame! Ladies please join me on the stage, and choose a topic you wish to have your questions from."

[Venefyxatu]

As soon as she heard her name, the Madame sailed up on the stage and made an elaborate bow to the crowd. She had to rearrange herself somewhat, and while doing so she noticed Celina sitting in the crowd. With another dignified nod to her friend, the Madame turned to Heather just in time to hear her ask what topic the Madame would choose.

 

"The Madame knows that she should take Current Age, but her horoscope told her not to trust her gut feelings today, so she shall be taking Medieval Times."

 

Then she folded her arms across her chest, which took quite some coordination, and waited for Eda's choice.

[Patrick]

Eda speedily hurried over next to her stand, not wanting to appear lesser than the Madame. Her movements were unnaturally fluid for someone of her age, showing that age had treated her kindly in this aspect. She looked steadily at the Madame, and then half out of defiance, half out of thinking that she would give more correct answers on the subject, she announced her choice.

 

"I shall be taking Current Times as my topic," she said in a soft and controlled voice.

 

"Let the last first round quiz commence!" Heather announced as beams of light raced over the scene and drums rolled.

 

Words appeared on the screen in shining red letters, forming the first question, coming from the topic of the Madame's choice.

 

"In 820 AD, which Empire occupied the territory, which today is Germany?" Heather read aloud.

 

"The Madame had once seen in a magazine that this was the Holy Ottoman Empire. Incidentally, this very same magazine mentioned the discovery of water on Venus, something she rather doubts," the Madame announced in her distant voice, so different from that of Eda. This was a quiz between two women, but their personalities were so different.

 

Eda fingered the bones and feathers worn on the necklace around her neck as she replied.

 

"I am pretty sure that it was the Osmanische Reich."

 

Heather, who wasn't versed in German awaited the translation coming in her earpiece before announcing the correct answer.

 

"Today's Germany was in the year 820 occupied by the Frankish Empire."

 

The red letters faded, and were replaced by bright green ones, as the next question spelled itself out on the screen.

 

"Well it seems that our random question generator is favouring the Franks lately as our next question is also connected to them. Who was Charlemagne's son?"

 

"Charlemagne Jr." Eda said, outwardly sure of the answer, as she did not want to seem to be unsure of herself, not when she had the reputation of wise old woman to defend against the Madame.

 

The Madame was so dumbfounded that it took her at least a full minute to press the button.

 

"He had a daughter, not a son," she finally muttered.

 

"Yet again, neither answer is right. Charlemagne's son was Louis the Pious. Third question from this topic: "What percentage of Europe's population did the Black Death outbreak between 1347 and 1351 kill?"

 

"That's an easy one," the Madame nodded, "exactly 64.14159265358979."

 

It took her quite a few seconds to utter all of those decimal points, by which time Eda had already made her mind up about the answer, halving her initial estimate.

 

"One-third of the population perished during that period."

 

*dingdingding* Bells sounded as the first correct answer of the matchup was given, and a point awarded to Eda.

 

"Indeed one third is closer to the real percentage than 64 percent," Heather said, purposefully cutting short all of the decimal points, which she did not realise were the decimal points of a very famous mathematical number. "Of course the exact percentage of deaths is not known, but general consensus puts the figure around 33%. And with that Eda takes the lead, with the first point of this quiz!"

 

"Moving on; last question from this topic before we have a question from the origin of foodstuffs!"

 

This time the lettering on the screen was a blend of dark and light blue in swirling patterns.

 

"In which year did Constantinople fall?"

 

The Madame hit the button at roughly the speed of light. "He fell several times, in fact ... broke his leg several times, too. Always the right leg, poor man. But I assume you mean the time he fell to the Legions of Hell he was so bravely fighting, which happened when he was 32."

 

"Actually the question refers to Constantinople the city," Heather clarified. Eda snorted at the Madame's incompetence, for she had full well known the real nature of the Constantinople referred to in the question.

 

"Questions here are not clear enough..." the Madame muttered softly, before announcing her guess. "In the year 1314 of the Christian reckoning."

 

Eda's colourful robes swished in the blue light coming from the screen and the projectors as she announced her answer.

 

"It was much closer to the year 100."

 

The correct answer, 1453, slowly appeared on the screen, bringing cheers from the Madame's supporters, while a hushed silence from those sympathising with Eda.

 

"And the score is equal once again! One point each, and here is the last question before the break!"

 

"Which country does couscous originate from?"

 

With a slightly dreamy look, the Madame answered, "Mmmm ... couscous ... I remember like it was yesterday. My third boyfriend took me all the way to Morocco on our first date, to this little restaurant he knew ..."

 

She trailed off as some of the audience quietly slipped out of the room, going early for the break, not really interested in the Madame's past love life.

 

"Ethiopia," Eda announced in her soft voice, sounding quite sure of herself.

 

"Neither answer is correct I'm afraid!" Heather said. "The acceptable answers were: Niger, Mali, Mauritania, Ghana and Burkina Faso, even though nowadays the food is considered to be the primary staple food of the Maghreb countries."

 

"Dear spectators and contestants, now we shall take a short break, but don't go away. We'll be back soon to continue this quiz, where with an even score nothing is decided yet!"

[Patrick]

During the break Heather's hairdo, which had slowly started falling apart needed to be fixed, during which Dave gave Heather a few bits of advice.

 

"Don't just give the dry facts...more animation...treat the ladies with respect..."

 

"Welcome back dear spectators, guests and of course our two contestants: the Madame and Eda!" she announced as the two women came back from opposite sides of the scene and took their places next to their respective buzzers.

 

"Our next topic is the one Eda has chosen, Current Times! Firstly I would like to thank our official newsprovider the BBC, from which the facts about the recent events, which inspired our questions were taken from."

 

"First question of this topic: Which Lybian colonel are IRA victims going to sue for him and his country providing explosives for bomb attacks?"

 

"Ly-wha?" the Madame said, and that was all she provided as an answer for the question.

 

"I remember seeing this," Eda said, trying hard to remember what she had read or heard. After about a minute of racking her brain, she unfortunately had to announce, "but I can't remember right now. I'm sure it will come later."

 

"The answer was Colonel Gadaffi, who is accused of being the supplier of several deadly bombing attacks carried out by the Irish Republican Army."

 

The lights became warmer showing that the next question was about a much less serious topic.

 

"In which East-Asian country is a rare dolphin reserve going to be built?" Heather asked, repeating the words appearing on the screen in green letters.

 

"China," Eda simply said, completely sure of the correctness of her answer.

 

The Madame nodded sagely, "China. There is more China than anything else there, so it must be China. Or was that more Chinese than anything else?"

 

"Both of you are right! It is indeed China that, in an effort to preserve the ever rarifying breed of dolphins, is funding this project."

 

"Our next question is once again about China, but in a completely different way. Which snooker player won this year's China Open?" To Heather it seemed that this was the hardest question of the tournament so far, but considering that she knew nearly nothing about sports, she was not a totally impartial observer.

 

"See? There's China again! It must've been more China than anything else, not more Chinese than anything else!", the Madame replied. "The question? Ahh, yes ... " At this point the Madame's eyes rolled up to reveal nothing but the white, and she seemed to be suffering from a slight epileptic attack. Just as someone was about to panic she yells, "Steve Henry!" and returned to normal, blinking once and not remembering that she had spoken.

 

"Stephen Hendry you mean?" Heather asked following the prompt given in her ears by Dave.

 

Realising that she must have spoken while in a trance, the Madame could do nothing but nod, hoping that she had given the correct answer.

 

"It was probably some guy called James," Eda said, "but how would I know? Snooker is a slow and boring sport. Who would watch that?"

 

"I am sorry to say that neither answer is right, the winner of this year's China Open was a welshman, called Mark Williams."

 

"And we have reached our penultimate question of the first round quizzes, and the last question before we move on to great discoverers and inventors. Which member of the British Royal Family was recently seen in a strip club?"

 

"It must have been Charles, he had even cheated on Diana when she was still alive. I could imagine him visiting such an establishment," was Eda's answer,

 

"Wasn't the Queen Mother performing last week?" the Madame answered quite disrespectfully towards the old lady.

 

"It was Charles' son, Prince Harry, who visited a strip club upon his graduation from the military academy of Sandhurst."

 

"And thus comes the last question, which shall have to decide the outcome of this matchup!" Eda shot a long glance at the Madame, aiming to unbalance her. "Who invented the telephone?"

 

"Edison," Eda said, remembering him to be a great inventor.

 

The Madame took longer in thinking, recalling old souvenirs from the days when she was still young.

 

"The Madame calls him AGB, who, like the KGB, used to B. Most people, however, call him Alexander Graham Bell."

 

"That is the correct answer," Heather announced. "Congratulations Madame, with a score of three points to two you are through to the next round!"

 

Heather lifted her hand up to silence the upcoming applause.

 

"Before you celebrate the Madame's victory, I'd like to tell you Eda, and both of our previous losers, Wyvern and Dana, that they should not despair yet, for we are going to give them another chance at joining our three winners. We shall have a quiz with our three losers participating, and whoever comes out the winner, shall compete alongside Jhenrau, the Madame and Gwaihir for the final prize!"