Elvina Posted September 12, 2005 Report Posted September 12, 2005 (edited) Hi all. For reasons such as publishing and First Rights, I've just removed my prologue from this board. That's not to say I don't like it here or anything - it's just a personal choice. Thanks to those of you who have responded to this. :tu: Elvina Edited November 10, 2005 by Elvina
reverie Posted October 5, 2005 Report Posted October 5, 2005 sorry been busy... plus it's a lot to take in... I'll have a gander at it over the week end. though, I warn you, I tend to sux prose, well except when I try to write it in my poetry and then I just confuse people...
Elvina Posted October 16, 2005 Author Report Posted October 16, 2005 Wow, no replies or critiques in all this time... I guess this isn't so much a site for getting feedback, then, huh? Well, this is just a post to let anyone who cares know that I've changed the title of this story since I started this topic, and I've also tinkered with a few other things. I can't change the topic title, however, so it still reads as the old title. Anyway... let me know if you enjoyed this teeny little part of what has since become almost a 30,000 word draft.
Wyvern Posted October 17, 2005 Report Posted October 17, 2005 This was certainly a nice start to your first book in the "Warrior of Fire and Blood Trilogy," Elvina, though it can be difficult to judge a story by its prologue alone. :-) Still, I really liked the attention to detail in this introduction, as well as the manner that you placed the reader right into the setting of the story without the use of any unnecessary explanatory passages. I really like your uses of showing, and am sure that the meaning behind the "Turawein" title will become apparent as the story progresses. As for a potential way to improve this prologue: I didn't think the last paragraph was needed, as it just tells the reader what's coming up next and lacks suspense. If you'd like to reveal Kormaran's plans and intentions to build drama, you may consider interspersing more of his feelings through the body of the prologue. Pertaining to your question about the lack of critiques and responses to this piece: I think the general lack of response may have to do with this prologue being archived here from another board where a longer version is available, as priority is normally given to works posted on the Pen. Threads and stories from other boards are commonly archived in the Library forum of the site, where I can move this thread if you'd like. Also, as I mentioned, it can be difficult to respond to a story knowing only its prologue, and I'm certain that many writers here have been waiting for more of the story before replying. Thanks for understanding. A nicely written prologue, once again. :-)
Elvina Posted October 17, 2005 Author Report Posted October 17, 2005 Pertaining to your question about the lack of critiques and responses to this piece: I think the general lack of response may have to do with this prologue being archived here from another board where a longer version is available, as priority is normally given to works posted on the Pen. Threads and stories from other boards are commonly archived in the Library forum of the site, where I can move this thread if you'd like. Also, as I mentioned, it can be difficult to respond to a story knowing only its prologue, and I'm certain that many writers here have been waiting for more of the story before replying.Thank you for your feedback, Wyvern - it's greatly appreciated. I guess I understand what you mean, but I posted this here because I was interested in getting reviews from some of the great writers on this site, not to 'archive' this... not sure what that means, exactly... I'm not sure why it makes a difference that this is posted elsewhere, except that I could use all the help I can get. This site seems to be a different sort of writer's website than I'm used to. Are people supposed to post their stuff and get feedback, or does it work differently here? Sorry to be a bother.
Wyvern Posted October 17, 2005 Report Posted October 17, 2005 Not a problem, Elvina, I'm happy to answer any questions or concerns. :-) The Pen is first and foremost a site where people can write together and relate to one another through the shared interest of writing. A great deal of writing and feedback for writing is posted, naturally, but if you enter the site with expectations and standards for the feedback you recieve, you're bound to be disappointed. There's no guarantee on the amount or quality of feedback you may recieve, though you're always guaranteed the respect of your fellow Pen writers. :-) As to why it makes a difference if a story has been posted elsewhere: many of the people who write on the Pen post their works only on the Pen, and rely on this site as their sole source of feedback. Their works recieve priority to works from other boards, which have often recieved a great deal of feedback from writers on those other boards. The use of the Library as an "archiving" point is simply to show that the work has already existed on a different board before being posted here, and does not imply that people will not respond to it if feedback is requested. Hope that makes sense. Please feel free to PM me if you have any more questions.
Elvina Posted October 17, 2005 Author Report Posted October 17, 2005 Ah, I see. Then feel free to move this thread to wherever it should be, and thanks for letting me know.
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