Not Another Fairy Tale

[troubled sleep]

Wow! I'm not dead!! After another extremely long absence I'm dropping by again!! So if anyone actually remembers me, HI! And Hello to everyone else as well! Hopefully this time my stay will be of some duration, but if life-outside-my-computer once again stops me from being online as much as I'd like, here's a story until next time.

This story was inspired by a really bad rp that I crashed over the summer called "Not your average fairy tale"(the irony was that it *was* a cliched fairy tale, and I joined it as a random commoner trying to steal jewlery from the 10 sage princes/princesses on an epic quest to save the world), the fairy-tale-esque Disney movies that I had to watch with my little cousins this summer, and, to an extent, Waiting for Godot. Of course, it was also inspired by lots of other things(such as listening to my friends whine about not having prom dates last May), but I've rambled enough as it is.

 

And yes, I know it's long, but give it a chance?

 

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Once upon a time, there was a handsome prince, the only son of an aging king and queen. Hoping to secure their son’s future happiness, the wise king and noble queen called for all marriageable women in the land to come to their palace on a hill to present herself to the Prince. Among the flocks of women who flooded into the palace on that fateful night, there was one maiden so fair, so poised, so gentle that she seemed almost unreal. The prince gravitated towards this beautiful maiden, and the two were married, bound together to live happily ever after.

But life isn’t perfect, and happily ever after doesn’t always fit at the end of every story. When the dust settles on the dance floor of one of those fabled balls, as the decorations are taken down, what remains? True, one maiden leaves the ball a princess, but what about all the others? Whatever happened to them?

 

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“In Grimm’s name, I hate these things!!” Mira said, leaning back in her chair. She sat at a long table dressed in crisp linen and decorated with colorful flowers and drapes of fragrant greenery. The table was packed on all sides with women equally crisp and colorful, each in a bright silk with an even brighter smile as they tried to win the attentions of the ball’s resident Handsome Prince. Meanwhile, across the large banquet hall, men and women swirled in time with a string quartet that was a good fifth out of tune.

 

“What, Mira?” a stocky blonde girl sitting next to Mira asked around a mouthful of cake. She was stuffed into a revealing green gown that was, at present, almost completely covered by a large cloth napkin. Overall, she seemed more interested in the plate in front of her than in Mira’s laments.

 

“I said, Gretel, that I hate these things” Mira repeated, waving a hand in the direction of the dancers, revelers, and other party goers, implicating them all in her dislike. Shaking her head in pure hatred, she caused some of the steadily wilting flowers entwined in her hair to fall out onto the table “I really do hate them.”

 

“Yes, well, at least the food is good.” the blonde, Gretel, said polishing off her slice of cake and moving on to attack a mound of cookies.

 

 

“Gretel, can’t you think of anything other than food?” Mira asked irritably.

 

“Of course I can! Like...like...” she glanced around the large room, searching for something other than the buffet tables to focus her attention on. “Like...who’s that?” she asked, jabbing her fork in the direction of a particularly glowing maiden over by the dancers. Mira scoffed.

 

“I don’t know, some new kid with dewy eyes, flaxen hair, and a pleasing figure.” Mira said unhappily, refusing even to glance in the mysterious girl’s direction.

 

“Oh Mira, I don’t know why you have to be so mean all the time.” Sighing, Gretel grabbed a cookie and settles back in her chair, preparing herself for a long rant.

 

“Excuse me, Gretel, you know exactly why I have to be so mean.” Mira said fervently. “ Do you realize that you and I and most of the other girls here have been riding the Freakishly Handsome Fairy-Tale Prince circuit for over three years without a single bite? If I have to attend one more ball, masque, fete or some other party created for the sole purpose of marrying off some prince, I am going to scream!” Mira said, pounding a hand on the table for emphasis and causing nearly every glass on their part of the table to jump a good half-inch in the air.

 

“Well, you should have told me that before I signed us up for Prince Valiant’s ball next Tuesday, now shouldn’t you?” Gretel replied before taking an indignant bite of her cookie.

 

“I did! Several times! I said that...wait, I thought this was Prince Valiant’s ball.”

 

“No, this is Prince Charming’s ball. Didn’t you notice the family?” Gretel said, directing Mira’s attention over towards a pair of thrones along the opposite wall. The two monarchs seated there smiled and waved at the dancers, clapping and being the very essence of charm. “Prince Valiant is next Tuesday, and then three weeks after that we’ve got that Fete for Prince Extremely-Good-Looking. Oh, come on, it’s not that bad.” she said, noting Mira’s grimace. “We’ve only been doing this for two years, not three. Even less than that if you count the time we had to spend underground after you poured wine of that French Prince...what was his name?”

 

“I don’t know, I don’t remember...He was a beast, though, so hairy! The story was that he angered some enchantress who changed his palace into something resembling a den of evil and transformed the prince himself into a huge monstrous beast, but personally I think he was just born that way. Besides, it was only water, and the stain did come out...after some scrubbing anyway.” Mira said, close to pouting.

 

“Well even so, we haven’t been completely ‘without a bite’, as you put it. Weren’t you engaged to one of those triplets we met in Wales?”

 

“Ugh! The Princes Brave, Noble, and Wise. Don’t remind me.” Mira groaned, sinking into her chair as though she wanted to hide under the table. “I was engaged to Prince Brave for two days–two days! That’s it!”

 

“Well, I am surprised. You were so enraptured with him. ‘Gretel,’ you said, ‘I’m finally going to live happily ever after! I’ve finally found my Prince!’” Gretel said in a tone more admonishing than cruel. Though she still grinned wickedly over at Mira around a large scone. If Mira looked as though she had wanted to hide under the table before, she now seemed prepared to sink under the floorboards.

 

“He was alright for the first few hours, but after that...! After spending one full day with him I was so fed up that I told them to go jump out the window. And, being Prince Brave, he did it. He landed in a reflecting pool below the window and only broke one leg, but that was still enough for his brother, Prince Noble, to challenge me to a duel to defend his incapacitated brother’s honor. Meanwhile–and this was the worst part– Prince Wise spent the entire time giving me stock tips and investment advice!” Mira shook her head, upsetting her flyaway brown hair even more. “After two days, I just couldn’t take it anymore!”

 

“Well, there you have it: you were engaged, you could have stopped coming tot these little fetes, but you chose not to. You’ve no one to blame but yourself for that. But Mira,” Gretel said, her tone shifting from admonishment to sympathy, “really, it will get better. Now, I’m going to get a little dessert. By the time I get back, I want you looking a bit more cheerful, alright?” She stood up from the table, plate in hand, but didn’t move until she got a reluctant nod from Mira. Once she had her nod, however, Gretel moved quickly over towards the buffet tables and out of sight.

 

When she returned several minutes later, Gretel had her heaping plate balanced in one had, and, much to Mira’s annoyance, the arm of a pretty little slip of a girl firmly in the other, all the while beaming with a warm smile that lit up her entire face.

 

“Mira, this is the girl I was telling you about. You know, the one we saw over by the dancers. She’s new to the Handsome Prince Circuit, so I thought I’d bring her over and introduce her to some of the girls.” Gretel said cheerily, briefly directing a hard look towards Mira, willing her dark haired friend into silence. Mira moodily complied, but no amount of friendship with Gretel could stop her from eyeing the new girl with wary dislike, like an animal sizing up the competition. The girl was just as Mira had predicted: she was a thin, trim little upstart with prefect hair(it happened to be long, blonde, and cascading down her back in luminous, luscious locks) and a pretty dress(it was a deep blue silk, cut low in the front and whose hem swept across the floor in little ripples. The colour also set off the filthy rotten upstart–er, the girl’s perfect cerulean blue eyes). Plus, standing next to Gretel’s bulk and ill fitting gown that was at least three balls out of fashion, all the new girl’s best qualities were put into sharp relief. Mira could almost feel Prince-who-ever-the-heck’s gaze turning towards this little newbie.

 

“Girls? Are you listening to me? Gretel asked, still hovering around the table. Mira looked up along with most of the other women around the table–most of whom grimaced and glared in exactly the same way as Mira.

 

“Now then, this is...Sar..Sario..” Gretel paused and pursed her kips, brow furrowed in concentration for a moment before turning to the girl she had brought with her. “I’m sorry, you’re going to have to say your name one more time for me.”

 

“Sarioptawaptaukuaki do Neretiana the third. But you can call me Sari.” the girl–Sari– said in a voice that resembled water cascading across pebbles in a tiny crystal stream. There was another collective grimace among the women at the table.

 

“Thanks, So, girls, this is Sari.” Gretel said. Some attempted a half hearted wave, and there were a few mumbles of ‘hello Sari’, but most just stared.

 

“Alright, so Sari, I’m Grete, as I said, and this is my friend Mira.” Again Gretel glared down at her friend, and Mira gave a weak little wave. “Hmm...let’s see, that girl over there, see the place one with the short dark hair and puffy sleeves? That’s Snowy, wave Snowy, will you?”

 

“Snowy...what a unique name. I am delighted to make your acquaintance.” Sari said in clear, ringing tones. Snowy just glared icy from her seat.

 

“Her real name is Wilhelmina, but as cold and heartless as she is, we thought Snowy, or Snow White worked better.” Mira added in a low voice.

 

“Mira!” Gretel exclaimed, releasing Sari’s arm to wave a finger chidingly at Mira before turning back to the newcomer. “Don’t listen to her, Sari, it’s not Snowy’s fault. She’s just been out of sorts lately. See, she choked on an apple slice at a ball once, we all thought she was dead, laid her out and everything. Well, suddenly a bunch of princes showed up, each claiming that they had always loved her, but never realized it until it was too late. Very sad.” Meanwhile Snowy, who was still very much within earshot, continued to glare.

 

“Especially when one of them bent to kiss her forehead, once last time, he said.” Mira added.

 

“Oh oh oh! I remember that!” an energetic girl with a high pitched said, leaning over from her seat across the table. She had very very very long hair that was also very blonde that was plaited over her shoulder and disappeared under the table. “Poor guy lost his balance half way down and had to throw a hand down on her stomach to catch himself. Suddenly, out pops the bit of apple, right into his face!!”

 

“Yes, that’s what happened. Poor Prince Courageous, he never did get the full use of his left eye back, did he?” Mira asked. Meanwhile, Sari looked shocked, and Gretel stared down at the pair of gossipers disapprovingly.

 

“No, he never did.” the girl from across the table said with a giggle. “ Anyways, Sari, I’m Rapunzelle, but all the girls just call me Zelley. I don’t usually just jump into other people’s conversations, normally I’m much more polite, but–“

 

”Yes you do and no you’re not.” Snowy muttered moodily from her spot two seats down from Zelley.

 

“You stay out of this, Snowy,” Zelley said complacently, clearly unfazed, “Anyways, so I don’t always intrude like this, it’s just that I’m afraid you’re standing on my hair.”

 

Again, shocked, Sari jumped to the side. Looking down, she realized that the beautiful golden carpet she had been silently admiring had actually been a long plait of hair, complete with bows and everything.

 

“Oh! I am so sorry!” Sari began sweetly, “I simply did not-“

 

”Oh don’t worry,” Zelley said, waving away Sari’s concerns. “Talia here was using it as a pillow earlier.” she explained, bemused, unconcerned smile never leaving her round face.

 

“Talia?” Sari inquired, turning questioningly to Gretel.

 

“This is Talia.” Zelley said, indicating the figure in the chair between herself and the every scowling Snow White. It was easy to see why Sari had missed Talia at first. At a glance, she appeared to be nothing more than an off center piece of decoration as she was asleep with her flower entwined hair spread out over the table. However, once you got over the fact that she was asleep, she was quite pretty. Beautiful even.

 

“Is she...is she alright?” Sari asked, all polite concern.

 

“Oh sure, she’s just had a little too much tonight, she’ll be fine tomorrow.” Zelley said, patting Talia firmly on the back. The sleeping beauty didn’t even stir.

 

“Once she gets over the headache, anyway...” Mira whispered before turning to look up at Sari. “It’s a pity she isn’t awake, Talia has an almost impossible life story. Apparently she used to be a hippy. She changed her name to Aurora and had a set of twins she called The Sun and The Moon. She has a thing about sharp, pointy objects, though. She won’t get within inches of even a fork. Once, at one of Prince Slightly-Rotund’s masques–“

 

”THIS STUPID SOUP!!” A girl sitting next to Mira rather unexpectedly shouted, throwing her gilded soup spoon down in disgust.

 

“Oh no, not again...” Snowy said, head in her hands.

 

“Goldie, this is Sari. Sari, Gol-“

 

”I’m perfectly capable of introducing myself thank you, Gretel! I’m Goldie Lochs. That’s L-O-C-H-S, like the lake, not like the hair. Though I do have golden locks.” Goldie said trying, unsuccessfully, to flip her short cap of unruly yellow curls over her shoulder. “And let me just say that if I ever grew my hair out to the floor I would never just let people stand on it.” she said with a contemptuous glare at Zelley. “No, I would take good care of my hair, I’d-“

 

”It’s not as though I asked her to stand on it!” Zelley shouted back.

 

“Yeah well-“

 

”That’s lovely Goldie, Zelley, but that will do.” Gretel said, eyeing both girls menacingly–or at least as menacingly as she could manage. Still fuming, but afraid of one of Gretel’s infamous lectures, the two settled back into their seats. Gretel smiled warmly. “ Now, Goldie, what seems to be the problem with your soup?”

 

“It’s too COLD! First it was too hot, now it’s too cold! I asked for a bowl that was just right–do you remember when I detailed it out to that cook?– but noooo! I’ve had to send my soup back seven times tonight! Every time they apologize profusely–lying through their teeth!– and bring me another bowl that’s either too hot or too cold, never just right!!” Goldie said, sticking out her upper lip childishly and preparing for a good sulk as she stared down at the offending soup.

 

“You think this is bad?” Mira asked the increasingly alarmed Sari. Sari responded with only the tiniest of nods, but she had grabbed the back of Gretel’s empty chair in front of her for support, and though still mostly serene and beautiful, her crystal blue eyes had reached the size of saucers. “You should have seen her even when first came in, of course she had to sit in every chair in the hall until she found one that was ‘just right.’ Quite ridiculous really.” Again, Sari just nodded weakly.

 

“Well, “ Gretel said, noticing Sari’s discomfort and patting the girl encouragingly on the shoulder with her free hand. “There you have it, Sari. Mira, Snowy, Zelley, Talia, and Goldie. All the regulars.

 

“Wait! What about Ella!!” Zelley interjected, voice rising to an even higher pitch with concern. Idly, she played with a lock of her straight golden hair while Goldie fingered her own messy curls furiously.

 

“That’s right, however could I forget Ella? Has anyone seen Cinderella?”

 

“She’s probably off cleaning something. That’s all she’s good for. Cleaning. Unless she’s smuggling cleaning products over the border, that is.” Snowy said grumpily.

 

“Smuggling cleaning...surely you must be joking!” Sari said. The poor little girl looked about ready to fall over but for Gretel’s steadying hand.

 

“No, it’s true!!” Goldie said, coming out of her pout for a moment. “ She got mixed up in that mop-and-broom smuggling scandal. She’s lying low until things quiet down.”

 

“Ahh, I see. Well, perhaps you can meet Ellsa next time, Sari. Until then, here we are, and we’re happy to have you with us.” Gretel said, trying to cheer up her little charge.

 

“Yes, thank you.” Sari managed after some moments. “I do have one question, though.”

 

“What? I’d be more than happy to answer.”

 

“What is the cow doing here?” Sari asked softly.

 

“Well-“

 

”Who? Snowy?” Mira asked, mock confusion masking her face. “We already introduced her, remember? Though frankly, I’m not sure why she’s here. Perhaps-“

 

”Mira!” Gretel said before adding “Snowy!” as Snowy tried to lunge at her offender from across the table. “Calm yourselves, girls.” she said, holding a hand out between them. Mutually deciding that it wasn’t worth it anyway, both Mira and Snowy moved back to their seats. Again, Gretel smiled.

 

“No, I think she means the cow next to Snowy.” Zelley said, indicating a bony milk cow with bows and ribbons tied around her ears. “Isn’t she just adorable? I bought her off some kid on the way over here. Quite a bargain. I just gave the kid a handful of beans, told him they were magic. I was going to sell her, but once I made it to town I simply couldn’t bring myself to do it. Then I found out how much she wanted to go to the ball tonight so–“

 

”Girls!!” Gretel whispered suddenly. “It’s him!! It’s the Prince! Smile girls!”

 

The entire table quite literally swivelled in the direction of the Prince as every girl turned to face him and smile.

 

“Hello ladies.” Prince Charming said, flashing a grin that made even Snowy giggle. “I know I speak for the entire Union of Freakishly Handsome Fairy-Tale Princes–of which I am a charter member–“ he said with another dazzling smile, “when I say just how good it is to know that we can always count on your regulars to attend our balls.”

 

“It’s...it’s...it’s our ppleasure, Prince Charming.” Zelley blurted before covering both her mouth and her coloring cheeks.

 

“No, ladies, it’s mine.” Prince Charming said charmingly. The table full of girls beamed, and a few swooned.

 

“I was just introducing this new girl, your Charmingness.” Gretel said, indicating Sari. “May I present–“

 

”Sarioptawaptaukuaki do Neretiana the third” the Prince said, reaching out and kissing Sari’s hand. “Yes, I know. I was wondering if Lady Neretiana would do me the honor of dancing with me.”

 

“How...how could I refuse.” Sari replied, voice as musical as ever.

 

“How could you?” the prince echoed, smiling another dazzling smile before pulling Sari gracefully off towards the dance floor.

“You know, she could have at least said goodbye.”said Mira. She had been one of the first to regain her senses after Prince Charming left and had watched Sari allow herself to be borne away without a single look back.

 

“Or nice meeting you.” Zelley added sadly.

 

“More like nice knowing you.” added Snowy. “Look at the two of them over there dancing.”

 

“They’ll probably get married...” Goldie said wistfully.

 

“Yeah, and I bet we won’t even get invited.”

 

“As usual” Snowy added morosely.

 

“You know, I really hate these things.” Mira said, settling back in her chair and closing her eyes. “I really do.”

 

“Oh well, look on the bright side, hmm?” Goldie said, sitting down and setting her heaping plate before her. “At least the food is good.”

Edited September 10, 2005 by troubled sleep

[Sweetcherrie]

Wooohoooo :woot: :woot:

 

I loved this story, been giggling through half of it, thank you so much for posting this; it made my saturday morning a lot better all of a sudden.

 

The characters are nicely worked out with each their own little quirks, and the references to the original fairytale made them come out even better.

 

I liked the pace of the story, 8 pages when printed, but because it was so well written I really had no difficulties at all reading through them.

 

I've discovered three little finger slip-ups, nothing bad, but maybe you're a bit like me, and would want to get them out

 

“In Grimm’s name, I hate these things!!” Mira said, leaning lack in her chair. She sat at a long table dressed in crisp linen and decorated with colorful flowers and drapes of fragrant greenery.

lack should probably be back.

 

“It’s too COLD! First it was too hot, not it’s too cold!

should probably be "now it's too cold!"

 

“You this is bad?” Mira asked the increasingly alarmed Sari.

There seems to be a word missing in the first part here.

 

I have no idea if there are others, seeing that this story read so well, I might have read over some.

 

Oh, and that I'm taking out the little things, means that I really don't have anything big to say

 

Once again, thanks for posting this, and please, please keep posting this sort of stuff

 

*hugs and then runs off to find out when she can attend a Freakingly Handsome Fairy-Tale Prince ball*

 

[Appy]

This was marvelous! Like Sweet I was giggling through most of it, you really manage to picture the scene at the table very well.. And the characters are just great

 

I think Sweet found most of those little mishaps, but if you like, I'll go over it again to help make it perfect

 

Great job, and thanks for sharing

 

 

Oh, and welcom back of course! *hugs*

[troubled sleep]

Thank you eternally, Sweetcherrie! I'm sorry to say that I have a bit of a problem when it comes to typos...so, Appy, I'd be glad for all the help I can get.

 

Thanks to both of you guys for reading