Arrogance

[Sweetcherrie]

You think…

 

You’ve got the right to hurt

That you’re the one to say

What one and all should do

That all should go your way

 

You think…

 

That you’re the only one

To tell how things are done

The sad thing in this is

That you’re so very wrong

 

You see

 

I think…

 

That life is give and take

That by giving you receive

But, no worry I’ll be on my way

Now that must be relief

 

I think…

 

That you’ll end up alone

No one to watch your back

If you don’t change a bit

You’ll take the lonely track

Edited September 8, 2005 by Sweetcherrie

[Lord Panther]

Very good! I'm not one to usually comment (especially on poetry), but this poem, I can really relate to. I know a few people who are the way your poem describes. My hat's off to you for this work.

[Peredhil]

I know some too. And this captures their reality well...

[Beautiful Nightmare]

i think we all know people like that and sweet i just made up a really good tune to that so i can make it into a song and be famous and give you half the profits if you wish i love the poem *hugs*i dont make up tunes to everything so you know its special

Edited September 9, 2005 by Arwen

[Sweetcherrie]

Thank you so much for replying

 

I'm glad to hear that the poem touched something....unfortunately we all probably know these sort of people, and if only I had the strength I would help each and every one of them to not end up on that lonely path....

 

In the end I would already be glad if I managed to spread some friendship

 

Thanks again for taking the time to read and reply.

 

*huggles*

 

Sweet

[Appy]

*adds her voice to the comments already made and echo's them*

 

But you already knew I like it

 

 

The one thing still bothering me is the third line in the third stanza.

After asking, I now know what you mean by it, but it sounds as if you're going towards instead of the leaving that you meant. The change that you proposed in chat would make that a lot clearer and definitely 'finish' the poem..

 

Good job, and yes, we all know such people at some point in our lives... thanks for sharing and also for asking me to work on it with you, even though we didn't actually finish

 

You did a great job after that on your own!

 

*hugs*

[Sweetcherrie]

ack

 

I'm so sorry Appy, thanks for the great help, you always are....

 

*hugs and then hits herself for forgetting to put that down here*

Edited September 10, 2005 by Sweetcherrie

[Appy]

*tisks and stops Sweet from hitting herself* no need for that silly *huggle*

 

Oh, and sorry, appearantly there wasn't a real alternative yet for that line... erm.. yeah.. my opinion still stands though

Edited September 10, 2005 by Appy