gjunon Posted July 6, 2005 Report Posted July 6, 2005 (edited) Life. A drop of water Casting a shadow on my life Faded memories passing through the distance Should I still try Twilight has come This is the only path in sight I know not where it leads, but I must keep walking I am scared, I will be nothing, yet I still cry Darkness has settled I cannot see the path to walk, yet my legs still tread on Where this path leads I do not know Should I embrace it or hide, only time will tell my fate -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The cold grass on my bare feet The moonlight streaming down Blurring the stars in the black ocean of time How long have I been walking? How much hurt I feel Tears are flowing freely now I don’t give a shit Let them flow enough to hide from myself Let it blure my past so I can focus on my future I hurt so much its more than I can bear I wont give up I cant My life is worth living still yet I have no direction God I need you here with me more than ever Since no one else is I am all alone in my pain --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- the waves crash the sea beckons time moves on without you can i continue to live on pain agony defeat this is how i feel my burdon rings true to my heart only you can answer will you heed to my pleas i believe the emptyness of the sea is all that will call back to me tears start to flow the end of my time with you grows dark im so cold Edited July 6, 2005 by gjunon
reverie Posted July 7, 2005 Report Posted July 7, 2005 (edited) "Drive on...Drive on..." Nice three part progression Reminds me of Cain from the Old testament waking through time, spurned from God, but still wanting back into the good graces n'stuff... Um, on another level: Yeah, life can tough... Gotta keep moving forward, but what is forward really? and would you recognise it? my thoughts, rev... Edited July 7, 2005 by reverie
Tattered Posted July 16, 2005 Report Posted July 16, 2005 The first one strikes me the thought of...fear of the unknown. The survival instinct. No one really knows where life leads and what will come of them. The second part is so common as well. Meaning that remorse, those unforgiving memories that haunt us. It's the advisary trying to shackle us with guilt and self hate. Forgivness is the only way to life. Sounds lonely. Sounds like me. However the sea is not empty. The sea is FULL of life. I think that the good is always there, underneath...waiting for discovery. But the efforts of life just weaken our attempts to find joy and peace and wholeness....
Parmenion Posted July 17, 2005 Report Posted July 17, 2005 A drop of water Casting a shadow on my life Faded memories passing through the distance Should I still try Always try, failure to try is a failure of character. If you dont try you may as well not exist. Twilight has come This is the only path in sight I know not where it leads, but I must keep walking I am scared, I will be nothing, yet I still cry You'll be nothing if you have that attitude. Life is as scary as you allow it to be. Pick up your skirt, grab yer nuts and remember you're a man. Darkness has settled I cannot see the path to walk, yet my legs still tread on Where this path leads I do not know Should I embrace it or hide, only time will tell my fate Embrace it. Those who need to know where they are going will never amount to anything. Life will never be as exciting for them as it could be for you becauyse they are not taking a risk. Fate is the provider of opportunity, nothing more. It is up to us what we choose to do with the opportunities she presents to us. Your second part or poem I really enjoyed. These are stupendous lines: Let it blure my past so I can focus on my future I hurt so much its more than I can bear I wont give up blure = blur Then for me personally you went and spoilt it somewhat by mentioning a god which there was absolutely no need for. Granted you are alone but ultimately any strength you think ytou derive from such an entity was within you to begin with. It is still a very enjoyable second verse but given that you hadn't made and references to omnipotent beings previously, it seemed very out of place. The third part is confusing as to whether you are talking about losing this incorporeal being you mentioned in your last stanza or something more tangible and real. Though I still enjoyed the poem i think the description "emptiness of sea" is poor, given that the sea is far from empty. The emptiness of the sky would be a better analogy.
gjunon Posted July 26, 2005 Author Report Posted July 26, 2005 the sea is full of life but none that you can see from the surface. you have to look deeper to find it. when your looking at the sea you really dont feel life you more feel alone. i dunno the anology seemed to work alright the poems for me were written to help me move on from a relationship that went sour... i had to realize that it is for the best to move on and let it all go.
Recommended Posts