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The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

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Posted

Ozy, as you said the story thread is just for *your* comments... ;)

 

I wanted to say that I liked the opening post, and got really curious! I have a couple of comments, but I feel it's early to voice them yet; I'd rather wait to read a bit more of the story to get its feeling better, and then I'll say something more helpful than "I like it, go ahead" :D.

 

So... I like it! Go ahead, please!! :P

 

~Tanny

  • 10 months later...
Posted (edited)

"He had missed the aggravation and tension of the city previous month, but leapt out of his bedroom window with an infuriated will that morning for an entirely diffrent reason than most of the rest of the city had for want to beat senseless a truly maddening pyromaniac"

 

The phrasing of this sentence is awkward and befuddling...see if you can't work out the kinks here.

 

"I admit to rather liking the idea of a flying superhero with laser vision called Redeye being a prime mover here too. Let's hear it for old school superhero naming! Woo!"

 

Let's hear it for Aristotelian references! =D Also, "Ubermenschen" made me laugh mightily.

 

 

 

P.S. Ha! I do too participate, Sweet! Just not often...

Edited by HappyBuddha
Posted

I do tend to trip over my words. "breathless search for adjectives", I believe Bill Watterson called it (in reference to Spaceman Spiff's narrating skills).

 

Comes from reading so many comic books and listening to so many radio serials, I suppose. {:>)

 

Shall have to hit that one when I have more brainpower and more time...

 

(oh, and I'm glad you liked the Ubermenschen. ^^)

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