Beautiful Nightmare Posted May 16, 2005 Report Posted May 16, 2005 I'm fading away, Away from this world. It's bitter and cold, I did all that i could, To save myself, To save you, Im down on my knees Tell me what i should do! Im bitter, Im lonely, Im cold and im angry, Im just trying to save us. Please dont break this. Where did our friendship go? Seems like it blew out the window, Along with my heart. So many years ago. I close my eyes And i sleep this away, There I am happy, And at least there you'll stay. 'Cause I dont want to care anymore As your hand reaches up, And closes our door. Im fed up, Im upset, Im lonely and cold, And im begging you please, Just to come home. Where did our relationship go? Seems like it blew out the window, Along with my heart. So many years ago.
HappyBuddha Posted May 16, 2005 Report Posted May 16, 2005 *Hugs tight for an extra long time* This poem encapsulates what we've all been through but hope never to feel again...here's offering you the best of luck and hope in getting back to your feet and turning your back on the ugliness. You know I'm beside you every step of the way.
Sweetcherrie Posted May 16, 2005 Report Posted May 16, 2005 (edited) Hmm...how can you think you're no good at this, while this poem obviously comes straight from the heart. It hurts reading that you feel this much pain inside, but it will get better with time. *huggles warmly* Just hold in there, and you can always poke me when you need someone to listen Edited May 16, 2005 by Sweetcherrie
Parmenion Posted May 17, 2005 Report Posted May 17, 2005 A good poem deserves a good response. The words I have to praise this work are not cupped deeply enough to do it justice. But perhaps your inspiration for this poem will say something of how much it touched me. Luv you loads hun *hugs* 1. Suddenly she leaned forward, Her head tween' her hands, Brief sobs spoke of sorrow, Not dreams of strange lands. While tears in black streams, Babbled over her cheek, Resolve broke within her, To be strong or seem weak? The rain-tears weren't childish, Nor with pity bought, But a reeling of feeling, From a burnt heart not sought. Did it matter if they saw? If they stopped or they stared? Did any of them know? Could they see why she cared? 2. Her tears watered the earth, In the glade where she wept, A crow cawed from a tree, Then watched as she slept. She dreamed of an ideal, As she fly through the sky, Looking down on the world, With a crow's beady eye. She saw colours for people, Some bright and some grey, Some rich with a newness, Some rank with decay! Did it matter if they saw? If they stopped or they stared? Did any of them know? Could they see if she cared? 3. With a start, she awoke! And called to her crow, On her gauntlet he landed, Then bowed his head low. The truth she thought oddly, As she walked from the glade, In that what hurt her most, Was the plans they had made. She stopped for a moment, Drew her lungs full of air, A calm lifted her spirit, Washing away all despair. It didn't matter if they saw, Or if they stopped to stare, It didn't matter what they knew, Since she really didn't care...
drummondo Posted May 17, 2005 Report Posted May 17, 2005 (edited) As I said earlier, it's wonderfully lyrical... -22:30:35- [@drummondo]: cos they're great lyrics -22:30:42- [@drummondo]: niiiice rhymes See? I'd love to hear it recorded some time, because it looks like it would make a great song. My favourite line is "And closes our door." because of the startling finality involved. Nice writing Edited May 17, 2005 by drummondo
Regel Posted May 17, 2005 Report Posted May 17, 2005 You are already an interesting young woman Arwen. It seems that life has taught you a mechanism to deal with sorrow and pain. Drawing it out on paper, examing it in the cold light of day and then moving on. I liked your lyrics but I am sorry at same time. Only thing one can hope for is that another more worthy person will come along. Thanks for sharing.
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