Broken, not Shattered.

[Curious Mylo]

Every day it's the same thing. (mimicks) "be happy!", "Smile!" or "geeze! is it THAT hard to be happy?!" Do you even have an idea of what you're talking about? "I know exactly how you feel." NO! No you dont! Yeah, okay. Maybe you've been through the smae kind of situation. But dont assume you know how i feel.

Feelings. They're so weird. Putting them into words is hard. There are so many of them. In the same second you can feel both excited and nervous. You can be really curious about the answer someone will give you but scared to ask the question to begin with.

In one sentence, one little sentence, someone could crush you. Tear your heart into a billion pieces. But that one sentence could also be the one thats going to put you on top of the world.

How do you know? How do you know what they're going to do? What they're going to say. Or.. no. I don't even want think about that.

It's amazeing how much control one person can have over someone else's feelings. Someone else's thoughts. Someone elses's emotions. They could do anything. Any... thing... whatever they feel like doing. You're head is... infested. Everything you think about. Whether you want to or not, they're all you CAN think about. They distract you... even when they arent there.

Then they say the words. Everything is wrong. In less than a minute you whole... world is changed. Feelings you didnt even know existed came crashing down. Then they're replaced by other feelings. So confuseing. ALl of this going on in your head. All of it so fast. So... uncontrollable. Changeing how you feel is like changein gyour hair color. You can dye it, but it's always going to come back. Deep down, you know it's there. Whether or not anyone else does.

 

Right now, I feel a lot.

Towards you, I feel ... angry. Frustrated. A lot more feelings that i cant explain in any way other than they're not good.

You don't know me. You don't know how i feel. Stop trying to tell me you do. Stop assumeing you know my life story. Stop assumeing my feelings and emotions are any less confuseing than yours are. I'm not the happiest person, deal with it. I do, every single day. Don't judge me before you know me unless you want me to judge you before i know you. I promise that it wont be good. If you can't deal with me and who I am, I don't think I can deal with you. Any part of you.

[Quincunx]

chick lit! won't I regret this in the morning!

 

I am the woman who knows exactly what you are. You sit on my hand like a glove puppet, and my two leading fingers poke out of your nipples. All of the energy you expend is only what I need to move my hand; the seeming insensitivity is a matter of scale. You are a thin layer stretched over other people, and each one steps up to your mouth in turn and shouts out its lines. Most of them lie. You can live all your life as a conflicted balloon--many women do--but you could expel the commitee and thicken yourself to the point where my eternal, wiggling fingers are calcified. Some branches of the female fractal, glove on glove on glove, are brittle and barely move. There is hope.