Zariah Posted March 30, 2005 Report Posted March 30, 2005 Just a few teasers. I'll answer them tomorrow. Add your own, if you wish. 1.) A man is sitting in a pub feeling rather poor. He sees the man next to him pull a wad of $1 bills out of his wallet. He turns to the rich man and says to him, "I have an amazing talent: I know almost every song that has ever existed." The rich man laughs. The poor man says, "I am willing to bet you all the money you have in your wallet that I can sing a genuine song with a lady's name of your choice in it." The rich man laughs again and says, "Ok how about my daughters name, Joanna Armstrong-Miller." The rich man goes home poor. The poor man goes home rich. What song did he sing? 2.) The blanks in the following sentences will be filled in with three different homonyms (words that are spelled differently but sound alike) to make valid sentences. The dashes indicate the number of letters in the words. Can you fill in the blanks? 1. The cut on his _ _ _ _ won't _ _ _ _ in time for the race, so _ _ '_ _ have to drop out. 2. The man was so upset about being _ _ _ _ that he regularly _ _ _ _ _ _ himself up on the bed and _ _ _ _ _ _ his eyes out. 3. I couldn't _ _ _ _ _ any of the _ _ _ _ _ _ in the flower shop, because for some strange reason I had 50 _ _ _ _ _ crammed up my nose. 4. A bloodthirsty pirate will wander the _ _ _ _ and essentially _ _ _ _ _ everything he _ _ _ _. 3.) Each of the following clues describes two words. One of the words is a type of fruit. The other word is that fruit with one of the following changes: a letter added anywhere (apple applet), a letter deleted anywhere (orange range), a letter changed anywhere (cheery cherry). There is no rearrangement of the other letters. No fruit is used more than once. 1) This is a devilish fruit. 2) This is a crippled fruit. 3) This is a happy fruit. 4) This is a criminal fruit. 5) This is a large fruit. 6) This is a tardy fruit. 7) This is a sullen fruit. This is an up-to-date fruit. 9) This is a handkerchief worn by a fruit. 10) This is a popular dance among fruit. 11) This is a complaint by a fruit. 12) This is a weapon used by a fruit. Anyone think they know them? Post your guesses.
Degenero Angelus Posted March 30, 2005 Report Posted March 30, 2005 (edited) I know 1.) He sang Happy birthday. 2.) 1) Heel, heal, he'll. 2) Bald, balled, bawled. 3) Sense, scents, cents. 4) Seas, sieze, sees. 3.) 1) A demon lemon. 2) A lame lime. 4) A felon melon. 5) A big fig. 6) A late date. 7) A glum plum. A current currant. And that is all Edited March 30, 2005 by Degenero Angelus
Zariah Posted March 30, 2005 Author Report Posted March 30, 2005 Turn that frown upside down! You are doing great. Thanks for participating! (I'll post the answers prolly tomorrow so you can see how you did).
Tanuchan Posted March 31, 2005 Report Posted March 31, 2005 (edited) Hmm... 3. A merry berry (though there are many kinds of berry, so I don't know if this one counts...) 10. A tango mango (Edit: added #3) Edited March 31, 2005 by Tanuchan
Katzaniel Posted March 31, 2005 Report Posted March 31, 2005 Oooh! Oooh! I think I finally got one! 11) Grape gripe (or vice versa)
Zariah Posted March 31, 2005 Author Report Posted March 31, 2005 Excellent Pennites! A recap (with the answers): A man is sitting in a pub feeling rather poor. He sees the man next to him pull a wad of £50 notes out of his wallet. He turns to the rich man and says to him, "I have an amazing talent: I know almost every song that has ever existed." The rich man laughs. The poor man says, "I am willing to bet you all the money you have in your wallet that I can sing a genuine song with a lady's name of your choice in it." The rich man laughs again and says, "Ok how about my daughters name, Joanna Armstrong-Miller." The rich man goes home poor. The poor man goes home rich. What song did he sing? Answer: "Happy Birthday." The blanks in the following sentences will be filled in with three different homonyms (words that are spelled differently but sound alike) to make valid sentences. The dashes indicate the number of letters in the words. Can you fill in the blanks? 1. The cut on his _ _ _ _ won't _ _ _ _ in time for the race, so _ _ '_ _ have to drop out. 2. The man was so upset about being _ _ _ _ that he regularly _ _ _ _ _ _ himself up on the bed and _ _ _ _ _ _ his eyes out. 3. I couldn't _ _ _ _ _ any of the _ _ _ _ _ _ in the flower shop, because for some strange reason I had 50 _ _ _ _ _ crammed up my nose. 4. A bloodthirsty pirate will wander the _ _ _ _ and essentially _ _ _ _ _ everything he _ _ _ _. Answer: 1.The cut on his HEEL won't HEAL in time for the race, so HE'LL have to drop out. 2. The man was so upset about being BALD that he regularly BALLED himself up on the bed and BAWLED his eyes out. 3. I couldn't SENSE any of the SCENTS in the flower shop, because for some strange reason I had 50 CENTS crammed up my nose. 4. A bloodthirsty pirate will wander the SEAS and essentially SEIZE everything he SEES. Each of the following clues describes two words. One of the words is a type of fruit. The other word is that fruit with one of the following changes: a letter added anywhere (apple applet), a letter deleted anywhere (orange range), a letter changed anywhere (cheery cherry). There is no rearrangement of the other letters. No fruit is used more than once. 1) This is a devilish fruit. 2) This is a crippled fruit. 3) This is a happy fruit. 4) This is a criminal fruit. 5) This is a large fruit. 6) This is a tardy fruit. 7) This is a sullen fruit. This is an up-to-date fruit. 9) This is a handkerchief worn by a fruit. 10) This is a popular dance among fruit. 11) This is a complaint by a fruit. 12) This is a weapon used by a fruit. Answer: 1) demon lemon 2) lame lime 3) merry berry 4) felon melon 5) big fig 6) late date 7) glum plum current currant 9) banana bandana 10) mango tango 11) grape gripe 12) pear spear
Katzaniel Posted March 31, 2005 Report Posted March 31, 2005 You asked us to add our own, so here's a groaner I heard this morning: What might you call a rather frail old guru with callused feet and bad breath?
Zariah Posted March 31, 2005 Author Report Posted March 31, 2005 (oooh I have NO idea... but someone else might....)
Degenero Angelus Posted March 31, 2005 Report Posted March 31, 2005 I heard that before, and it was about Ghandi. It was that stupid Mary Poppins song, but I can't remember the exact words
Katzaniel Posted April 2, 2005 Report Posted April 2, 2005 Yeah, close: Super callused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis.
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