HappyBuddha Posted March 17, 2005 Report Share Posted March 17, 2005 (edited) Farewell eyes, silent like lightning, pure shirtless frame serene like a centrifuge, I cried amongst brothers, ^blurry sobs coloring the cold Tennessee darkness that clapped down upon my eternal flame, ^a single stuttering breath dying to rejoin the pitch-black weathered lodge where the sounds of sneakers scuffling on an unyielding floor, of hands slapping and slipping across sweat-slickened skin, of the joyous flash and epiphany of a love-filled head greeting cracked concrete, of frantic scrabbling cries and hoarse curses all flowed into one last wrenching note of unadultered glory. Criticism and praise are equally welcome - just be truthful, and respond with what you think this poem deserves (Anything, from level 1 to 5. Just be truthful). Interpretation/explication is also welcome, if you so feel. Edited March 17, 2005 by HappyBuddha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peredhil Posted March 17, 2005 Report Share Posted March 17, 2005 First read: I appreciated the imagery. The current rushing one line formatting made it hard for my lil' ADD brain to follow it though. *hugs* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyBuddha Posted March 17, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 17, 2005 (edited) Yeah, I would significantly shrink the margins if this forum would allow me - actually, I guess I can do that manually. I'm going to go and edit that in right now. Edited March 17, 2005 by HappyBuddha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts