1950's style or now?

[Zariah]

How the times have changed.....

 

The following is from an actual 1950's Home Economics textbook intended for High School girls, teaching them how to prepare for married life:

 

1. HAVE DINNER READY: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal - on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

 

2. PREPARE YOURSELF: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Ba little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

 

3. CLEAR AWAY CLUTTER. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too.

 

4. PREPARE THE CHILDREN. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

 

5. MINIMIZE THE NOISE: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Greet him with a warm smile and kiss, letting him know you're glad to see him.

 

6. Some Don'ts: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.

 

7. MAKE HIM COMFORTABLE. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lay down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

 

8. LISTEN TO HIM: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

 

9. MAKE THE EVENING HIS: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his need to be home and relax.

 

10. THE GOAL: try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax.

 

 

WELCOME TO 2000!

1. HAVE DINNER READY: Make reservations ahead of time. If your day becomes too hectic just leave him a voice mail message regarding where you'd like to eat and at what time. This lets him know that your day has been crappy and gives him an opportunity to change your mood.

 

2. PREPARE YOURSELF: Make sure to change out of your work clothes into something comfortable. Who cares if he likes it or not . . . after all, it's most likely his T-shirt and boxers.

 

3. CLEAR AWAY CLUTTER: Tell the kids and your husband if they want maid service, they better call one!

 

4. PREPARE THE CHILDREN: Send the children to their rooms to watch television or play Nintendo.

 

5. MINIMIZE THE NOISE: Yell to him over the loud music your kids are playing, that this is what you had to put up with while he was gone. And mention that it was his decision to buy the kids a new CD player in the first place.

 

6. SOME Don'ts: Don't greet him with problems and complaints. Let him speak first, and then your complaints will get more attention and remain fresh in his mind throughout dinner. Don't complain if he's late for dinner, simply remind him that the leftovers are in the fridge and you left the dishes for him to do.

 

7. MAKE HIM COMFORTABLE: Tell him where he can find a blanket if he's cold. This will really show you care.

 

8. LISTEN TO HIM: But don't ever let him get the last word.

 

9. MAKE THE EVENING HIS: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or other places of entertainment; go with a friend or go shopping (use his credit card). Familiarize him with the phrase "Girls' Night Out!"

 

10. THE GOAL: Try to keep things amicable without reminding him that he only thinks the world revolves around him. Obviously he's wrong, it revolves around you.

[Venefyxatu]

 

Thanks for the read, I had a good laugh!

 

The first one would make me feel incredibly uncomfortable if I knew someone was actually thinking that way just for me.

 

As for the second one ... nahh ... this world revolves around its core, not around some human being. And that's more than just being cheesy. Cheeky. You know. Anyway, I really do believe that nobody is important enough for the world to revolve around ...

[Shathward]

Heh. That's pretty good.

 

Rather than making me feel incredibly uncomfortable, if someone were doing the 1950's version for me, I'd just sigh, get the look, and think to myself, "must remind wife of the times". Then I'd probably wrestle the dishes from her to do them myself, leave her to do the cooking since I can't cook if the universe depended on it, wrestle my feet away so that I can take off my own shoes and socks thank you very much, tell the kids to go play their video games or something, and try to get her to talk about the grievances she wishes to place before me. Basically, it'd be an uphill battle. But it's in my nature to do stuff like that, especially the refusal to be waited on like some obese king, because it simply makes me feel useless. I don't really like to feel like some cripple or paraplegic.

Edited March 15, 2005 by Shathward

[Kasmandre]

Kasmandre the Koot wanders into the Cabaret Room just in time to hear Zariah start detailing the 1950's rules for wives. Ignoring every word that was said after that, he stands up and begins pontificating.

 

"Yup, those were the days, when you could count on a nice soft chair and a hot meal on the table after a long day's work. Not like today when-"

 

Kasmandre's cut off as he's pelted with blunt objects from all sides of the room.

 

ooc: seriously though, if I ever came home and a woman was doing the 50's style stuff, I'd be sure I'm in the wrong house. Incidentally, I've seen that Home Ec exerpt before and it never ceases to amaze me and creep me out a little.

[Salinye]

In my experience, I think it's more of a blend between the two. I couldn't resist modifying them lol.

 

1. HAVE DINNER READY: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal - on time. This is a way of saving yourself a lot of stress and will ensure your family will get at least one meal this week that consists of more than Top Ramen or Macaroni and Cheese. Furthermore, if you don’t have anything prepared and are stressed, don’t be afraid to call your husband and ask him to pick something up (assuming your budget can afford it, even McDonalds for 6 people is $20.00) then he’ll know you’ve had a hard day and can help make it better. If he comes home and asks what’s for dinner, you can reply, “I don’t know, what are you making?”

 

2. PREPARE YOURSELF: Try to take time out during the day to rest so that you don’t feel too run down by the end of the day. Whether you’re a stay home mom or at a job all day, it’s important to take good care of yourself. You can’t be expected to be good to anyone else if you’re not first good to yourself.

 

3. CLEAR AWAY CLUTTER: Help your family establish good habits so that you all feel like the home is a peaceful and comfortable haven from the stress of school, work and other stresses of every day life. It takes more than one person to make the mess and one person shouldn’t be expected to clean it up! If your husband comes home and asks “What did you do all day?” Then come talk to me and I’ll show you what a well-placed magnet can do to his computer.

 

4. PREPARE THE CHILDREN: Children are little treasures and messy faces, sticky hands and uncombed hair is just a sign of a day full of adventure. If the house is a mess and dinner isn’t even close to being prepared, but the kids are happy and think their home is the greatest place on earth, then you’ve had a successful day. If messy hands bother your husband, show him where he can find the soap and tub. TV is not a baby sitter….except when your sanity is in serious question…. We all have our days.

 

5. MINIMIZE THE NOISE: Might as well go take a bubble bath and escape because you know after the kids have been away from their dad all day all chaos will break loose the moment he walks in the door. It won’t matter that the baby is sleeping, wrestling, yelling and things involving terms like “Hi-YA! I GOT YOU, YOU’RE DEAD!” and the famous “IT”S MY TURN!” will soon be echoing through the house. Calgon, take me away. Why pretend men are anything more than big kids and frankly, who would have it any other way?

 

6. Some Don'ts: Don’t be afraid to have open communication with your husband. Sometimes that means nearly exploding when he walks in the door with little to no concern for the stresses of his day and sometimes that means not nagging when he just needs to unwind in front of the computer for a half hour without being bugged with little to no concern for the stresses of your day.

 

7. MAKE HIM COMFORTABLE. Now is the time to pop a movie in for the kids or to plug them into a video game so you can have a quicky with your husband and HEY, who said this was about his comfort? I think not.

 

8. Refer back to # 6.

 

9. MAKE THE EVENING TOGETHER: Some nights it’s all about geeking on the computer or watching the football game. Some nights it’s all about shopping for that perfect pair of shoes or going out for fondue. Yet some nights it’s all about sitting in the McDonald’s play land bored to tears while your kids run wild having the time of their life. It’s all about balance. Girl’s night out IS a must.

 

10. The world revolves around whatever you choose to make it revolve around. I suggest love, patience and unselfishness as a means of figuring it all out. A wise man I know said two things of importance. 1. The leading cause of divorce is selfishness. 2. The greatest gift you can ever give your children is to love your spouse.

 

~Salinye

[Shathward]

Which leads to a rather interesting point.

 

What if, and this is a very, very, very big if, a woman actually takes the 1950's thing seriously, has tried the alternative, and prefers to do the 1950's bit instead, to leave all the "outside the home" business to her husband?

 

I know such a thing wouldn't happen, but hypothetically.

 

Would it be wrong for the woman to do that? What if that sort of 50's devotion was what made her happy, and if her husband's insistence on leaving some chores to him made her upset? Would it be wrong for the husband to stop insisting?

 

Some moral questions that came to me. I just had to write 'em down.

[Ayshela]

despite the fact that that sounds suspiciously trollish...

 

i do know a couple women (yes, early to mid thirties, not grandmotherly, i swear) who *have* made that choice and are very happy with it. They held down jobs very successfully for years and decided they didn't want to any more, they enjoyed home and family more and so walked away without looking back. In their cases, that was a financial possibility as well, and worked well for them.

 

Happy Homemaker isn't for everyone, neither is Working Wife/Working Mother. Sometimes the decision on which to be is made by financial necessity, but where that isn't the case the choice should be purely on personal preference - and is not fodder for anyone else's judgement.*

 

my two-cents

'shela

 

*disclaimer: the opinions presented here are my own and are presented as opinion only.

[Salinye]

I think you said it very well, Ayshela. :0)

 

Each person has to make their own decision. I did the "climb the corporate ladder" thing once upon a time and was doing very well at it, but in the end I chose the stay home mom/homemaker route and wouldn't have it any other way. However, that being said, my husband and I consider outside employment 1 full time job, stay home mom/raising the kids 1 full time job and attempting to keep the house/bills in order another full time job. So, obviously he does the outside employment thing, but we divide the household things evenly and although I'm with the children more hours of the day than he is, he's no less involved. I think to put one person in charge of raising the children 75% of the day, keeping the house in order and all the bills paid would be an unrealistic expectation. I've seen women put that expectation upon themselves and then think they are failures because they can't pull it off. My husband will tell you (in good humor) that if he needs a break, he'll go to work!! lol

 

I think the mistake would be in assuming that if one person works and one person is a homemaker then they draw obvious lines of responsibility. Not that some people don't, and perhaps it even works for them. In my assesment, in a happy marriage I think we'd find that regardless of the chosen circumstances, probably most responsibilities are more blended than black and white. Would be an interesting research project. :0) I like it when topics turn thought provoking in here.

 

**also only expressing my own opinion/view/observations**

 

~Salinye

[Gryphon]

Take 1 Mynx and 1 steel box containing a vial containing an insidious dose of addictive 1950s personality. There is, in the chamber, a very small amount of a radioactive substance. If even a single atom of the substance decays during the test period, a relay mechanism will trip a hammer, which will, in turn, break the vial and turn the Mynx into the perfect 1950s housewife...

 

Place the Mynx inside the steel box and close it, sealing her inside.

 

The observer cannot know whether or not an atom of the substance has decayed, and consequently, cannot know whether the vial has been broken, the 1950's personality released, and the Mynx turned into a mindless 1950's drone woman.

 

Because we cannot know the state of the Mynx, she is according to quantum law both the perfect 1950's housewife and the strong modern woman, both at the same time!

 

It is only in the moment when we open the box and observe the Mynx that she stops being in both states simultaneously and normally becomes one or the other. However, any actual attempt to preform such an experiment outside of the strictest laboritory conditions would inevitably introduce random factors that the experimenter is unaware of at this point in time.

 

It is strongly hypothesised that there is a strong chance that the Mynx will not be in either of the previously mentioned states, and instead will have defaulted to a third state all together, specifically that of absolute rage. Should this be the case she will no doubt emerge from the steel box with the primary goal of killing whoever was silly enough to put her in there in the first place with the prevailing attitude that this kind of behaviour is not only socially acceptable but fully justified.

 

~~~

 

Appologies to both Mr Pratchett and Mr Schrodinger.

[Ozymandias]

*Ozymandias falls right out of his chair laughing*

 

*Sweetly asks his lady-love to go get him a sandwich*

*as she heads off to do so, he is silently pleased with the surprise of a delicious new blend of coffee that he is about to spring on her once she sits down to take her turn at the computer*

*at some undefinable point later, he notices with a small smile that his own shoes have been forgotten on his feet for nine hours since he has gotten home, and that HER own shoes are lying in a random enough spot that they have likely been forgotten again as well*

[Venefyxatu]

Gryphon, do you know how incredibly hard it is not to laugh after reading that? I know I shouldn't be reading this in class, but I couldn't resist

 

Salinye, I rather like your version of the list ... there's just one thing that stirred something dark that's buried deep inside me ...

 

If your husband comes home and asks “What did you do all day?” Then come talk to me and I’ll show you what a well-placed magnet can do to his computer.

This is a crime that justifies murder. The computer has nothing to do with it, and therefore, as an innocent bystander, should not be touched. Besides that, injuring a computer is a vicious crime

As for the "What did you do all day?", I see no harm in that question. To me it feels as though you're asking "How did you spend your day?", "How was your day?", or something similar - as in, expressing interest. It probably depends on the situation how this question feels, though

 

**Also merely expressing my opninions, more or less exactly 97,4958303945748820019475% seriously **

[Salinye]

*looks around for Venyfyxatu's computer with a magnet held solidly in her hand behind her back*

 

~Salinye

[Venefyxatu]

 

*starts making backups on tape, paper (just write everything down in binary with a pen ), other harddrives, CD-R, DVD-R, memory sticks stolen from classmates, floppy disks ( ), and the internet (that's fun : just zip everything, call it Windows_Longhorn_SourceCode.zip and put it on one or more p2p networks ), just in case ...*

 

You evil Elf you! Suddenly I feel a lot more sympathy for Dwarves

[Mynx]

Ya know I personally find a sledgehammer to be much mroe rewarding when dealing to a computer...but the ease with which the magnet can destroy one's 'life' is just SO wondefully amusing.

*grins*

 

Appologies to both Mr Pratchett and Mr Schrodinger.

Oi! What about the helpless Mynx that became your test subject? Where's my apology?

[Quincunx]

Not only that. . .she'll be armed with the hammer that the experimenter was so foolish as to leave in the box with her! Hahahahahahahahaha! (gasp for breath) Laughter is healthy and all, but try telling that to my rib muscles right about now.

 

I'd be more worried about that home ec. textbook if A: it weren't pitched to teenaged girls, who will read textured tripe if they think it'll land them a man (for proof, go to a supermarket checkout and scan a magazine or five) and B: I knew any 1950s woman who acted that way, much less believed it. Instead I knew (R.I.P. most of 'em, life is much. . .quieter without you) verbose, aggressive women who herded their men into the dining room at the business end of a rolling pin and made them sit and listen to their grievances while dinner was brought out, or articulate, self-possessed women whose men were already trained to set out the silverware and glasses while they received directions on the next stage of their careers.*

 

Venefyxatu, to a native English speaker, there's a strong, cultural, confrontational overtone of "You did nothing all day, compared to me" to that phrasing. Also I suspect that Salinye would rather be destructive to an object than caustic to a person. Be glad it's a replaceable type of destruction.

 

On dinner: Slow cooker (Crock-Pot for those of us in the U.S.), if you can remember to load it in the morning, makes old-fashioned meals where all the tastes run together and can substitute for the oven. Microwave shortens cooking time on veggies and meat, defrosts the stuff you didn't remember in the morning either, and reheats leftovers from the extra Tupperwares you filled during that day full of cooking. A flat-faced sandwich press (or George Foreman grill for those of us in the U.S.) is a bugbear to clean but helps make do-it-yourself fast food style meals, like hamburgers and hot sandwiches, good if you have to feed many and realize what it does to the fast food bill.

 

*Maybe having no role models for "suffer in silence" partly explains why I don't understand a lot of Pennites.

[Zariah]

I just wanted to start a conversation, and it's GREAT that it did!

I found that piece online and I thought it was interesting.

 

Well, my personal views are that it should be up to the individual to as what lifestyle they want to have. I think that one thing that's great about today is that we can (in a sense) choose. However, those women who WANT to be housewifes and caretakers, may have that choice taken away because everything is so expensive. But a household of peace and equality would interest me over one person taking the full responsibility.

[Peredhil]

Hugs Mynx apologetically.

 

My own Mom was a '1950s' type, of sorts. I can't imagine my family having existing or surviving without her. With my Dad occasionally rapidly popping out ideas like a popcorn maker, it helped that she had been an Executive Secretary before she'd married - she took shorthand.

Her ability to type 178 words a minute in the days when white-out was the only option was a God-send on those term papers that somehow slipped up on us kids.

When I started 1st grade, she went back to school, to the local college. Just because all my life her love of learning was a cornerstone. When I graduated 12 years later, the college made her graduate too - she'd taken every class they had.

 

The 1950s thing really reads stereotypically - but having seen its dark glass with a love-light behind it, it turns out that it can be a stained-glass beauty.

 

I think it's the heart of the person who make a role like that either work or not work. I know my Mom was always big on appreciating whatever she had, rather than lamenting what she didn't have or what others had. Taking others actions or words for granted was pretty well forbidden in my house.

 

She worked pretty "cheaply" those "1950" years though, raising us and making a home out of the house.

All she got was endless affection, respect, and appreciation, a financially sound husband which whom she shared interests and who'd rather spend an evening talking with her than watching TV.

A large number of kids who call her Mom and love her dearly, five of to which she gave birth, all of which knew how to clean and maintain a house, sew a shirt, cook a meal, and do their own laundry. Respect in the community for her endless volunteer work, whether it was PTA, reading at schools, leading Camp Fire Girls, being Den mother for Boy Scouts, or one of her other "hobbies".

 

And a zillion hugs.

[Zariah]

I *do* think that today's society overlooks what a HUGE job and responsibility it is to be a home maker. If those who don't understand could spend one day in their shoes, I'm SURE they'd change their opinions.

[Gryphon]

Oi! What about the helpless Mynx that became your test subject? Where's my apology?

huggles Mynx

 

I was going to pounce on you whenever I next saw you and give it to you in person.

[Shathward]

Mmm. Yes. Consider how much housework 'traditional Japanese wives' do; it doesn't even compare to the 1950's American woman! Japanese men were even worse sexist pigs that the American men ... right bunch of slave drivers they were. I was just thinking that if we all included housework in GDP, the backward countries that made more women do the 50's bit would get a significant boost.

[Venefyxatu]

*lets the invisibility-to-Mynx-spell fade away after making sure that there are no sledgehammers, other hammers or metal boxes around*

 

Venefyxatu, to a native English speaker, there's a strong, cultural, confrontational overtone of "You did nothing all day, compared to me" to that phrasing.  Also I suspect that Salinye would rather be destructive to an object than caustic to a person.  Be glad it's a replaceable type of destruction.

Thanks for clearing that up! I'll have to pay a lot of attention to things like that ...

If I'm serious, though, I think I would rather have, say, my arm broken (something I've never experienced, which might explain this partly) than my harddrive wiped while I'm unprepared for it. (which I did experience - I'm still trying to recreate / find back lost files) Of course, I'm only talking about my own limbs here, I'm quite sure I'd rather see my harddrive wiped (unprepared) than, say, my brother's arm broken ...

Computers are ... important to me (probably because I understand them better than I do people, and I feel more at ease with them as well), and I mentally cringe every time I see someone doing something violent to them, or see someone throwing their cell phone on their desk, dropping a remote, kicking a bag in which I know to be a PDA or otherwise doing something bad to something electronic.

 

When I read that back that looks as though I'm putting it a bit too strong, but I'm sure you get my meaning.

 

Well, my personal views are that it should be up to the individual to as what lifestyle they want to have.

You are right about that ... although it leaves me wondering how I would cope with the 1950s stereotype presented.

 

 

Peredhil, your mother sounds like a great woman! Almost as great as mine , but let's not go comparing mothers here, because I'm sure that most of us if not everyone will find their own mother the greatest

[Salinye]

Quincunx~

 

ALL HAIL THE INVENTOR OF CROCKPOTS!

 

*Dons her best toga and bows down in proper worship*

 

~Salinye

Edited March 16, 2005 by Salinye