Hurry on

[Ayshela]

A quite determined lack of tears -

stifle sadness, swallow fears,

ignore the ache that's lasted years

and hurry on your way.

 

You'll never find you lack a task

which must be done, or those who'll ask

for more and more - so don the mask

and hurry through your day.

 

Then when night falls you find a friend

who'll catch you as you hit the end

of strength to bear the pains that send

you hurrying on your way

 

Into the deepest, blackest night

in hopes of endless, painless flight

instead of nightmare waves of fright

then hurry into day.

 

And then again the lack of tears

and stifled sadness, swallowed fears,

ignore the ache a few more years,

elude the blows and muffled jeers,

it's only 'til they've grown, my dears,

so hurry on your way.

[Ozymandias]

You play the heartstrings ably as always. As I've already told you, and is worth saying again, well said, and beauty indeed in sadness.

 

Thank God you're still pretty bad at dodging the hugs.

 

*hug*

[Peredhil]

*hugs*

 

This sounds all too familiar from my own life. Well said.

[Loki Wyrd]

Thanks to whomever made the request for you to post it, or else I would not have the pleasure of reading it. I really like the way this flows.

Edited March 5, 2005 by Loki Wyrd

[Katzaniel]

Wow, that's incredible. Great flow, good theme.

 

.. How many of these do you write and not post?

[Sweetcherrie]

Me like

 

- Sweetcherrie

[Ayshela]

*blush* thank you.

Katz - generally - probably about half or two thirds of what i write gets posted, but lately it's been a much much lower percentage. i'm working on fixing that. =)

[Wyvern]

I think this is a great poem, Ayshela. As Katzaniel mentioned, the rhyme scheme definitely stands out and never gets tiresome in its repetition, which gives the piece an excellent flow. I especially like how the last lines of each of the stanzas are repeated to parallel the consistant rhyming of the rest of the poem, and also thought that the extension of the final stanza to six lines made it sum up the themes of the poem in a very powerful manner.

 

My only minor complaint when reading this is the reference to the reader as "my dears" near the end of the final stanza, as this particular phrase seemed out of place to me given the otherwise-objective tone of the poem. Perhaps this tidbit could be exchanged for some other, more relevent rhyming phrase?

 

Great stuff.

[Finnius]

*rushes in late, attempts a pounce and instead falls on the floor, scuffing his knees, then settles for a tired tacklehug*

 

I totally know that feeling, and it's very well... er... eloquated? Something like that, anyway. As always, 'Shela, a joy and a pleasure to read.

 

*le flops*