Perhaps

[Zariah]

First, I'd like to say, that I take for granted many many things.

But, I think sometimes about how necessary we need the Earth, Wind, and Water.

I realize, that we are killing ourselves by killing our resources.

There are other ways to survive, without destroying what we SHOULD cherish.

Anyways, some of you may disagree, but this is my crappy (but meaningful) poem.

 

 

Ancient mountains carry strength and wisdom,

Perhaps they’ve seen undocumented history.

 

Ocean sands believe the current’s dreams;

Perhaps they erode from the water’s distress.

 

Caverns yet untouched, carry immortal treasure,

Perhaps they sense our greed.

 

The largest trees have longest roots.

Perhaps they feel the land’s abuse.

 

The clouds cover our Earth like a blanket.

Perhaps it protects us for a reason.

 

Perhaps nature detests what we’ve become.

And the mountains remain silent from our hate.

And the Ocean’s sands wash away from the shores.

And the Caverns hide the riches from our greed.

And the Trees weep for the land’s abuse.

And the clouds are dying from pollution.

Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps….

[Wyvern]

I think that this is a very good poem, Zariah. It drives across its themes nicely and I really like a lot of your phrasing, especially in the line "Ocean sands believe the current’s dreams;/ Perhaps they erode from the water’s distress." The structure of the poem also struck me as very well done, as the repetition used in the second-to-last stanza that ties all of the elements of nature together is evocative and intriguing. The only line that I didn't really like in the poem was the very last line, as I felt it was blunt compared to the rest of the work and was not quite as striking as the other lines.

 

Very nicely done, I enjoyed this. :-)

[Zariah]

I thought so too. Thank's for the advise. I edited it from the poem.