John

[Sweetcherrie]

Last night spent

In john’s embrace

Didn’t feel right

Felt disgraced

 

I spilled my guts

He took it away

For last night’s meal

I had to pay.

 

 

 

 

edit: spend > spent

edit: Jhon's > john's

Edited January 26, 2005 by Sweetcherrie

[Peredhil]

*huggles*

 

On two occasions, I've spent the night holding a woman with the promise of sex in the morning - if they still wanted it.

 

On both occasions they woke up feeling happy, cherished, and without any guilt at all - and delightedly told me they didn't ever want to have sex with me.

 

The need to be touched, if denied, kills babies. There are nurses in most modern hospitals whose only job is to move from baby to baby, ensuring they are held a certain amount of time each hour.

 

Adults have touch needs too - but societies too often tell them that they must pay with sex just to have touch. Once the need is met, the guilt begins.

 

There's a reason I hug so much, here and in real life. People need hugs that don't have strings attached.

 

*hugs again*

[Peredhil]

 

You know...

 

I underestimated your linguistic abilities and poetic imagery.

 

 

Sooo. Since I totally misread it, Let me look at it again in a way I normally don't do - critically.

 

spend prolly should be spent. spend is current, spent is past.

 

In John's embrace - this is what threw me! I prolly would've said, "in the john's embrace" - a definite article and not capitalizing the "J" moves it from someone's proper name (with all the connotations that "John" has for sex (a John is often the slang for someone who buys sexual services)), to the slang for a toilet!

Having had a hangover with 22 hours of vomiting (don't ask), I vaguely remember thanking God that a john's porcelin was cool on my forehead, as I embraced it.

For anyone who's been there, this sets up the "aha!" recognition of the after-drinking experience. The "didn't feel right"/"disgrace" lines amplify and support this *very* well.

 

The second stanza is deja vu from my past all over again.

You wrote this so well, that it *could've* been how I took it - but with much less straining to read into it, it perfectly states what it is!

 

Good job.

[Sweetcherrie]

*Thanks and hugs Peredhill for his replies*

 

I have changed spend into spent, guess my linguistic abilities do faulter every now and then.

 

Rereading your explanation again, I have also changed the capital J.

 

This feels really good, I have learned a lot from one comment.

 

Now I also know what "a Jhon" is!

 

*Wrinkles are forming on her forehead as sweetcherrie thinks how she can use this info in a new story or poem*

 

*Knuffel*

 

Sweetcherrie

Edited January 26, 2005 by Sweetcherrie

[reverie]

oh wow..., i missed the meaning too...

 

 

I must be getting rusty....

 

This calls for drastic action.l

 

 

**chuggs some fish oil, then runs off to go read a book...**

 

 

rev...