City, Lost

[Loki Wyrd]

Surrendered to the feral jungle

Once called home

Remnants of a people

Long since gone

 

Indifferent to the places of worship

Where blood was spilled to appease the gods

Trampling on the learnings and knowledge

That in the end failed them all

 

Buildings lie in ruin

Speaking of their past

In a voice no longer heard

That wasn't made to last

 

Nothing glows anymore

It's just deep and dark and black

Where the whims of the wind

Still may take it all back

 

But there is a continuance to everything

Life and death within the dirt

And though our ways may not still be

There is yet the earth we helped breathe

 

Holding to the feral jungle

Of this place once called home

Reminder of a species

Otherwise now forgotten

 

 

 

 

This likely needs some revision. As always, any suggestions/comments would be appreciated.

Edited January 22, 2005 by Loki Wyrd

[Zadown]

Mmm I like it. *reads it a few times*

 

It doesn't wallow in self-pitying angsty melodrama, which'd be easy, given the subject. *nods slowly to himself*

[Sweetcherrie]

Ok......hmm......Ok..........

 

Feels like I have lost something precious.

 

now goes trough her files to see if none of her stories have been eaten by a dangerous virus

 

Yes I like it!

There is only one phrase that I read differently than it was written.

 

You have written: Still may take it all back

 

and it felt as if it should have read: May still take it back

 

But then again I'm blond and Dutch, so I might be really wrong there

 

With love

[Appy]

the brief reading I did, it sounded good.

Also I agree with what Z said, you could've easily gone into angst, but didn't. Good job there

 

PS: love the 'feral jungle' metaphor

Edited January 23, 2005 by Appy

[Ayshela]

*seconds Appy*

i LOVE the "feral jungle" image.