Sparhawk Posted January 7, 2005 Report Posted January 7, 2005 dunno if that's a good title...but it's what I've come up with for it...guess it's kinda embarrassing for me to admit I write this stuff and all that...but anyways guess I'll post it... You showed me A very good time The best time I've had in a long time I just thought You'd like to know I will never forget that night First of all I will say this right now, this is not about sleeping with some girl...it's about actually enjoying myself at a College Party with her, and just like hanging out and talking...and dancing...
Quincunx Posted January 8, 2005 Report Posted January 8, 2005 The only line which gives the impression you don't want to give has the phrase "a good time" in it--swap out "good" for a different adjective and the chance to misintrepret would be gone.
Peredhil Posted January 8, 2005 Report Posted January 8, 2005 True poetry in my opinion has to communicate the heart. I think this is a great start. Quincunx already stated my first suggestion, but you have something here on which you can expand if you wish. Why was the night special? Did you talk? How did that make you feel? Did you dance? How did that feel? The language of the heart is the language common to all of us (except a few sociopaths) - feelings. Feelings is illogical, petty, grand, ruthless, and very filling. They provide the energy to do anything without being constantly exhausted - they are the engine in the human car. But they make a poor driver! Poetry is a way of expressing those feelings in a way that lets others understand and feel an echo of recognition. That means you can't be WRONG about your feelings as long as you're honest. It only means that you can learn HOW to express them better. I'm glad to see you posting. Hugs -P
Sparhawk Posted January 8, 2005 Author Report Posted January 8, 2005 I guess...it was a very fun night...and I'm sure I'll probably never see one like it again...
Sparhawk Posted September 9, 2006 Author Report Posted September 9, 2006 This girl was anther flirt...enough said
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