Zadown Posted December 29, 2004 Report Share Posted December 29, 2004 (edited) through a blizzard through a torrential rain glides a pearly white car the chariot of the deliverance the Deliverator! so fast! clothed in dark denim clothed in turtlenecks and long johns strolls a black figure the avatar of daily news the Deliverator! so brave! hyped up on caffeine hyped up on needless painkillers dances on a thin man the herald of freshly printed paper the Deliverator! so smooth! the Deliverator! so flawless! Edited December 30, 2004 by Zadown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zariah Posted December 29, 2004 Report Share Posted December 29, 2004 LOL! That's great! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zadown Posted December 29, 2004 Author Report Share Posted December 29, 2004 The original Nyaark's "For the Plasma Dragon" Eh, and of course it also points at my current work as a newspaper delivery guy. The actual term, "the Deliverator", has been shamelessly stole from Neal Stephenson's "Snow Crash". Stealing's what us writers do best! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Appy Posted December 29, 2004 Report Share Posted December 29, 2004 *giggle* very funny. My favorite stanza is the one mentioning the avatar of daily news Reminds me a bit of DEATH from Terry Pratchett, hehe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peredhil Posted December 29, 2004 Report Share Posted December 29, 2004 LOL. This is a great break from your normal style. Being a newspaper deliverer has started a number of careers... but in Finnland, I'd imagine it is COLD! Some of the Lost becomes a bit more realistic to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanuchan Posted December 29, 2004 Report Share Posted December 29, 2004 *adds her laugh and enjoyment to all the others* I really like this! Light hearted, and so descriptive! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Finnius Posted December 29, 2004 Report Share Posted December 29, 2004 !! Ohmigod! Snow Crash is so the best book ev-har. Me hearts Uncle Enzo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoaringIcarus Posted January 1, 2005 Report Share Posted January 1, 2005 *dons a pair of needlessly large nerd-glasses* your "so ____" are all one-syllable until the last line! *babies across the western hemisphere begin to cry* *flies to the eastern hemisphere on his PLASMA DRAGON* *Winks to Nyyark* -Icarus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zadown Posted January 9, 2005 Author Report Share Posted January 9, 2005 (edited) no friction it's too warm for a January night and the ice sweats glistens with sickly sheen I try to stop ten miles per hour to zero but the brakes shout: "there's no friction, guv none at all, sir" I push and shove stand on the pedal curse and grimace but the brakes shout: "there's no friction, guv none at all, sir" and the car I drive sails over a mailbox crushes it like a gnat it's way too warm for a winter night and the snow melts forms slick puddles I try to walk three miles per hour to a door but the soles shout: "there's no friction, guv none at all, sir" I extend my hands dance like a maniac slip and slide but the soles shout: "there's no friction, guv none at all, sir" and I stand on the cloudy sky the frigid ground smashes against my head it's tropical, really for an Epiphany night the freezing rain is oddly liquid I try to crawl one mile per hour to a house but the roof shouts: "there's no friction, guv none at all, sir" I listen in horror try to stumble away close my eyes but the roof shouts: "there's no friction, guv none at all, sir" and a ton of soggy slush falls from above flattens poor hapless me Edited January 9, 2005 by Zadown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peredhil Posted January 9, 2005 Report Share Posted January 9, 2005 Oh what a terrible picture of disaster! I feel such guilty pleasure for my laughter. I simply can't help but picture Buster Keaton, Busted keester, Dripping with semi-solid slushy stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katzaniel Posted January 9, 2005 Report Share Posted January 9, 2005 That's just so awesome. Excellent repetition. I agree with Peredhil, it's amusing to read but then you feel sort of guilty for having fun when this poor fellow is outside in that white stuff I only have to view from my window. The style also seems to support the theme. I actually didn't notice the lack of punctuation and capitalization on the first read, and that's saying a lot. Most poems that do that, it really bothers me, but with this it just fit somehow. (Having said that, I don't remember what I thought about the last one... perhaps I'm just losing my sensitivity to it...) I particularily liked "and I stand on the starry sky". It draws an unexpected but (for me) noticable tie to the first situation, a half-repetition that stands on its own as a really neat line, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zadown Posted January 9, 2005 Author Report Share Posted January 9, 2005 Hee, thanks. "This poor fellow" is me, btw, even if I only suffered one of the three accidents. All three were potential, however. Edited it and I'm afraid I altered your favourite, Katz - forgot rain and starry sky do not mix, so changed it to cloudy sky. I hope some mystic balance I was not aware of wasn't ruined. Capitalized January too, to match with capitalized Epiphany. Anyways, the fragment of a sentence "there's no friction, guv" was stuck in my head for most of my newspaper round on the wet ice. Dunno what to think of all this 'humorous' stuff that I've written lately, it's not my usual style at all... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Appy Posted January 10, 2005 Report Share Posted January 10, 2005 *gasps* You don't think you're getting.. happy are you? *giggles and hugs Z* Very funny, don't stop this, we're loving it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zadown Posted January 10, 2005 Author Report Share Posted January 10, 2005 Nah Appy, the reason would be easy to recognize if it'd be happiness, but that's not quite it. *scratches his head* Glad to hear ya'll like it, there's no real reason for me to stop either as long as these peculiar humorous inspirations strike my near-bald head. Guess it's just slow conquering of new territory, I wonder what's next. Soppy romance tales? Non-fiction? Rhyming poems? o_O Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zadown Posted February 1, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 1, 2005 it is just work memories of it soon broken and hidden until only shards remain a man, me driving through a snowstorm over loose snow to the beat of russian techno fist flailing in defiance two birds duelling with songs in a blizzard amidst the frigid dark night lightens up at the corners soon a morning or a spring rubber boots sliding over the ice inside car redecorated with the clinging whiteness of snow and of forgotten newspapers of misty breath on the windows fingers tapping on the leatherclad wheel paid minutes marching away to the forlorn tune clock ticking overtime before toil has begun delivery halted in absence of the goods a slam of a door a gesture of inky fingers a farewell to the carriage day's tasks done only a walk left past others, slower heavily clad colleagues carrying news from the world only shards remain of the winter's knife of the walked nights and the slept days Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zadown Posted April 11, 2005 Author Report Share Posted April 11, 2005 I won a nanosecond today did not push the newspaper all the way did not do my job very well I won a nanosecond today from gravity laughed a little when it grabbed dragged the paper down I lost a nanosecond today laughed a little when gravity did my job pushed the newspaper all the way I spent a second today did not move when the birds sang a song did not hurry forward very well I spent a second today during work smiled a little when I was paid for a moment of beauty I gained a second today smiled a little when a song inspired me allowed me to dash forward the rest of the way I misplaced a day yesterday did not find the hours afterwards did not stay awake very well I misplaced a day yesterday somewhere in my bed drifted a little in the chaotic dreams floating through the hours I found a day yesterday drifted a little in my memories of the chaotic dreams in their intricate visions lost my way Note - mostly just an exercise in repetition. Meh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts