Want

[Peredhil]

I don't want

 

To be better than nothing in your eyes.

To be the idiot across the table.

To have you feel trapped by the budget.

To be condemned because I have friends.

To be disrespectful.

To have an adversary.

To have to watch and weigh my every word.

To burden you with gratitude.

 

I want

To be forgiven.

To have truth.

To have easy conversations.

To agree on major issues.

To have a partner.

To be accepted.

To be appreciated.

 

I want to be wanted freely.

[Zariah]

Dad (I hope I can call you that now)-

 

 

You are more than wonderful

The kindest and most understanding

Open-minded and thoughtful

You bear your pain, but keep it inside

You respect others and try so very hard

Friends are what keep you happy in a way, right?

So it’s a great thing to have friends.

With one person in mind--- it’s smart to plan each word

But you should remain honest in content.

It’s so very sad that appreciation is not honored- but it is NOT your fault.

 

I wish you were, I truly do. But she must change too.

Lies destroy trust, and it must be honest both ways.

I think you’ll never have easy conversations, and I am saddened for you.

It’s essential to agree on important issues.

Your friends can be your partners, but I know what you mean

It hurts me to witness your loss.

We accept you, I accept you.

I appreciate everything you do for me, for others too.

But I know what you mean, and for that I am saddened.

 

You want to be wanted freely.

 

I want what you want for you, and I’ll pray for your wants and don‘t wants,

For God can hear and love you, more than anyone.

 

But know that you ARE loved.

[Gwaihir]

Friends are those of us who understand what you mean...or don't, but stay here anyway just to be with you.

Five times in the last two days, I've tried to PM you, Pered, just to chat, but each time the words didn't seem to have enough meaning, didn't seem to deserve to be sent If I were roll-playing, I'd offer you a glass of hot cider, but may I just offer a hug instead.

[Ayshela]

so often you take shades of the words of my heart and write them, only better than i could have.

i'm sorry these words exist for you

but i'm glad you have a place here to put them.

 

*huge hugs*

[Parmenion]

They are reasonable wants to which each man and woman is entitled to. My heart would go out to any person not getting them...

 

*hugs*

[Appy]

I would have a comment on the actual content, but I don't know what to say... mostly because I really dislike the word 'want'. It dictates the life of too many people. (did I say that right? not sure about the grammar there)

 

I like the format (exactly my kindof style). And a good edit I thought

 

*hugs Mr. P and walks away grumbling to herself "making me think again, always making me think.."

 

 

Afterthought:

 

What confuses me greatly is the first two sentences:

 

'I don't want

to be better than nothing in your eyes'

 

To me that reads: I want to be nothing in your eyes....

 

Tell me I'm wrong please

Edited December 29, 2004 by Appy

[WrenWind]

*hugs*

[reverie]

What confuses me greatly is the first two sentences:

 

'I don't want

to be better than nothing in your eyes'

 

To me that reads: I want to be nothing in your eyes....

 

Tell me I'm wrong please 

*apologizes to Big P, if I cross a line here*

 

Appy, hmm. I'll hazard a guess on this one. I think the author is trying say he want's to more to whoever it is he's writing it too.

 

I.E. When you tell someone, "well having you is better than nothing." You're really not giving them much of a complement. Like, you could also say, "this pay check is better than nothing but really I would like it to be sooooo much more. "

 

So, well that's the way, I took it.

 

 

rev...

Edited December 29, 2004 by reverie

[Peredhil]

The problem with "being better than nothing" in someone's eyes is that when anyone or anything comes along that is worth anything - there's no reason to say "no".

 

Mathematically, if a person is just hanging around for familiarity (better than nothing, 0), anything greater than 1 is hard to resist.

 

Scratches his head.

 

Have I confoozled you completely, as Winnie the Pooh might say?

 

Edit:

Oh! Oh! Read what Reverie said! He said it so much better. *hugs the big R.*

[Tanuchan]

To stay here and look and see

that a loved one has a burdened heart

 

To be away and try to reach out

to be fooled by distance and tricks of life

 

To sit here and stare blankly

struggling with words that dance away.

 

This is what I don't want

and fight to overcome;

but life has many tricks,

imposed on us for unknown purposes.

We suffer what we don't want

so that we value what we can get.

 

And what I want is to be here

to listen to you when words flow freely

 

To offer a hand with a firm grasp

to help when the ground becomes too rough

 

To bring you within reach of my heart

to warm your life and banish the cold

 

As you do for us all

when we face the darkest shadows.

 

 

 

*hugs*

~Tanny

[Zariah]

"Afterthought:

What confuses me greatly is the first two sentences:

 

'I don't want

to be better than nothing in your eyes'

 

To me that reads: I want to be nothing in your eyes....

 

Tell me I'm wrong please "

 

 

 

What he is saying is that he doesn't want to be a last resort--- that someone who is there because it's better than being alone. He wants to be loved and appreciated and there because he is wonderful, or seen as the right choice. He does not want to be in someone's life because they would rather be with him rather than be alone. He wants to be the choice over other options, not a "Back-up" security.

Edited December 29, 2004 by Zariah

[Appy]

ooooooooooooooooh

 

I get it now Blame my non-english background for that one, I know I do

 

Thank you, both rev and Pered, for clearing that up, together you were crystal clear

 

(I really gotta stop this smiley stuff... aw ok, one more)

 

After post-posting ( ) : Thanks Zariah too!

Edited December 29, 2004 by Appy

[Zariah]

Wow you all got yours in faster than my post!

[Appy]

I knew I should've just posted a new post instead of editing the other one...

 

 

 

Now for my actual reason for making yet another post (sorry!):

 

Now that I understand the first sentence, the content is that much clearer. Since this is one of those poems 'hanging' by the first few lines. (if you get what I mean)

 

*hugs P*

 

I know what you mean with this now, better then before everyone had to explain to me what 'better than nothing' means *rolls her eyes at herself*

And...I could go on into a huge post now, but what it'll come down to is acceptance. Namely, either you do, or you don't.

Once you've been able to do that, you can continue to change, and this has to be mutually. (As should be the acceptance)

 

The first thing to find out tho, is the what. What could be accepted, in the long run. (or even sacrificed. Acceptance comes in many forms)

And either I'm now speaking for myself, or I sensed some underlying thought, but something tells me you haven't pinpointed that exactly yet... to my account, that's nearly impossible anyways, but doable to a degree in that you can step forwards again, instead of lingering in this spot.

 

Oh boy, it's gone on to be a long post anyways. And I'm this close to deleting it since it's all so analytical. And presumptious too....Bah, sorry for that. But I couldn't sit by idle...And this IS me, how I 'work' *wan smile*

 

Know you are wanted freely by many people here and elsewhere, without prejudice or pretense, and in many forms. Of course that's small help, but as we say in my family: "Alle kleine beetjes helpen." (means as much as: Every small thing helps")

 

*big hug*

[Peredhil]

*hugs Appy*

 

You shouldn't EVER delete a post that is trying to be positive. Your honest opinion is your honest opinion and should always feel free here at Pen to post it.

 

Besides, that's pretty good advice.

[SoaringIcarus]

*looks around absent-mindedly, sniffs, and emits a quiet nasal noise that sounds like:

 

Eurrrrrrrrrrrrrr.....*

 

Why is "condemned because" blue? You know how many millions of things that could mean, but you don't toss your readers any bones. Why blue instead of bold? Bruise imagery? "condemned because" as a pivot point in the poem? Pointing it out to whomever you're talking, because they need it highlighted?

 

I like the form of this poem, how it's very shopping-list. Like "Oh hey, when you go to the store, use my list", and it's read in the frozen dairy section or something. Really cool.

 

Really like how "want to be wanted freely" breaks away from the last stanza. It looks, literally, like what it means.

 

*dons Peredhil cheerleader outfit*

 

Go Peredhil, Go, go, go peredhil!

 

You are freely and lovingly wanted here. Remember that.

 

-Icarus

Edited January 1, 2005 by SoaringIcarus

[Peredhil]

Ummm,

 

It's in blue because it was an edit for clarity. I rarely go back and edit my works, so, since I changed something, I wanted it to stand out. That way anyone who'd read it previously would know where the change was.

 

Although, I can see how it would be confusing!

[Gryphon]

I dont have any mighty words of wisdom to go with this - but then I so rarely do. Nor do I have a dazzling critique - but on thinking about it, I never have...

 

What I do have is four little words:

I know, thank you.

And a hug.

 

Because I know what you mean by what you've written, or at least I think I do, and I've felt that way enough that it's nice that you managed to put it into words.

 

Thanks Peredhil.

Edited January 3, 2005 by Gryphon

[sweetnightmare]

peredhil,

 

 

Starts by taking his hand in hers*

 

I am new, and i dont know what inspired you to write this as other seem to know, but i do know that your words tell enough. It is hard when you feel this way, but i wanted you to know that even as little as i know you, and from all i have read...you are an amazing person... and everyone here seems to care..never forget that. You gave me confort eariler today about posting my writing...now i wish i could give you comfort about who you are

 

Believe in it

 

i loved your poem, it brings me comfort as well, becasue i am so far from home and in a whole new place. I value you in my new world.

 

Keep writing

 

And have a flower

 

[Loki Wyrd]

First off, I didn't read all the replies in here, so it's quite possible this has been said already. If so, forgive me. I did notice that there was some confusion as a result of the first couple lines. I think this may have been in part because of the double negative: don't-nothing. Maybe if you wrote it, 'better than nothing,' it would set it apart and help clarify that as a phrase that's been used.

 

You seem a very kind person, so I hope that get what you want (and don't get the other end of it). Here's to hoping~~>

[Annael]

If there is someone that I know that is deserving of such as these things, it's you.

You give of yourself unconditionally and deserve the same in turn.

 

There's not much more that I can or need to say. You already know how I feel.

 

*gives a kiss and a hug*