Alaeha Posted December 20, 2004 Report Posted December 20, 2004 A large blue tent arose, easily within sight of Peredhil's Kissing Booth and Wyvern's Game. This one, though, wore a different banner. In bold blue letters, the banner proclaimed that this was the home of Fractured Carols. Alaeha waited inside, sitting next to a small sign which, she imagined, would explain everything. The sign announced, in the same flowing, blue script as the banner, "Try and write a parody or comic remaking of any of the classic holiday carols for this time of year. (Example below.) The first two songs will earn ten geld each, but there is no reward for any further songs. The examples below were all written, based on the same song, by Ayshela." Here, the script changed slightly, and the text turned black. Kid version: Hark! The herald angels shout Five more days ‘til we get out! Five more days of this routine Not long now until we’re free! No more crowded halls to fight No more homework every night! Hark! The herald angels shout Five more days ‘til we get out! Teacher/Staff version: Hark! The herald angels shout Five more days ‘til they’re all out! Five more days ‘til they’ve gone home No more through these halls to roam. No more silly tales of woe No more having to say NO! Hark! The herald angels shout Five more days ‘til they’re all out! Parent version: Hark! The herald angels shout Five more days ‘til they’re all out! Five more days of blissful quiet All that’s left before the riot! Then there’s endless children’s fights Through the days, into the nights Hark! The herald angels shout Five more days ‘til they’re all out!
Peredhil Posted December 21, 2004 Report Posted December 21, 2004 With apologies to Game Workshop's Warhammer 40,000- Horace, the one-horned Farseer, Had lopsided helm, And if you ever saw him, You would laugh because he smelled. All of the other Farseers, Used to laugh and play with his mind. A bunch of rowdy psychers, Have potential to be unkind. Then one foggy Chrismas Eve, The Avatar came to say... Horace with your Eldritch Storm Won't you keep our Craftworld warm? Then how the Farseer's loved him, And the Warlock's shouted with glee: "Horace the one-horned Farseer - You're the PEF* we all want to be!" *PEF - Pointy-Eared Freaks, a term for Craftworld Eldar.
Peredhil Posted December 21, 2004 Report Posted December 21, 2004 Hark, the lemoned salmon sings! Go and eat, those turkey wings! Pieces of turkey and giblet gravy, Perhaps you'd like some stuffing maybe. Pieces of ham or roast beast too We recommend it all to you-oo, Avoid the fishies of the sea We don't wanna be eaten you see-ee, Avoid the fishies of the brine, Eating turkey is just fine.
Zariah Posted December 21, 2004 Report Posted December 21, 2004 Peredhil--- I think the "Hark the Lemoned Salmon Sings" is so hilarious! I read it to my office and they laughed and laughed. They said you are original and funny! Hope you have an okay day today. (By the way- Are you going to convince any of the gal characters who haven't signed up for the Bachlorette Auction to sign up???) This is a GREAT Thread!! I want to see MORE, MORE, MORE!!!!!!!!
Yui-chan Posted December 21, 2004 Report Posted December 21, 2004 The Warcraft Song (based on The Christmas Song, aka Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire.) Left leg roasting on an open fire, goblins nibbling on your nose, bleeding hearts being strung on some wire, and sounds of victims in death throes. Everybody knows... some satyr and a demon spawn, lead their legions through the land. Tore their way through the village at dawn and left nothing but a chewed-on hand. They say that Proudmore's on her way; She's loaded lots of swords and daggers on her bray. And every goblin runt is going to cry as she most mercifully helps him die... And so, I'm offering this simple prayer, for creeps from Lakeshire to Westfall, when you expire, may Elune show you care, 'cause you won't find mercy here at all. Heheheh. World of Warcraft!
Vigil StarGazer Posted December 22, 2004 Report Posted December 22, 2004 (edited) Wyvern the Blue Nose Elder (elder) Had a giant thirst for Geld (Like Bill Gates) If you have ever saw him (saw him) You'll do good to watch your Gold (something like Geld) All of the other Elder (Elders) used to laff and call him names (like Lizard) They never let poor Wyvern (Wyvern) Run his little evil schemes (Pee Eww) Then one folly Christmas Eve Peredhil came to say (Oh No no) Wyvern with your mind so bright Wouldn't you initiate new penners tonight. Then all the elders Love Him (Love Him) And they shouted out with glee (Yuppiee) Wyvern the blue nose Initator Pay your debt or you'll be History (Like Hilter!) Edited December 22, 2004 by Vigil StarGazer
reverie Posted December 27, 2004 Report Posted December 27, 2004 (edited) We Three Scribes We three scribes of tabloids are; Bearing bribes we expensed so far, Tracked or Trailer, Jailed or Jailor, Enquire, Globe, and Star… Refrain O star of hunger, star of slight Star with botox beauty bright, Billboard leading, so misleading Guide us to thy perfect blight. Scorn this Queen of fashion and fame Flash I bring to catch her again, Queen for moments, only moments Over now, all to feign. Refrain No context to offer have I Context to guide or clarify Slander turned blazing, voices razing Wishing God we’d just die… Refrain Rumor is mine, for all to assume Turns a life of glitter to gloom; Sorrowing, sighing, bleeding, dying Now to the rehab soon Refrain Notorious now behold how she slides; Cold calling jobs to sacrifice Infomercial, Infomercial, Watching your career die… Refrain rev... Edited December 27, 2004 by reverie
reverie Posted December 27, 2004 Report Posted December 27, 2004 (edited) Carol of the Dell Hey what just fell? No! not my Dell! Nothing will stay on the display Finals are here, Wringing with fear Hands what must hold Nothing I’m told Oh #@&$, oh #@&$ I’m really stuck What’s with this thing? Blanking the screen. Nothing was saved So act depraved From ev’ry where Laughter you hear How to rebound In work I drown Call service Dell Telling the tale, Oh help me how? Sweat from my brow Speak soft so clear All disappeared... Very, very, very, very, upset Very, very, very, very, upset Off off it stays So act depraved From ev’ry where Laughter you hear rev... Edited December 27, 2004 by reverie
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