On Life

[drummondo]

This was an attempt at a more observational style of poetry, and as such, I did away with my usual strict rhyme schemes and meters. It's free verse, but I've tried to structure it to make certain lines stand out alone. I also tried to use a bit more symbolism than usual. Also, an odd request; if you wish to add more characters to this bus ride, feel free :>

 

On Life

 

It starts at the stop.

The guy who strolls arrogantly up behind

And waits two minutes

After your twenty,

Before getting the same lift.

 

Hop on,

Pay an unfair amount,

Fare enough

To those in control,

But who don't care.

 

Head up,

Find your place amongst

Returning shoppers

And the lads

On the way to John's night out.

 

Pick your spot in the corner,

As far back as the people will allow.

From here,

Begin once again

To view them.

 

The kids in suits, tracked

And monitored

By only the finest

Metal bracelets.

 

Notice the old man

Fighting back sleep,

Head lolling

like a car ornament;

He's at that point where

Consciousness, unconsciousness

And his conscience

Scare him.

 

The elderly couple;

They've made it pretty far,

But they get off here.

 

There's that girl you always want to talk to.

What's stopping you?

Her eyes,

Or the fact that

You'd have to explain

Meeting her in such a place?

 

Some fat guy blocks the gangway,

And half the stairs.

How dare he

Half block the way up.

How can one big entity control our ascent?

 

Another girl you thought was eyeing you

Leaves.

You're disappointed she didn't look back,

But face it;

You didn't once look at her

When you had the chance.

 

End of the line,

You're the only one on the bus.

 

Step from your red, velvet-style chair,

And make your way to the front.

 

It's your time.

Turn to thank the driver.

 

Realise there's no-one there.

Walk away into the night.

[Gryphon]

The line for the bus is disorganised and in disarray.

 

I know where to stand,

I'm a veteran bus rider,

That gets me on first,

Though I arrived last.

 

Walk to my seat,

No stopping,

No hesitation,

Unless it's taken,

No matter,

Sit one seat back.

 

There's a plan,

So I don't have to share,

The too narrow seats,

Unless I choose to.

 

Drop my bag beside me,

It likes the window seat,

I bury my nose in a book,

And the journey passes,

Unnoticed.

[drummondo]

On another note, if you'd like to hear me read this poem out, you can listen to On Life at my dmusic site. It's in Section 4 - Random Stuff That Shouldn't Be Downloaded :>

 

Thought I'd let you all have a listen, something a little different from the norm

[Cerulean]

*bump*

 

A thought-provoking read. Well observed, cleverly punning and an audio version to boot! Great job.

 

Thanks for posting.

 

C.