Loki Wyrd Posted November 22, 2004 Report Posted November 22, 2004 The woman's voice cracked As she served my drink: "Will there be anything else for you?"-- Worn out from a long day, Or a hard life that always makes it feel that way. I hardly even notice what she says (Though I clearly do) As I wave her away, A simple gesture of my hand Letting me go on.
Loki Wyrd Posted November 22, 2004 Author Report Posted November 22, 2004 An alarm goes off With no one to wake They're already gone But the noise goes on anyway Someone might hear No silence is wasted Though none has come here There is nobody home today No sound at all So it would seem Eviscerated continuance Lasting, when once but a dream
Salinye Posted November 24, 2004 Report Posted November 24, 2004 Loki, these are both really neat pieces. I especially liked the first one. This line jumped out at me in particular: Worn out from a long day, Or a hard life that always makes it feel that way. In the second one, I want to give you kudos for working the word "Eviscerated" successfully into a poem! I love when people can work rarely used words into their poetry. Thank you for sharing! ~Salinye
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