Him

[Tattered]

***This poem is truly unfinished, yet I feel the need as pathetic as it is, to get it out...Lately I have been haunted by this guy and thoughts of him and our past. I think I am not used to being rejected, only adored...That must be the real reason that I haven't gotten over him still. But this is the begining of the end of thoughts of him...I hope...any suggestions?***

 

I had another dream about you last night

I'm not quite sure where dream crosses to reality

But lately I have run into you in broad day light

Did my thoughts draw you here for my eyes to see?

 

I've decided the reason for the pain when I see you two,

Is a product of how foolish I behaved when you had me

I hate the girl I appeared to be when I was with you

I don't know how to set myself from your anguish free

 

My creative talent has come to a sudden halt

When I can't control these thoughts of you

Even in my dreams I see you finding me at fault

I wish I could take back the first day I met you

[cryptomancer]

The incomplete poem of fractured thought, I like, it is beautiful. the questions it asks are clear and call to be answered.

 

For me, I write like this a lot, scribbling down the thoughts of my flooding mind before I drown in them.

 

[Tattered]

Thank you for the encouragement, I truly have deep emotions that my limited vocabulary fails to explore...My words leave my bleeding heart wanting.

[Cyril Darkcloud]

Words themselves

are frail and fragile things,

small before the mysteries,

the dreams, the pain

that beats in unspoken

cadences of feeling

from the wounded corners

and tender places

of the living heart.

 

Speech itself

is little more than

stammering,

a dance of stutters,

in the face

of that which is

most real, most deep,

most true about

the hidden beating

of the living heart

and the wordless

weeping of the

wounded life.

 

Clumsiness of tongue

and awkwardness of pen

are the price one pays

to dare to speak,

to sing, to write,

those things

whose homes lie

in the deepest parts of life

and whose features burn

with a clarity

that wounds the eye

and makes stiff

the speaking tongue.

 

Tattered, there is nothing pathetic about needing to bring that which one feels into some form of expression, however incomplete that expression might be. To find one's words to be inadequate before the strength of one's feelings is no fault -- it is a sign of having something truly worth saying.

 

Learning how to express strong feelings takes work in no small part because our strongest feelings often touch what is most important in our lives and such things need to be spoken of with care. That you care enough to seek not only to express what you feel but to find the best words to express it is the mark of one who is well on the way to becoming a strong writer. Keep writing - the words will come as will your own style of expressing them.

[Salinye]

Well, Tattered, you will find my words here, highly hypocritical. I am someone who does not feel like poetry is a very strong form for me, and have a hard time posting my poems. However, that being said...

 

Poetry is nothing short of the true expression of how someone is feeling, thinking, dreaming. There are many forms, from very set poetry rules to very random quick scribblings. Niether is less poetic than the other. I have found that getting the emotions written down in ANY form while I am feeling them so intensely is a briliant idea. There is all the time in the world for perfecting, but intensity of feelings fade and change. The hard part is to truly capture a feeling into words so that the reader can feel them too. You have managed to do that! Very well, actually. Now, if you feel like you want these words into a more structured form, GREAT! There is much time to do that.

 

In other words, congratulations on capturing some pretty intense feelings and being able to put them into poetic form. Not always easy, and nothing pathetic about it.

 

*hugs*

 

~Salinye