KEDJ Posted November 15, 2004 Report Posted November 15, 2004 Sonnets. KEDJ Talking Tough I've taken refuge in the lower bunk these last 3 months. Our daughter sleeps above, and though I rarely join her till I'm drunk it's hard for me to sleep. You used to love to wake me in that giant bed of yours. Well, go ahead, sprawl any way you will; no fear you'll wake me now. And close both doors tight shut, too, while you're at it, for I still remember that I left my life in there, and some fine day, when I have had enough, I just might want it back. Not that I care, come daylight, because then I'm out of here, But in the evening, though I may talk tough, I'd rather have another. Thank you, dear. Avert Your Eyes… You love to tell me what I ought to do To save the man who’s been my second skin: “Try this, take that. Try doctors; here’s a few:. A specialist will make him well again—“ We don’t APPROVE of pain. “Call someone in: This fellow puts a name to it: ask him.” The world is full of tragedies, my friend: Avert your eyes if you can’t take it. “Send him anywhere, so long as it’s away.” “No, simply leave him for the children’s sake.” So said two colleagues just the other day, Administering a little verbal shake --for my own good, of course. No, thank you all: cowards who quail before a great man’s fall!
Loki Wyrd Posted November 22, 2004 Report Posted November 22, 2004 I really like how these two read. I'd been meaning to reply the first time I saw them, but I have a knack for putting things off. Thanks for sharing~~>
Knight Posted November 22, 2004 Report Posted November 22, 2004 Excellent! I enjoy a good sonnet... They are well written- even if you didn't break them down into stanzas.
Salinye Posted November 24, 2004 Report Posted November 24, 2004 Sonnets are difficult for me to write, so I'm not very good for critique. However, I can tell you that these two peices seemed to radiate a feeling of emptiness and sadness. A sense of "why bother, I give up, yet, do I want to give up?" As if the person it is about is wholly torn in their pain. So, if that is the emotion you were expressing, then I got it! :0) Sometimes the most intense situations are best expressed in a sonnet. Thank you for sharing, I hope to see more from you. ~Salinye
Recommended Posts